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| Killing time in the Orlando airport on our journey home. |
After leaving Orlando yesterday, as we approached our first lay-over in Lima, Peru, I started to feel that familiar anxiety crawling into my heart and threatening to settle there. Am I really ready to go back? The time that we were away was restful and good and so many gifts from our kind Father were given in that time. But, when we left in the dark hours of the morning, neighborhoods and stores were barricaded, angry people were acting out without restraint on the streets and general chaos reigning. Those memories have a way of resurfacing. So, as I sat in the quiet dark of the plane, I prayed that the Lord would remind me of how He had protected us last time. How He had given us a place to retreat to. How I had survived, by His grace, harder things before.
This time, as we drove through El Alto after leaving the airport, there were no mobs of people, no barbed wire and burning tires. The twinkling night lights in the bowl of La Paz beckoned us back. The worn, simple brick buildings looked like familiar and comforting landscape. The same signs and billboards, the bumpy streets, the tight curves, the highly perched buildings all felt like coming home. It felt right and good to be in this place that has held our lives and our hearts for so many years. We haven't been released from our ministry here and the Lord has woven our stories into those of our community in a profound way that can't be untangled and forgotten because of a period of turmoil that sent us running.
So, today we see our house with eyes of gratitude again. This home the Lord has generously given us to raise our family in and to welcome in the broken souls (like us!). I still have much to process, and will probably do some of that here. I wasn't sure how I would feel when I returned and I'm not sure how I'll handle life if things become tumultuous again, as they very well could. But for now, I'm resting in God's sustaining grace.
