The one where we went to Tennessee.

Well, I promised to write if something interesting happened and it did!!

We got on a plane and flew to the United States!! With as bad as things have gotten in Bolivia and coronavirus, I never thought I would.  However, our prayer had been that if the Lord wanted to take us to the states for a time, He would make a way.  And, He sure did!  Our supporting church in Crossville, TN generously offered us a home next to the church, an anonymous Christian car dealership owner offered us a car and a whole bunch of people pitched in to outfit that home with furniture, tables, lamps, dishes, and everything we could possibly want or need.  Then, when it looked like blockades might keep us from making it to the airport (again??  What's up with this year and our stressful attempts to leave Bolivia?!), a truckload of people prayed the way open for us.  

So, we are here in lush, green, warm, beautiful central Tennessee.  It all happened rather fast, but it was so clear to us that our kind Father had provided this special gift for us.  Not only will we be in a place that is more stable than our beloved Bolivia, but we will have the chance to spend more time around Scotty's parents than we have in our entire marriage!  Already we feel how the relative normalcy has helped relieve the high tension we've been experiencing since La Paz shut down in March.  We've seen people outside of our family and had the true privilege of joining, in the flesh, a body of Christ in worship today.  We've taken the kids swimming in a lake, hiked through the woods, gone to Walmart and biked in the church parking lot. 

These might seem like small treats, but after almost half a year cooped up at home, these are precious times for us.  And, are ready for this??  I HAVE A DISHWASHER!  Can you feel the excitement? Household duties are so much simpler here.  That leaves me time to enjoy my family and my surroundings in a way I haven't been free to in a long time.

We aren't usually excited about fast food when we come here, but we let loose a little...for the sake of the kids, you know.  

Today, we set up our "homeschool" table where the kids will begin a new year of school- the first semester fully online.  And so, a new routine in a very new place begins.  We can't wait to see what the Lord has for us in this time.  He's taught us a new level of dependence on Him this year and solidified the truth in our hearts that He alone controls our future and His plans are good.  We know it won't all be roses and sunshine, but we know He's with us, He loves us.  And, we continue to pray for Bolivia- for the peace of the country and a president that will seek the good of the people.  We pray for the many, many people who are struggling with illness and loss of jobs.  We ask for His power to be at work and for His mercy to be alive in and through those who know Him.  We wait and watch.

In God's sovereignty, my sister-in-law and our nephew had a quick visit planned this week!

Where has the quarantine time gone?

With all that is going on in the world, it probably slipped by you that I haven't blogged in a while.  With all that is going on in the world, I haven't had the faintest idea what to say about it all.  What I thought was a temporary state of being has turned into something without an end in sight.  We finished up school under strict quarantine.  Natalie finished elementary school without the big celebration and ceremony she would have had if we were in session.  Moses finished his first year of pre-K and will be starting "full-time" school next year.  All three kids did excellent in their classes, despite the stress and boredom of never leaving the house, staring at a computer screen for way too long and trying to interact with classmates and teachers over Zoom.  Scotty trudged through online teaching- trying to keep himself focused while surrounded by his wife and three children and a myriad of other responsibilities all day long, while also trying to figure out how to engage his students and convince them that they did still need to turn in work if they wanted to pass his classes.  We got into a groove by June, but it was still a massive challenge for all of us. 

So, we're on school break!  And, we won't start back until several weeks later than we normally do, so we have more time!  But, Bolivia is still in quarantine.  A few weeks ago, the very strict quarantine I wrote about in my last blog let up and we were actually allowed out Monday-Friday and able to drive!  Wow!  Getting in a car and going into town where there are real shops was a treat.  But, not one that I did very often.  We were able to deal with a few health issues in that time and Moses got glasses and then they put us into a 3 day total lockdown where no one could be out on the street at any point.  Now, we're back in a pseudo-quarantine and the reports are that we won't hit our peak until September, but cases are out of control and hospital systems have totally collapsed.  Kids are still not allowed to leave the house unless of a medical issue.

