Last days

I feel like I have done a lot of "leaving" or "arriving" posts in the last few years. Although I have mostly adapted to our lifestyle of being here and there and everywhere, sometimes all of that catches up with me and throws my emotions into a tizzy. That happened yesterday. But, today I had a lovely day with my daughter, sharing a buttery, soft pretzel and lemonade in the mall and rough-housing on the bed when she should have been napping. As I sat in the cushy, leather chair feeding Natty little bites of pretzel, I wondered if that same scenario might happen in La Paz and what it might look like. Leather and soft pretzel will not be a part of the equation, I know that much. I have tried to be focused on where we are and what we are doing in each place we have been and not look too far ahead or behind, as that usually overwhelms my fragile mind. But, I can't help the "this is the last time I'll be (fill in the blank)" thoughts that keep springing up these days. We have almost a month in Florida to enjoy with my family before we go back- but I've been in this stage before, and that month is so very little. It gets filled with last minute coffees with people, shopping for things we want to take back, Christmas activities, and hopefully, lots of dates with my husband while we have Nana and Papa to babysit. All those things are wonderful, but speed up time somehow. And so I wonder in these 6 months that we've been here, have I made the most of my time? Have I learned what God wanted me to learn? Have I grown closer to Him and more faithful? Will I be a more effective and goldy wife, mother, friend, missionary when we return?

Thanksgiving festivities

"My thighs are tingling!" I resonated with this shivering teenage girl who was walking briskly behind me at the Seveirville, TN outlet mall around one a.m. this morning. Yes, I'm in the smokey mountains with my in-laws and have braved the "black Friday" madness- for the first time ever. Scotty and I left our cabin around 11:30 last night and joined the throngs hoping to find good deals. I thought it wouldn't be too bad as we stepped into a lightly populated Eddie Bauer right before midnight, but changed my mind when I shortly thereafter walked into Gymboree with lines that rivaled Disney World in the summer. Scotty and I split up with the agreement to meet at a certain place every hour and I hoped to spot him among the masses, with loot to show off. Sadly, my initial purchase at Eddie Bauer was all I ended up with- not desperate enough to wait in the lines. I did get a good work out, however, as I practically sprinted around the huge outdoor mall, wanting to warm up and also go in every store possible before needing to meet up with Scotty. I also got somewhat lost, managing to mis-read the map (not surprising) in a hunt for Baby Gap. It was a pretty exhilarating night, between the freezing temps and the boisterous hoots and hollers of a happy shopping crowd. We crashed into bed around 2:30 and decided on-line shopping is looking really good about now.

All that happened before midnight madness, so appropriately named, was great. I had an early morning walk around our cabin grounds while Mimsie and Papi played with Natalie. Mims did a beautiful job putting together our side dishes while Papi manned the turkey. We ate a pretty simple, but delicious lunch, and relaxed for the rest of the day- taking in a game of eucre and a good documentary on forgiveness in Rwanda before moving on to the wee hour shopping activities. I am so very thankful for my family and being together with them this year. We've spent half of 2009 in the states, which is pretty hard to believe, and God has been so good to us in this time.

Tick...tick...tick

Although this time in Charlotte has been crazy, I am thankful for so many things here. Somewhat consistent exercise has been glorious- even when I am jogging in frosty air that makes my thighs burn and nose run. I always feel OK about what the day has to offer when I have spent some energy in the morning. Today I took the most refreshing walk, wanting to make the most of these sunny days that have been sadly absent since the weather has turned cool. I find it much easier to think about other things when I'm walking, as opposed to jogging, in which every fiber of my being and mind is working to convince myself not to wuss out. So many bits of joy flashed through my mind as I walked and the gold leaves raining down around me when the wind blew was an extra special bonus. Natty and I went out for a stroll after lunch- she clutching a red leaf I had plucked off a tree and me verbalizing all those things I was thankful for that had been running through my mind earlier. I know Scotty is feeling a lot more pressure than I am these days- he's got several papers, tests and projects to finish before his classes end in the next few weeks, not to mention 1500+ pages to read from assigned books. I'm trying to spend a lot of time creating a space for him to concentrate on, which means taking Natty on errands with me. She's very familiar with Trader Joes and Wal-Mart and has visited several parks in south Charlotte. We discovered a nearby Big Lots yesterday which carried a decent car seat cheaper than I could find it anywhere else, including online. She makes friends wherever we go, usually by grinning sheepishly at them, or lately, by forcefully pointing and making a sharp yell/grunt sound at them. Whatever works, I suppose. She's in a really fun stage where she's got lots of energy (which has led her to finally drop her morning nap) and is learning so much. She's much steadier on her feet, although still not interested in walking. She loves to give kisses and her first words every morning are "Da-da" when she discovers him on the bed directly in front of her bedroom door. She loves playing with crayons and eats every half hour when awake.

