Tweaking.

Just cause they're so cute.

Well, we're almost 3 weeks in and I still feel like the adjustment needs some more tweaking.  Bolivia feels comfortable and familiar- there's not a whole lot there to get used to.  But, my life is looking so much different than it did.  I told a friend the other day that I've been able to get so little done because my house-helper hasn't been here since we've been back.  I know, I know!  It sounds pathetic.  But, I stress again how much longer and more difficult normal, everyday tasks can be to accomplish here.  Plus, it is winter and there are a lot of nasty viruses going around and I just don't want to expose Jubilee to much of that.  She is already on cold #2 since arriving and so I am keeping her mainly in the house.  This brings me to my main beef in this blog.  The whole ministry of mothering is beautiful and wonderful, but I think I'm starting to see the mundaneness it can carry as well.  I had to miss our first SIM team meeting on Friday because Jubilee was starting to get sick and Natty had pink eye.  It was going to be our first time with our beloved team, some of whom I have yet to see.  Scotty went, of course, cause that's something daddies often get to do when mommies are hanging out with sick babies. (Yes, maybe I was whining a bit about this at the moment)  Then, Jubilee's cold turned full blown and so I am inside again, not able to get out even for a walk with the girls.  During the light, not so freezing hours of the day, Jubilee is either sleeping or I am making meals.  There just isn't much time in the morning or afternoon for getting out with them.  I haven't managed to get out of the house early enough to return to lap swimming because Jubilee is having us up quite a bit at night and I'm so tired by the time morning rolls around.  So, I say all this not to sound as complainy as this probably sounds- but just to say that the rose-colored glasses have fallen off.  Being a mommy is awesome and sweet and I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying my daughters.  I just about spontaneously combust when I look at Jubilee (she's a very happy baby).  However, the responsibility limits other things.  Things that I enjoy. Things that I'm used to.  Also, we had our pastor and his wife over last night for a few hours and I was talking with Becky about having little kids and how that affects ministry.  Even though we are well aware of the God-given task of mothering and its priority in our lives, that doesn't make the necessities (great necessities) in the church disappear.  What do we do with those?  It's not fair to just drop them in the laps of other mommies who have older kids.  But, there's only so much we can do...how do you balance it all?

So, I continue to be perplexed and blessed and sometimes nervous.  I fight wanting to sleep and wanting to be buff, and feel like those are sometimes mutually exclusive.  I want to lovingly shepherd my children and protect them, but want to be a part of things where people with cold germs might be.  This all might sound a bit ridiculous and probably is compared to a lot of peoples' problems- but, I wrestle with it because it is my lot right now and the Lord is asking me to honor Him in it.

If you feel like praying, pray for Jubilee's visa.  Scotty is into week #2 of daily visits to all sorts of government offices in order to get the required paperwork.  This is old hat for him, except for a few unique things pertaining to babies, but it is still very time-consuming.  At some point, we have to take her to a large government hospital to get a health-check (no, she can't just go to her own pediatrician), and I'm afraid of even taking her into such a germy place to be handled by a random doctor that maybe didn't wash his or her hands after coming into work that morning (are you seeing a slight paranoia here?).  But, she does need a TB shot, so I suppose we could get that done, too.  Did you know I couldn't find the first place in the US that would give my daughter a TB shot?  So, thanks for praying.  I'll report back with great rejoicing when that's done.