Bricks and disappointment.

Scotty and I decided to take a morning off from visiting Moses in order to check out some brick we might use for our house.  We took Jubi along and drove up to El Alto after dropping Natty off at school.  We picked up a guy who is working for us on the house so he could direct us where to go and then weaved around the mostly dirt roads, heavily-laden with cargo trucks, trying to find the brick factory.  When I say "brick factory", I mean a place out in the middle of nowhere that is usually set on the edge or side of some mountain and has a large brick oven and a few hard-working men and women.  The finished and unfinished bricks lie around in mountains by the sides of the road, waiting to be hauled away or cooked.  This has been my experience with brick factory here.  This was no exception and as we drove down the bumpy dirt road, we were impressed by the view from this 13,000 ft. plateau, surrounded by 360 degrees of Andean, snow-capped mountains.  After chatting with a guy who swore he could make the type of brick we were looking for, we meandered back more or less the way we came, trying a few different back roads to see if they'd get us to where we needed to go.  One of these roads had a wall with a clearly painted message stating, "Suspicious cars will be burned." and "Thieves will be burned alive."  Yes, this happens.  After these lovely warnings, I get a phone call from my lawyer.  I've been anxiously trying to get in touch with her but my calls and messages were being ignored.  She told me what I partly suspected, that we won't be able to get a hearing this week.  The rest of the trip back home, I rode in silence.  It's physically and mentally exhausting to be let down so many times.  I want so badly to take that kind of news in stride, but I also want so badly for our son to come home.  Those two desires war within me and I'm afraid for a little while, the second wins out and I am in despair.  More quickly than before, I am able to feel peace again and so I know all of the trials of this journey have not been in vain.  Surely God is refining me and obviously there is more yuck to burn away in my soul.  I'm glad that we are able to be with Moses, even though it's in the orphanage.  For so many months now, I've had mental deadlines- like, by the time this happens, we'll have Moses home with us.  When that date or event goes by, I set a new deadline.  I've lost track of how many times I've reset my mental schedule.  I hope that next week will prove to be the real schedule and that crib set up in the corner of my room won't be empty any longer.