So, this is not the vacation I was expecting.  Most of the other teachers at Highlands managed to get back to the U.S. (on repatriation flights, normal air travel is still completely shut down), but we are home.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little bit sorry for myself from time to time.  Although it's good to see my friends in the states starting to enjoy a little bit of "normal" again, the reality of being stuck here can feel heavy.  I'd love to take my kids on a road trip so that they could at least get out of the house for a bit, but we can't.  And, Highlands has (wisely) decided that school will be online at least until January 2021.  While this option feels safer to me than sending my kids to school during our covid peak, it also feels a bit overwhelming to know we can't really get out of the house much during our break and then will be back to all working from home every day for the rest of the year. 

So, Scotty has been helpful in encouraging me to trust that the Lord has us right where we should be and in the situation that He is in control of.  Although there is nothing exciting happening, we can enjoy this time together, take a slower pace and find contentment in the small things.  We are pressing into that and so very grateful that we are together and have our health.   We've seen a couple friends in the last week, outside, and keeping our distance. But, that's something, at least.  We're doing projects around the house and we got a new kitten to distract us.

 I'm still involved in the women's ministry through participating in Bible studies, leading a break out group (over Zoom) and doing a little teaching as well. 

So, that's us right now.  If anything interesting happens, I'll be sure to let you know.

And then...we stayed home some more.

Puzzles!

I guess it's time I join the blogosphere again.  Shortly after my last post, Moses got really sick.  For almost two weeks he had a high fever day and night.  Higher than any of my children have ever had before.  It scared the crap out of me.  In a normal world, I would have taken him to a doctor and gotten some professional feedback.  We would have eventually taken blood samples when the fever didn't abate.  I would have felt like someone who knew something was on top of this situation. Instead, I struggled for days on end with the unknown.  I wondered if I should be doing something more to protect myself, Scotty and the girls in case it was covid-19.  But, how do you care for a 5 year old who needs his parents desperately without actually being around him?  I wondered what would happen if he started showing other frightening signs of being dangerously sick when there were no private doctors that could or would see him.  What would the risk of going to a hospital look like where possibly sicker people are and all the doctors/beds are maxed out?  Would we get in trouble driving there when they are cracking down on anyone driving cars?  As I started to run out of fever reducing meds, I wondered if I'd be able to get any more.  Any number of things went through my head most of the day and into some nights as well.  I don't remember ever feeling so anxious. There were bright moments when the Lord would graciously remind me that He is trust-worthy, no matter what He allows into our lives.  We prayed like crazy and many of you did too- thank you for that!  Per my doctor's orders, we called the 800-line to get a covid test.  I spoke with a woman on the phone who whispered hurriedly to me that she was in a meeting and asked if I could send her our info...they would try to come out (yay for not going to the public hospital!), but their teams were booked and busy and there just weren't enough people.  So, I hung up wondering if it would happen.  Meanwhile, I got in touch with a nurse friend I trust who recommended not having Mo tested because it would expose him to others who had possibly been around the virus.  In his weakened state, it would not be a good idea.  However, the team showed up on our doorstep that day and we flat-out refused to open the door for them, calling down to the street over our wall that we didn't feel comfortable going through with the procedure.  I felt terrible, knowing that a lot of people were needing this service and recognizing that they had responded so quickly to take the swab.  They pressed us and after a panicked wrestling over what to do, we decided to go through with it.  We did it outside, on the street, and as quickly as possible.  They told us they would contact us in 3-4 days and only if the results were positive.  That seemed like an eternity!  I wrote a request for prayer to send out to our prayer army (over 400 people!) and they prayed and encouraged us with many emails.  God answered and the next day (!!) we got a call saying that his test results were negative.  Oh, the relief!  In the end, I'm so grateful we went through with the test because just knowing what it wasn't was helpful.

Today, Mo has been fever-free for 3 days, and he's slowly regaining his normal energy levels.  You know when you're going through something awful and you think once it's over you'll be so grateful that nothing will seem too hard to deal with?  Yeah...I thought that, too.  But, it's still hard.  Having Moses mostly healthy is something I am incredibly grateful for.  But, there is still this weight that sometimes settles on me or on our entire household.  The continual lesson of realizing I really have no control over life can be tiring.  Even finding the words right now to describe what I'm feeling is a bit beyond me.  I know you get it.  There's this messy muddle of fear, joy, submission, nearness to God, repentance, boredom, purpose and everything in between.  I'm more thankful now for the community the Lord has put around us, near and far, than ever before.  The ways we have to connect are not the same, but they are special.  And, slowing down has been so good.  My newfound realization that I can only handle one day at a time has made life bearable.  I treasure the time with my kids and husband.

