Happy New Year!

Starting the new year with a smile.

Holiday fun

Christmas seemed to sneak up on us this year. Probably because we got home on the 11th of Decmeber and then spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything in order and the house put together after unpacking the loads of stuff we brought back from the states (mostly for Natty!). We also had a Christmas program at church the Sunday before and sadly, the wake and funeral of the grandmother of our good friend Jimena to attend. The neat thing is to see how Natalie really opens up paths into peoples lives. As we walked into the wake (which is basically where all the friends and relatives of the deceased sit around the casket and wait for people to come and grieve with them), there were many people looking very sad with eyes red from crying. But, as soon as Natalie came in the room, the old ladies brightened up and out came the smiles and the hands to hold her. I'm often not asked if a person can hold the baby, she's just taken from my arms and I have to let go. One of the older aunts of our friend took her from me and paraded her around the room, getting everyone smiling and cooing- a nice break from the time of mourning they were going through.

Christmas morning was relaxing. Natalie got up fairly early to eat and then we all sat on the bed to open stockings. I hadn't planned on getting anything for her, since she received so many gifts back home. But, Scotty surprised me by buying this fun, squishy lobster (that's about her size) that we had seen in a store that she just loved. She always lights up when she sees his big claws flailing. We had also decided to keep things simple this year, seeing as though we had bought plenty for ourselves when we were home. We're also hoping to establish customs at Christmastime that keep our children focused on Christ's birth and life and not go overboard with presents. We had a nice walk around the neigborhood after breakfast. Christmas breakfast in my family has always been cinnamon rolls. Well, as a new, often tired mommy, I didn't want to go through the process of trying to make them. So, we happend upon cinnamon roll flavored pop-tarts in the grocery store and sprang for the somewhat expensive imported treat instead. Then it was off to the Hursts for the afternoon and a scrumptious meal with some of our missionary colleagues and friends.

The night before, Christmas Eve, is actually the big holiday here and we have started the tradition (a year ago) of eating picana, a meaty soup, with our good Bolivian friends the Ramirez family. Ericka brought over all the fixins and prepared the soup at our house while Hugo and their 2 sons played Settlers of Catan with Scotty. It was a neat night of sharing, playing, laughing, eating lots, and having a little devotional at the end to remind us of what Christmas is all about. How we love that family!

Things are always very slow around the holidays, but we're hoping to have at least one family over each week from the church to try to get to know people better and share lives. There are many people hurting at this time because of deaths in the family or illness and we remember how Christ came to heal and love the hurting and want to be ministers of this grace too.

$60 treasures

This might be a fairly random post, but I haven't done random for a while... So, normally it is very cheap to live in Bolivia. A bus fare to a city 8 hours away costs $4. A large meal in a high end restaraunt will run you about $7. But, then there are other items that can only be imported from other countries, usually the states, Brazil or Chile, that cost significantly more than you would pay back home. Cars, for example, can be outrageously priced because they all have to be brought in from other countries. Then, if your vehicle is anything other than a Toyota or Nissan, you pay like crazy for replacement parts. Basic houseware items like plastic storage bins, trash cans, rugs, etc... that you could pick up at Wal-Mart (and find a plethora of all in the same place) for cheap, cost more than a month of groceries. We've been searching for a new trashcan for the kitchen for months, not willing to pay the $40 that most places were asking for the same, poorly made, small, plastic can that we had bought the first time, which broke quickly. Today, as we were grocery shopping, a shiny new can presented itself at the end of one of the rows. I think Scotty must have seen a sunbeam shining down on it and heard angels singing. I just saw the price tag of $399 Bolivianos and said, "how can we pay almost $60 for a trash can?!" Scotty presented what seemed to be a rehearsed speech about how perfect this beauty would be in our kitchen and for all time and I realized that we had searched high and low and were destined to pay the price. So, I stuck it in the cart. I've got it pictured here with one of our favorite treasures that we just picked up in the states- a stainless steel french press that cost about the same. We've broken about 4 glass ones in the last year, so we were ready to splurge and this one was actually significantly less money than all the others of the same size that we had found online. Anyway, there you have it...sometimes you have to suck it up and pay more than you know you could find something for at Wal-mart.

Another random event that happened to me as I was driving home yesterday. I found myself following an old, beat-up pick-up truck with 2 cows standing in the bed. Large cows with udders swinging right in my line of sight. The man had tied a rope behind their rumps, as if that would stop them from tumbling out the back if he had to stand on the brakes. It was pretty funny to watch them sway back and forth as he drove over speed bumps and almost loose their footing when he changed lanes too quickly. Then there was the herd of llamas that rounded the corner onto the major road we were taking home this afternoon...

Now that we have a baby, going out on the town is a big event for us. The other night we met up with some of the international school teachers for Mexican food. Natalie had been fussy all day and I was a bit nervous about how she was going to do. As soon as we got there, she became mesmerized by the TV, which was showing awesome '80's videos. She was quiet and content for a while, had some dinner herself, and then sacked out in her carseat. On the way home, I got a hankerin' for ice cream- the kind with chunks in it- which is uncommon here. Thankfully, a new ice cream place opened up this past year that has some mix in options. They are an open air venue with no seating, so we ordered our cream and sat in the car chatting and watching the people walk by. I told Scotty that it was a real treat to do things like that, which never seemed too exciting before, now that we have a baby. I like being able to enjoy more the simple pleasures of life.

New day

Happy baby with color in her cheeks.