I can practically feel the shortness of breath that is so familiar upon arriving to La Paz (or am I having a panic attack?)- our time of return is so soon. I see our last chunk here in several distinct, rapid phases: Thanksgiving trip to hang out with Scotty's parents in the smokeys; Scotty's last classes (i.e. late nights)/packing and organizing for me; drive back to Florida (via TN to drop off the borrowed vehicle); Christmas; last minute crazy shopping, packing, unpacking to scale down on stuff, repacking; tearful good-bye at the airport. And then the readjustment to La Paz. Will Natty do OK this time in the altitude? Will I remember how to speak Spanish? Will the strange place and strange language scare my baby? Will our house be in good order when we arrive? Will our cats remember us? Will I be truly happy to be back? I'm not worried about these things and yet, they are genuine questions that pass through my brain from time to time. I guess we'll have to wait to find out!

I am still blogging.

Scotty sharing at Bethlehem Baptist in Minneapolis

No, I haven't given up on blogging to only "facebook". I much prefer the blogosphere but I just haven't had a lot of time lately...or anything interesting to say. I'm not sure that I do right now, but I thought it was past time for a new update. We've been busy. As soon as we moved into our cozy basement at Mike's house in Charlotte, our lives suddenly sped up a few notches. We are trying to see all our friends and supporters here, but until now, haven't been in town long enough to make much of a dent in those plans. We had a wonderful SIM retreat a few weeks ago- moving into the guest accomodations on the SIM campus and spending every day in meetings or rest time where we actually had all freedom to read, sleep, meditate on scripture, pray, eat, walk, whatever! It was glorious and surprisingly difficult to remember how to be still. One of the main points of the retreat was to remind us how to find rest and incorporate it into our daily lives...most people have a hard time doing that, but missionaries seem to be the worst sometimes. We did have this amazing time learning from the other couples and singles that were a part of our week- all of them on the field for 20+ years. There was a lot of gleaning to do from these people that have so commited their lives to foreign service. My mom was awesome and flew in to hang out with Natty during the day so we could be all there and not worry about her. She learned to say "Nana" that week- very cute. We went straight from SIM onto a plane headed to Minneapolis. It snowed the first day we were there- all day. I was so not ready for that. We had some lovely interactions with friends, supporters and Scotty's home church and loved "doing life" with the family we stayed with while we were there. However, we are thrilled to be back in one spot for a while.

Natty is advancing so quickly now. She began crawling a few days before her birthday and is a pro. She seems to understand so much and is trying to imitate the words you say. She's just started pulling up a little but gets pretty angry at the fact that she doesn't know how to sit once she standing. She loves stuffed animals. She's been super flexible on our trips and we are having so much fun with her!

So, there is really only a little over 2 months left until we leave. This is a very short amount of time and it's hitting pretty hard right now. It's hard to describe what it's like to live in one world, but know you have another life waiting for you in another. We've spent the last 5 months enjoying all that the US has to offer, enjoying old friends, enjoying family, enjoying church in English. Although we are in no way planted here, we are comfortable here. I am comfortable- with clean houses, carpet, central heat and air, big grocery stores, parks, dogs on leashes, reliable plumbing, libraries, friends that understand me. I'm a little apprehensive about re-entry and all the things I know so well are stressors for me. And yet, I have no doubts of God's call on us. So, even though God has blessed us in this time home and I am thankful for His generosity and kindness, there is another type of life He has asked us to live and I want to live it joyfully.

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Natalie has one year.