Supermoon!

Captive birthday.

Quarantine trims.

So, that's a bit where I am right now.  We've completed four weeks of strict quarantine.  For us, that looks like no driving anywhere.  One adult at a time is allowed out of the house, once a week from 7am-12pm, coinciding with your I.D. number.  Wherever you can walk to find food is the only option you have.  Although we haven't gotten any deliveries yet, we have teamed up with neighbors to get some random food products delivered to our neighborhood....still waiting for those to come through.  Thankfully, we have small local shops that are open daily where we can get eggs and milk.  These are strange days.

Health!!

Dying eggs.

Obligatory homemade mask picture.

Happy Quarantine Day!

It's a lovely day to be an introvert.  I'm sorry if being inside your house is driving you insane....or, your kids being inside your house is driving you insane.  Obviously, it's not all roses and sunshine in my house every moment, but I have to say I'm not sad about being encouraged to stay at home and away from people.  Between homeschooling and cooking and cleaning, I'd say we have more than enough to keep us busy and I get to see more of my kids and husband!! 

Every morning, the rooster across the street crows as the day begins- isn't that quaint??  Scotty and I are still getting up before the kids to drink coffee and read our Bibles.  The routine for the morning looks pretty much the same as when the kids were going to school, except no one has to rush off and we can just jump right into school work after breakfast.  I've got them going on a half hour work, 20 minute play cycle and that seems to keep them focused for short bursts and playing hard for short bursts through the morning.  I throw some chores and baking in there and before you know it, the morning is done!  Then we all have a rest after lunch and finishing up homework after that.  It doesn't happen every day, but we try to work in a family devo time when we read God's word together, pray and do some sort of related activity.  Then, out for a short walk with the dogs and then dinner!  The kids are mainly rotating between jumping on the trampoline, playing soccer in the house and scootering.  It's working out pretty well!  Of course, I might be back here in a few days pulling my hair out cause our quiet and isolated life style is driving me nuts. 

Overall, I'm grateful for many things these days.  One, our health.  There's nothing like a pandemic to remind you what a gift strength and health are.  I'm grateful that we are in a position to be able to stay at home and work from home.  Scotty plugs away at online classes- posting material and grading assignments so that the academic year can move forward.  I know that the reality of not being able to continue working in the same way could quickly become a serious crisis for many around us.  And, even though the uncertainty and sickness tempts me to fear and anxiety, I'm thankful for the opportunity to deepen my dependence on the Lord.  I've always thought of myself as a pretty laid-back person, but I also see the way I desperately cling to my security, my world being nicely laid out and planned and running mostly according to my schedule.  I like to think I have control over what's going on in my life.  Times like these make it abundantly clear that my ability to orchestrate my life is really just a mirage.  At any moment, something can change and I see myself in this mirror of adversity and the depth of my faith (or lack thereof) shines back at me.  So, I go through this painful and wonderful process of surprise and repentance and submission to the Father, who gives grace abundant and leads me along His paths of truth and hope, even when it's through the valley.  I think the crisis we endured in November last year has better equipped me to handle this one.  Ultimately, the root of my own challenges grows out of the tough question, Do I believe that to live is Christ and to die is gain?

What are you doing in these unique days and what is God teaching you?

Oh, this again?

Our team from First Presbyterian Church, Crossville, TN.

On Sunday we wrapped up a week of having a fantastic team from our church in Crossville, TN here.  They spear-headed our Spiritual Emphasis Week at Highlands, sharing the word and lots of love with K4-12th grade.  We hosted our pastor and 2 of his teenage kids for the week and loved having them see what life looks like here for us.  They not only spent time at school, but each night had the chance to have dinner at a teacher's house and met our beloved church family as well.  Wouldn't you know it that before they even finished out the week at school, Coronavirus made its unwelcome arrival in Bolivia and the country immediately shut-down in order to prevent the spread.  So, without the chance to say good-bye to the kids, we were all informed that school would be immediately canceled until the end of March, per the president's instructions.  What to do??