I so appreciate the encouraging words and prayers of so many of you regarding my last blog. As I expected, I woke up feeling much more hopeful about the whole situation with Natalie, although I still get a little concerned if she starts to cry without a good reason- that's what she did when she wasn't getting enough oxygen. But, even though her breathing seemed a bit delayed last night, she showed no signs of struggling or lack of air throughout her sleep- and she slept a normal night, which she didn't do on the first night of being in a "new" place during our travels. She has been herself today and has retained almost her normal amount of rosiness and given us lots of smiles. I have to thank God that she has recovered quickly and hasn't needed the oxygen after mid-day yesterday. I'm thankful for all our friends, and even those who don't know us well, bringing our needs before our good Father. I am always reminded when seeing my baby struggling, whether it's with big things or little, that God knows to a so-much-greater degree the hardship of watching His child in pain. I know that He has ordained each of Natalie's days and loves her more than me. I continue to ask for faith and trust, even though I know these things, so that the knowledge will pervade my thoughts and emotions and change the way I view the events of my life.

Fear or Faith

Many of you have commented on how you enjoy my honesty on the blog- my thoughts and struggles as a woman of God, a wife, a mother, a missionary. Well, today has been a rough day and I feel like sharing. We boared the plane late last night to make our overnight return trip to Bolivia. We were excited to be going back to what has become home and reconnect with friends here. Natty did awesome on the trip- sleeping the whole night and having to be woken up to eat. I started to become a little nervous as we neared La Paz, knowing that not only do a lot of adults, but several babies I know have had a really hard time entering into the altitude. We had our friend Tim, who was driving our truck up to get us, have an oxygen tank on hand, just in case. As soon as we unloaded from the plane, Natty started getting quieter and quieter. Then she started whimpering and getting pale. I told Scotty I didn't think she was doing too well. I kept my hand over her chest, wanting to feel the reassuring rise and fall of breathing normally. Too many times I didn't feel the rising that I was hoping for and would call her name and try and get her to respond. By the time we finally asked a police man to let me through customs to head toward the medical room, I was panicking. Natalie was pale, limp, and had blue around her eyes and lips. I was pleading with the Lord and trying to stay calm at the same time. The doctor, or whatever he was, was very nice and immediately pulled out a large mask to hold close to Natalie's nose and she was soon coming back into alertness and regaining color. Again, I held back tears and tried not to think of what could have happened or might happen when we left the airport. We were able to stay until Scotty could find our luggage and get Tim in with our oxygen tank. We decided to head to the clinic where she was born, just to see what they would have us do. They watched her and kept her on oxygen for another 45 mins until her blood/oxygen saturation level was good. They sent us on our way and told us what to watch for and to keep oxygen on her until noon. I can't even tell you the fears that were looming in my heart and mind the whole morning. We were exhausted from not sleeping much on an overnight flight, being affected ourselves by returning into altitude and not just a little stressed by what we just experienced. Although the medic in the airport was nice, I got the overall feeling he wasn't sure how to deal with babies or what level of oxygen to give them. He was trying to send me on my way and I asked if we could stay longer. He then turned down the oxygen and Natty started crying and turning blue again. The people in the hospital are always somewhat helpful, but the equipment looks quite outdated and often doesn't give good readings. I must admit, I have a hard time trusting doctors in this country. So, here I am, a new mom going through a range of emotions. I begin to wonder what would happen if something even more drastic were to occur to Natalie- would she get adequate care? Am I putting my baby in danger by living here? Is this what God wants for us? Can I really raise a family in an enviornment that is so dangerous? Added to this was the news that our good friends just returned on an emergency visit to the states because they found a serious heart problem in their baby- and it could possibly be altitude related! What an overwhelming day it's been...never has transition back to Bolivia been so hard, never have I wanted so badly to get back on the plane and go back to where it's "safe" and where my family is. Although I can't honestly say I'm totally at peace with what's happened, I do see how God is going to really stretch my faith now that we have a baby. I will have to choose whether I'm going to live in fear of what could happen or live in faith, knowing that the Lord is in control, even when hard things happen. I'm still feeling tired and a little overwhelmed and not ready to leap back in to life as we know it. I know I will sleep fitfully tonight, wondering if my little girl is still breathing. But, I also know and trust that God's mercies will be new and fresh in the morning. I hope in that.

Last Day

Well, today is our last full day in the states. Tomorrow we board a plane with more than twice what we came here with, and head back to Bolivia. The time here has been great- very full. We've spent a lot of good time with family, playing games, sharing meals, playing with the baby. It's been neat to see how she has changed even in this little amount of time and cool to share that with the grandparents. She's grown so much and although she has no more of a routine, eats more frequently during the day (I seem to be doing this as well), and generally remains unpredictable from day to day, I feel like God has given me the ability to relax and take each day as it comes and not expect certain things of an infant that she really can't fulfill. It's definitely not worth the stress that I can often conjure from wanting her to fit into a specific mold according to what the baby experts say. I am just thankful she is getting enough rest, enough to eat and is healthy and happy! Plus, I realize we have yet another transition to weather as we return to life in Bolivia and know that will shake things up too.

It's always a little surreal to leave this shiny, sparkly country and return to the impoverished city of El Alto where the airport is located. The initial shock wears off as we wind our way down into the city and eventually stop in the neighborhood where we live, which has its share of nice homes and wealth. And yet, I think we need to be reminded as we return from this place where we have been so abundantly blessed that there are so many more people that have not even the dream of things we take for granted. We were challenged in many ways on this trip, as I expected, with the temptation to want "stuff" just cause it looks cool and we can't buy it back in La Paz. I've struggled with wanting new clothes just so I can look fashionable, even though those fashions will change again next year. It's a mental and spiritual struggle to keep my eyes focused on the eternal things and on how God is using us and will use us in the future- based solely on our faith in Him and not in how nice our things are. We're excited to go back and see our friends, get our baby back into her "normal" surroundings and see what God has prepared for us.