"Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand."
I felt directly in complete agreement with this sentiment when I first read it, even while wondering if it was correct. But, as with a lot of thoughts that occur when you are grieving, they might not be complete truth, but they are the truth of what you are feeling as a result of the pain. I have been struggling with the hard truth that God's words are not consoling me as they once have but at the same time, I have not lost hold of what I know to be true about the Lord. The Christian faith promises suffering and pain. Jesus himself suffered greatly on this earth and we are called to participate in His suffering. He wept also when loved ones died. And there are so many examples of godly men and women who waited, who suffered physically and emotionally, who grieved and mourned, who cried out wondering when the Lord would answer. These truths are not comforting to us who want a religion that promises warm fuzzies and easy times. And so, I don't feel that Christianity is always comforting. We are given permission to mourn with those who mourn (validating the process of mourning). And yet, we are also told that "weeping may tarry for a night, but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). We are told that God is our strong fortress, our rock, our refuge. He is the lifter of our heads. He brings joy. But I fully believe that the weeping of the night might be a long night. I haven't quite reached the morning yet, the dawn that brings relief. And so, I think I agree with Mr. Lewis.
3 comments:
We are praying, grieving, and holding to God with you through the long night, and believing with you that the morning will come, as He promised. The depth of God's love and mercy transcend this present time and pain, even when it's so very hard to see. We pray for you that each day you would feel more and more of His presence, comfort and joy, but know you must travel the road as your heart leads. We love you all so very much.
Josh and I both read that book awhile back and I so loved his honesty....even though sometimes I was surprised that even C.S. Lewis felt that way. It gave such humanity to grief and sadness...an area that feels like uncharted territory and something you can't exactly plan for. Thanks again for being real about your process. My heart is with you during the night.
Hello dear Lisa and Scotty! First I must thank you for your blog posts. It is a beautiful testimony to God's mighty works and our humanity. Many people appreciate your writing and sharing yourself. You are blessing us!
As I read, I wonder... why do we expect so much of ourselves? Why do we expect ourselves to get over such a life altering event or move on? In our limited human vision, we expect certain feelings, actions, emotions... but God knows exactly how you are feeling, and He knows that Zion will always be a part of your thoughts, feelings, and life. Zion has made a permanent mark on many of our lives, especially yours. Don't push yourself too hard or expect too much. Grief is a long process. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling. You have such an amazing faith and an ability to turn to God with your innermost thoughts. I admire that in you! God loves our honesty - He knows already! I think of the prayer... Lord I do believe, help my unbelief... which I have uttered myself during many times of struggle.
Please hold tight to our love, the love of your family and friends and the never ending, unconditional, absolute love of the Father. This will be a long process, for sure. We grieve with you, cry with you and allow you to feel and express whatever touches your heart!
All our love!
Shelley
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