Well, we rode the cable cars and tourist shopped till we dropped and ate delicious food and climbed a mountain and played games and ate some more.  It was so fun to see our Natty hanging out with the 4 teens in the group, being encouraged by the example of faith that brought each of them over the equator to serve.  Pastor Andy was on the schedule to preach Sunday and word came on Friday that they were cancelling the church service.  We planned on recording it Saturday to put on Facebook on Sunday, but then they changed their minds and decided to open the church doors on Sunday for the few who lived nearby and wanted to come.  Much commentary has been made about not participating in the usual cheek kiss as a greeting and I can't tell you how funny it feels to walk into a room of Bolivians and not great each one with a kiss on the cheek.  Standing at a distance and waving is a cold form of greeting that I have really gotten unaccustomed to.

Sunday evening I began printing off the homework and lessons for the kids that had been sent through our online classroom.  I pulled out the folders I had bought back in November when the country was in political turmoil and it wasn't safe to be in school.  This process felt all too familiar- online classroom, staying at home, stocking up on food and toilet paper (which, thankfully, has not become an issue here in La Paz like it apparently has in the U.S.).  The situation is different, but it honestly has brought up some of the same anxious thoughts and feelings.  Pastor Andy brought such a beautiful and comforting reminder Sunday morning of the expansiveness of God's grace and love for us.  His reminder of God's sometimes surprising faithfulness in light of our sinfulness was truly encouraging and just what I needed to focus my heart and mind.

So, we'll stay in our homes as much as possible like the majority of the world right now and see what God has in store.

Happy Thanksgiving

SIM team, plus us, the wanna-bes.

We celebrated Thanksgiving today.  Yes, Thanksgiving in February.  You see, we had this plan in place to have a Thanksgiving dinner with our old SIM team and then political crisis happened and we all fled the country.  We actually ran into all our team members at the airport as we shot off in different directions that November day, so it felt kinda special, but with an eerie fear surrounding it all and breath held until those planes left the ground.

So, now that we're all back, we decided it was time to give thanks!  Let me just say how incredibly grateful I am for this team.  One special family was missing tonight because they are on home assignment and one family has come in since we transferred missions, but they have also become dear friends.  Getting together with families who have a history in Bolivia and with us is nothing to sneeze at.  Many of these people have walked with us through miscarriage, through loss, through burn-out, through adoption, through house-building and all the challenges of living overseas in a different culture.  They have prayed with us, cried with us, laughed (a lot!) with us and given us wise and loving advice along the way.  There will always be a very treasured place in my heart for this community of people who are still here, faithfully living out the call God has put on each of their families.

We gathered together after church this morning and so began a time of beauty and richness with people who know us well.  The kids immediately went off to play, the young ones who are no longer kids but not quite adults (my eldest was a part of this group today!) sat down to play a rousing game of cards.  The adults got busy in the kitchen and busy running their mouths.  We ate delicious food and then we gathered to worship.  We read verses about the Lord fighting our battles, about being still while He does the work, about being our fortress and no enemy prevailing against us.  Each of us had a new and more concrete way of interpreting and appreciating these verses.  We sang worship in between Scripture and we shared testimonies of God's faithfulness during the turmoil in November.  All of us had stories of fearful escape- times when we weren't sure how the Lord would get us to the airport safely and all we could do was plead.  Some made it only minutes before transportation shut down.  Some made it walking with kids through violent mobs and praying.  We made it while riding nervously in a taxi in the wee hours of the morning, through stragglers armed with metal rods and whips, while praying.  Others were escorted by angels.  All of us felt unsafe in our homes but more connected to our neighbors.  Each of us saw the desperation of nonbelievers and their heart-felt cry that the Lord would reach out and rescue...despite not really knowing Him.  And each one of us felt the pride of a nation both on its knees and out in the streets to seek justice and democracy for the good of the next generation, and the present.  God spoke to every heart in a unique way during that time.  Despite the moments of terror, we all knew God was present and we've seen the way only He can bring beauty from ashes and redemption from deep sin. 

Kid's table.

After sharing, it was game time!  Man, woman and child participated in a loud and fast game of Bunko (renamed "Waliki", which means "good" in Aymara).  Then, we all ran out into the rain and drove off in our separate directions with full tummies and full hearts. 

Love your neighbor 101.

