Life

Today has been nice. Natalie hasn't been sleeping so well, which isn't nice, but because I'm a morning person, I can usually shake off a poor nights sleep when I get up in the morning (strong coffee helps too). I took Natty to the grocery store, our favorite place to browse and say "hi" to all the strangers that coo over her. Scotty came home from school stuff around lunch and we enjoyed some time together, deciding to take Natalie out to the valley of the moon in the afternoon. Valley of the moon is a little tourist spot down the road from our house that is basically rock/sand formations that look like the surface of the moon. It's quite unique and a good walk up and down stairs to check it all out. It's only $.50 if you have a Bolivian ID card, so I think I might make it a frequent walk with Natalie since the routine walk around the neighborhood is starting to bore us a bit. It was fun to have that time with Scotty since we are expecting visitors tomorrow and then I leave on Friday for the weekend. I'm really pumped to be going to a ladies retreat in Cochabamba, but somewhat nervous about having Natty all to myself for the weekend for the first time. As I mentioned earlier, she seems to be going through a rough spot with her night sleeping- initially wailing hard for a long time, seemingly in pain. Then, last night, just crying off and on for an hour and half, not in pain. What's going on? You can never pinpoint some issues with babies, but I can pinpoint how it makes me sin. I actually have been known to get angry at her, never lashing out or doing anything to harm her...but waking up angry when I hear those cries. And then, I tend to take it out on Scotty, who can't solve her problems any better than I can. Then, I wake up in the morning to that adorable, smiling face and realize that it wasn't the end of the world and that very soon that little girl is going to be acutely aware of her mommy's atitude problems and react to her own troubles in the same way she sees me doing. Oh, how wonderful and hard it is to be confronted with your own sin as you interact with your child. A friend with a 7 month old just blogged on this same thing- it is good to know I am not the only one dealing with this. But, how I long to put aside my schedule, my sleep, my self and serve my baby in her times of need, with joy that God has given me such a precious gift. I say I love my daughter, but do I live out that love at all times as the Bible teaches us what love is- patient, kind, etc...? So many life lessons God has to teach me through that little girl!