Post-cerclage, Part 1

I'm sitting in the hospital bed with the constant banging of construction outside of my window. But, I am comfy (although quite hungry) and have a TV and wi-fi so it doesn't get much better than this if you have to be in the clinic. The procedure was a bit rough, a bit scary, but went fine as far as I'm aware. My doctor only commented to me that my cervix is quite short and I'm really going to need to take it easy. When I find out what that means, exactly, it will probably be reported in part 2 of this post. For now, I am scanning back through a biography I just read the other day when I was stuck in the blockades on Horatio Spafford who wrote the hymn, It is Well With My Soul. This hymn has impacted me more in the last year than ever before, as I resonate with this man's choice to believe God is good and loving in the face of severe suffering. My loss is nothing compared with the 5 children he lost and other persecutions he faced (from the Christian community, no less!). But, we have shared the same sadness, the same questions, the same process of coming to trust again in the Lord's complete control and loving kindness in our lives. I have sang the words of that song to myself many times, desiring to bring my soul again to a place of rest and faith when things are scary and out of my control. Like right now... The surgery is over but the fear that I will bleed and lose the baby or have to be on bed rest for 6 months and not be able to get out and enjoy the glories of the US that I love so much (nice parks, libraries, church!) threaten to get a hold of my mind and bring me to a dark place. So, as I have done almost every day of this pregnancy so far, I fight to control my thoughts and think on whatever is true and lovely and noble, realizing overall is the perfect plan of God that can not be thwarted. I am grateful for friends here that are willing to do anything for me, for neighbors who worry excessively (a bit too much at times) about me and offer to do anything they can, including coming to our apartment at 6:30 this morning to stay with Natty while we came to the hospital. Once again, I see God's hand in surrounding us with this amazing community that we too often fail to appreciate enough until we become dependent on them. So, thanks again for praying, and I'll keep you updated!