"Mr. Scotty is such a nice guy", she says while we watch our kids jump on the trampoline.  "I bet he doesn't even yell at you and hit you!" 

Me: "Uh, no, he sure doesn't."

Her, looking incredulous: "Never??"

Me: "Well, no, never.  Since we're Christians, we take seriously what the Bible says about loving one another, even when we're frustrated with each other."

She smiles and repeats that she thinks Scotty is just the best.  I agree and hope I might have other opportunities to share more with this neighbor of ours.  Earlier that day, I had taken the kids out for a walk- one last chance to hang out before school started up again.  I was feeling particularly convicted recently about how little we knew some of our neighbors, especially the ones that have lived on this street as long as we have.  I was also feeling troubled about the lack of progress Jubilee was making in picking up Spanish.  So, I began to pray about both of those things. 

As we arrived back to the house after our walk, a somewhat mangled looking rooster was prancing around in the road.  Our neighbor across the street, with whom we've had casual conversation over the years, was standing by her door watching him.  I asked what happened to him and she explained that he likes to fight and I wondered what sort of animal was able to pluck out his neck hair in that way.  She asked about our dogs and when her 7 year old daughter came out, I invited them both to come inside to see our 8, month-old puppies.  They agreed and the next thing I knew, our kids were playing like old friends and I was having the longest conversation I've had yet with this friendly neighbor.  After 20 minutes or so, she remembered that she needed to keep an eye on the chicken, so she told me just to send her daughter back over when we were ready.  In another hour or so, both our 7 year-olds had become besties.  If only adult relationships were so easy!

BFFs

After we said "good-bye", Jubilee begged for Stephanie to come back the next day or spend the night or have breakfast with us.  "I love her!" she gushed about her new friend. 

So, it seems that the Lord was pleased to answer my prayers, both for Jubi's Spanish (Stephanie does not speak English) and for better interactions with our neighbors!  Now, the real trick is to maintain contact with this mom, despite our vast differences.  To love her for who she is and engage with where she is in life.  Instead of seeing her as a project, to learn to really care for her.

Evacuation thoughts: Remembering

It is so nice to be home.  I love our house; I love our town; I love the habits and patterns we have here (I loooove routine).  But, it's been interesting how being in this place again has brought up memories from the chaos we left behind mid-November.

When we were out walking as a family a few days ago, Moses saw a group of people coming toward us down the road and said, "Oh, no!  What if they are Evo supporters?!"  (As a side note, we are working with our kids to recognize that we are all broken and in need of grace, no matter what political party we might support.  Prejudice is definitely something we'd like to steer clear of). Then, he came running in from the backyard yesterday and said, "Mommy- there are people up on the lookout!  I think they are spying on us!"  That idea came, unfortunately, from his older sister.  And now, as we catch up with friends and neighbors, the majority of the conversations turn quickly to politics.  How awful it was in November, but how they are all hearing it's going to happen again.  The news is highlighting the ex-president's political party's news that they will begin protesting again on January 22 because that's when they believe the interim president should leave, even though new elections won't take place until May 3rd.

Smoke billows a couple blocks from our house where a mob of people burned tires and public property in protest of Evo's resignation. (Nov. 11)

So, all these things create in my heart and my gut a little knot.  It's one I try not to let grow and I fight to keep my thoughts captive to the Truth that I know, that will never change even if my world falls apart.  Although I didn't handle the last crisis very well, I feel more prepared.  Quicker to get nervous? Yes.  But, I'm hoping that we won't be caught by surprise this time. 

One thing that was of constant encouragement during the hard days was the way the church responded.  And by church, I mean the true believers of all denominations in Bolivia.  I saw and participated in more prayer, both in private and on the street, than I have in a long time.  The peaceful protests that occurred before the president resigned sometimes started with prayer and worship as they formed their blockades.  Pictures of police and military on their knees floated all over the Bolivian internet (I know it's the same internet)- men being challenged to call on the only One would could rescue the country from the situation it was in.  The Bible was returned to the presidential palace with a commitment to make decisions based on its wisdom.  There is a general openness to the hope of Christ than we have experienced here before.  As much as I hate to admit it, cause I really, really don't want to go through what we went through again, the Lord mysteriously works in a special way when people become desperate.  I know He did in my heart and I bank on Him doing it again.