And then...we stayed home some more.

Puzzles!

I guess it's time I join the blogosphere again.  Shortly after my last post, Moses got really sick.  For almost two weeks he had a high fever day and night.  Higher than any of my children have ever had before.  It scared the crap out of me.  In a normal world, I would have taken him to a doctor and gotten some professional feedback.  We would have eventually taken blood samples when the fever didn't abate.  I would have felt like someone who knew something was on top of this situation. Instead, I struggled for days on end with the unknown.  I wondered if I should be doing something more to protect myself, Scotty and the girls in case it was covid-19.  But, how do you care for a 5 year old who needs his parents desperately without actually being around him?  I wondered what would happen if he started showing other frightening signs of being dangerously sick when there were no private doctors that could or would see him.  What would the risk of going to a hospital look like where possibly sicker people are and all the doctors/beds are maxed out?  Would we get in trouble driving there when they are cracking down on anyone driving cars?  As I started to run out of fever reducing meds, I wondered if I'd be able to get any more.  Any number of things went through my head most of the day and into some nights as well.  I don't remember ever feeling so anxious. There were bright moments when the Lord would graciously remind me that He is trust-worthy, no matter what He allows into our lives.  We prayed like crazy and many of you did too- thank you for that!  Per my doctor's orders, we called the 800-line to get a covid test.  I spoke with a woman on the phone who whispered hurriedly to me that she was in a meeting and asked if I could send her our info...they would try to come out (yay for not going to the public hospital!), but their teams were booked and busy and there just weren't enough people.  So, I hung up wondering if it would happen.  Meanwhile, I got in touch with a nurse friend I trust who recommended not having Mo tested because it would expose him to others who had possibly been around the virus.  In his weakened state, it would not be a good idea.  However, the team showed up on our doorstep that day and we flat-out refused to open the door for them, calling down to the street over our wall that we didn't feel comfortable going through with the procedure.  I felt terrible, knowing that a lot of people were needing this service and recognizing that they had responded so quickly to take the swab.  They pressed us and after a panicked wrestling over what to do, we decided to go through with it.  We did it outside, on the street, and as quickly as possible.  They told us they would contact us in 3-4 days and only if the results were positive.  That seemed like an eternity!  I wrote a request for prayer to send out to our prayer army (over 400 people!) and they prayed and encouraged us with many emails.  God answered and the next day (!!) we got a call saying that his test results were negative.  Oh, the relief!  In the end, I'm so grateful we went through with the test because just knowing what it wasn't was helpful.

Today, Mo has been fever-free for 3 days, and he's slowly regaining his normal energy levels.  You know when you're going through something awful and you think once it's over you'll be so grateful that nothing will seem too hard to deal with?  Yeah...I thought that, too.  But, it's still hard.  Having Moses mostly healthy is something I am incredibly grateful for.  But, there is still this weight that sometimes settles on me or on our entire household.  The continual lesson of realizing I really have no control over life can be tiring.  Even finding the words right now to describe what I'm feeling is a bit beyond me.  I know you get it.  There's this messy muddle of fear, joy, submission, nearness to God, repentance, boredom, purpose and everything in between.  I'm more thankful now for the community the Lord has put around us, near and far, than ever before.  The ways we have to connect are not the same, but they are special.  And, slowing down has been so good.  My newfound realization that I can only handle one day at a time has made life bearable.  I treasure the time with my kids and husband.

Supermoon!

Captive birthday.

Quarantine trims.

So, that's a bit where I am right now.  We've completed four weeks of strict quarantine.  For us, that looks like no driving anywhere.  One adult at a time is allowed out of the house, once a week from 7am-12pm, coinciding with your I.D. number.  Wherever you can walk to find food is the only option you have.  Although we haven't gotten any deliveries yet, we have teamed up with neighbors to get some random food products delivered to our neighborhood....still waiting for those to come through.  Thankfully, we have small local shops that are open daily where we can get eggs and milk.  These are strange days.

Health!!

Dying eggs.

Obligatory homemade mask picture.