My kind of morning.

We had one of those mornings that fits somewhere perfectly into a Hallmark greeting card or Sunday night special family movie.  It was in the low '80's and partly sunny with lots of wind and those great big clouds that practically fly by the higher ones that are like stretched out wisps of cotton.  I was busy washing myself or feeding the baby or changing the baby or brushing my teeth or some other endless activity so I asked Natty to ask Daddy to play for a bit.  I felt bad putting her off AGAIN to do something with Jubilee.  Having extra family members constantly around has been an amazing blessing but one that has not helped Natty realize that the world doesn't revolve around her.  Natty wanted to play chalk and in some supernatural lining up of the moon, stars and planets, Scotty and Natty were ready to go out and "do chalk" when Jubilee was fed and sleeping.  So, we all trucked outside with J in her car seat (we need a bouncy seat or something!) and started to play.  Scotty took his shirt off, which made Natty take her shirt off, which made me take my shirt off.

Don't worry, I had a sad looking, white nursing top with breast milk stains on it underneath.  I looked around to make sure that no neighbors were close enough to notice the stains, even though you couldn't miss my 5 month pregnant belly that was only cute when there was a baby in there.  Natty started running around in circles screaming "I'm naked!" and then her and Scotty continued to run wildly around the back yard.  My parents live on about an acre, but part of that land is a shared space with a bunch of other neighbors- a retention pond that rarely fills up.  It makes an awesome green space for running, hitting golf balls, flying kites and being an outdoor stage for the Miser antics.  I'm sure we were breaking any number of HOA rules and other PC code of conduct by letting our 3 year old run around topless.  I didn't care at the moment.  The clouds were rolling by, the wind was blowing, my newborn was sleeping peacefully in her car seat and my amazing husband was taking time to be with his family.  I couldn't help but think about Zion.  I knew there would be a mix of emotions and memories as we welcomed this new member into our family and it has happened here and there and usually when I don't expect it.  This morning I was very aware of his absence and as I spend time snuggling with, smelling, nursing and caring for a precious baby daughter, I am too aware of missing out on all that with my son.  Mixed with the pain is a constant realization that he is even more content than I could ever make Jubilee or him in my arms, but I still miss him.  But, as I watched my funny little girl and my sweet little newborn this morning, I was reminded to be thankful.  And, when I heard Natty cooing to Scotty as he put her down for a nap, "I love my family!", I know it is all worth it.