Literally translated from Spanish, "Natalie has one year" is how our Bolivian friends would say she is one today! If we were in La Paz, we would be throwing a big party, inviting every small child we see on the street, hiring a clown, serving hot dogs and smashing Natty's face in a cake...although I'd like to leave that particular tradition out of my own birthday celebrations. Since we are not there, we are having a more low-key day. I woke Natty up with "Happy Birthday" while she stared at me from her crib, enjoyed her last nursing session, and then opened birthday presents on the bed with Daddy. She enjoyed looking at the new stuff- almost completely handed down from other friends (who needs new?) and helping me unwrap the special monkey we bought for our own precious monkey. I read my first journal entry after she was born, highlighting the ups and downs of labor, my first thoughts as I held her, and the beginnings of a lot of doubts and joy too. I gave her banana- fitting for a monkey and also her favorite fruit- and we played on the floor with new toys. I'll be making a cake this weekend when our parents come in to celebrate, so today, we'll go to Krispy Kreme for Natty to be introduced to the soft, flaky manna that is a Hot Donut Now...it's a bit of a celebration for Mom too. Then, Scotty has surprised me by making arrangements for us to go out on our first date in a long time for dinner- sans Natty!

This last year has been indescribable. So, instead, I'll describe my baby girl. She is full of wonder and constant observation of everything and everyone around her. You can see in her eyes as she carefully watches your mouth and your movements that she is tucking it all away to be

reproduced by herself in the near future. She is not quick to giggle but will often give a very satisfied grin when she sees her parents or a toy that she is particularly attached to. Her daddy can get some "chortles", as he calls them, out of her and her whole face lights up. She is laid back and flexible during long car trips and time zone changes and loves to watch other kids play. She is sweet and sometimes shy and will wave and say "ba ba" to almost anything- including the toys she throws from her car seat. She has taught us a new level of love and a new recognition of our desperate need to depend on the Lord for wisdom an

d patience. She is so much more than we prayed for. Happy Birthday, Natalie!

Back in Charlotte

Well, it's a bit surreal, but we're back in Charlotte. We spent the first year of our marriage in this beautiful city and have somewhat idylic memories of our time here. The home whose basement we are occupying is in a cute, older neighborhood close to all the areas where homes are being renovated and remodeled- the kind of homes we dream of owning. I think Charlotte, unlike any other city, tempts us to return from the mission field and grow a nice family here where there is Trader Joes and IKEA and parks and seasons. But, our love for Bolivia and the strong call God has on our lives will lead us back when the time is right.

So, we are busy doing the "settle in" thing and I got a jump start to our first day by hitting Aldi. If you don't know about Aldi, it's a discount grocery store that saves money by not having the standard display shelving, but just keeps their stuff in the cardboard boxes it came in. You pack your own groceries to take home in those same cardboard boxes- no plastic bags. It's simple and pure and I have no idea where the stuff comes from, cause only 11% are recognized brands, but I love it. However, they do not accept plastic. This is a detail I had impressed somewhere in the less-used regions of my brain, and happily cruised to the store with the hope that my Visa would do the trick. As I'm filling my cart and loving this first major grocery trip we've taken since returning (thank you Parents for buying all our groceries), an old friend calls. We met her and her husband at our SIM training close to 4 years ago and parted ways after that- them to Africa, us to Bolivia. We are back at the same time and thrilled to be reconnecting. So Jen calls, I happen to mention I'm at Aldi, she throws out that it's a bummer they don't take credit cards. What?! So, it's true? I look at the mountain of generic, cheap groceries that are about to topple over the edge of my cart and wonder how foolish I will look trying to unpack them onto the shelves. However, God had a plan for that phone call and Jen offers to drive over to bring me some cash. Awesome. That works out great, I meet their new son, we make plans for them to come over to our place...perfect.

So, something else that isn't as cool and is just more weird happened today while we were out. While Scotty is getting Natty buckled into the carseat, I trot over to a Thai restaraunt that is next to the store we were just in, hoping to find a take-out menu. I'm looking at the front door to find out the hours when I hear a man's voice behind me say, "Are you Lisa?" Yes, I say. He says, "Hi! I'm Matt." Oh, Matt! (Was I supposed to meet this guy here and I forgot? Is he someone from our church in town that I never met but recognizes me from our prayer card??)What was your last name again? "It looks like we're a bit early to the restaraunt- I'm pretty sure it doesn't open for another 15 mins", he mentions. Click. I think he must be on a blind date. Oh! So you were meeting a Lisa here? I ask- somewhat embarassed by the fact that when he told me his name, I acted like I knew him. "Oh" he says looking confused. "You must be a Lisa also..." What are the odds??? I tell him I am, that I was not here to meet a Matt, and I hope his dinner is nice. Walk quickly away and jump into the van and try not to look over to where he's standing. Has anything so random and strange ever happened to you?