Day 27: Protests.

I received a whatsapp message notifying me of a blockade in our neighborhood at the main roundabout.  I gathered the troops in my house, fed them, and moved them out the door.  Democracy is a cause we can get behind and we wanted to show our support.  Although we don't have the privilege of voting for president, the actions of the current government will affect our lives here and we know this is a turning point in Bolivia's history.  So we started to walk to where blockades take place but noticed a few blocks away that the streets were completely open.  I felt incredibly disappointed in my neighbors and wondered where everyone was.  We met up with a neighborhood friend and spent an hour or so at the park talking while our daughters rode their bikes and then she got a text: We're at the roundabout down the hill.  Yes, finally!  Here is the blockade I was hoping for.  We stowed the bikes and hiked down the main road, walking past disgruntled drivers sitting idly in their trucks, not able to continue down this one road that leads up to where we live and down into the city.  It's really the only road snaking up the side of the mountain and the blockade was keeping traffic on both sides from progressing.

There was a crowd with flags and banners and ropes tied across the street.  We joined the small throng and were happy to greet various people we've met in the neighborhood over the years, families who are part of our school and people who attend our church.  The kids sat on the ground and gratefully accepted soda and chips and sandwiches that were passed around with a good will by those who were participating in the strike.

Natty and Jubi stood up to join in singing the national anthem, scream-singing with the rest at the part of the song that swears, "We will die before we live as slaves again!" Bolivia certainly knows what oppression is and they are not ready to sit down and fall victim to it again.  It was a beautiful thing to be a part of.  Although we will never know what it's really like for this to be our reality because of our privilege of being able to up and leave if things get too bad, we were thankful to be accepted into the mix, showing our support for this country that we love and for these people that we know God has good things for.  We are praying for this good, knowing that God's good can sometimes look different than what we hope or expect, but knowing that He will always be faithful.

Day 26: What happens next??

At lunch today Moses prays:

"Dear God, Thank you for this day.  Thank you for our family.  Thank you for our food.  Please don't let Evo cheat.  In Jesus' name, Amen."

So, we got the message last night that there'd be no school today.  Natty and I went out as early as we could to do my weekly market shopping where I buy our week's worth of fruits and veggies.  I had heard that a march was going to be coming our way and wanted to get out and back before the only road up to our house was full of marchers.  The women selling produce were surprised to see Natty out of school- there's not much that would cause Bolivian public schools to suspend classes, except a strike by the teachers.  But at Highlands, we are pretty careful if it looks like things are heating up, especially because there are a fair number of students who live around the areas of town where strikes and riots often happen.  The kids had already gone to bed when we found out there was no school, so they were ecstatic to have another "strike day".  Strike packets had been sent home so the kids would be able to continue a bit of what they are currently learning at school. While the sun is shining in a perfect blue sky, we are hunched over our screens reading the constant WhatsApp messages exploding our phones and keeping an eye on the local newspaper online for anything new.

After lunch, I noticed a news article that explained the OAS (Organization of American States), who began working with Bolivia to try to resolve the discrepancies in the voting process, officially declared that the best next step would be to enforce a run-off.  Have you heard of the OAS?  Me neither.  Wiki tells me that they were founded in 1948 for the purpose of strengthening democracy, working for peace, defending human rights, fostering free trade, fighting the drugs trade and promoting sustainable development.  So, we got a little piece of news in the right direction and now the question is, Will the president agree to the run-off?  We're pretty sure he won't.  So, we try to remember who has the ultimate power here and remind our kids, too.  We had a time of prayer together this morning as a family and want to maintain that attitude of absolute faith in the One who turns the hearts of kings and men.

P.S.  Here is a more complete article of what is currently happening.

Day 25: Political Unrest.

4 months after I arrived to Bolivia as a naive 23 year old, my boss called our apartment one day and said, "Have a backpack packed, you might need to get on a plane today if things get ugly."  It was October of 2003 and once again, the nation was heating up politically.  The current president was receiving enormous pressure to resign and if he didn't do it on his own, the opposition was going to force him out.  And that's just what happened.  There's obviously a lot more to the story than that, but all I knew was that it was adventure time!  Food for the Hungry, the NGO I worked for, decided we would be safer in Lima, Peru than in Bolivia.  So, off we went to Lima where we had an all-expenses paid vacation!  After a few months living on the outskirts of the relatively small town of Cochabamba in one of the poorest countries in South America, I was ready to get some Starbucks.  Lima did not disappoint when it came to first world attractions and food- I think I gained about 10 pounds in those couple of weeks we were hanging out there.  I got to see the Nazca lines and visit an oasis in the desert and do lots of shopping.  And I had a vague sense that back where my job was, tanks were rolling down the streets and riots were happening and there wasn't enough food.  The reality of that would not hit home until many years later when I spoke with Bolivia friends firsthand who were directly impacted by that tumultuous time.

So on Sunday, Bolivia held presidential elections.  Evo Morales has already rewritten parts of the constitution and given himself an extra term in office (among other things), even when the nation voted against it.  I won't pretend to understand all the finer points because I am woefully uninformed, but I do know that there has been very obvious fraudulent activity regarding the election a couple days ago.  At first count, Evo and his most serious opponent were close enough in the polls to warrant a run-off in December.  Yesterday, it was declared that Evo's lead was large enough to cause him to win the election outright.  Because of much evidence to the contrary and a lot of unexplained discrepancies that would give him that advantage, the country is once again in an uproar.  This time, I am following it all a lot more closely.  I sat in bed last night and watched live feeds on Facebook from leaders around the country calling for honesty and democracy and the run-off to take place as it should.  As often happens when things heat up enough, lines at the gas stations get longer and folks hit the markets to stock up on food.  They know what could possibly happen and how to prepare.  I'm asking myself for the first time- should I be doing this, too?  I've always felt far enough outside the issues affecting the country that it hasn't felt like it applies to me directly.  I'm definitely making a trip to the grocery and the gas station today.  Stay tuned and please pray.  Democracy and the future of this country is as stake if this government continues in power. 

Day 24: Happy birthday, Zion!

Nine years ago today, our second child was born into the world- 10 weeks early.  I'll paste the first blog I wrote after Zion was born below and remember what it was like in that joyful, but mostly uncertain time:

It's hard to believe I'm back home while my baby is 30 minutes away, fighting to remain stable. My favorite part of the day at the clinic was when I could shuffle or be wheeled down to the elevator and ride a floor up into the neonatal nursery to see my son. I enjoyed the beeps of his monitors, assured that as long as I heard the rhythmic beeping, my son was still breathing. I liked to hear his doctor tell me that he was stable. I didn't like to hear him tell me (as he did several times) that he caused him suffering last night or made him age 10 years (when his lung collapsed). But I loved to wash my hands, warm them up under his heater and grab a tiny arm or leg and start talking to him. He's mostly sedated at this point and has a couple tubes coming out of his mouth and had one coming out of each side keeping air moving past his lungs. They usually have his eyes covered with some type of bandage and keep little cotton puffs on his feet to keep them warm. But, he's still adorable and one morning I was able to see his whole face uncovered and noticed immediately how much he looks like his daddy. I would talk to him about Natalie and the kitties and what we would do when he comes home. I would tell him to get strong fast and not to forget that when Mommy and Daddy aren't around, God is right there with him. I read him one of my new favorite Psalms (105) and sang "Jesus Loves Me" to him ("Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong). I tried not to cry a lot. Today he seemed more responsive to our touch and voice, jerking his little arms or legs a bit when we would caress him. As much as I did not care for the clinic I was in, I would have happily stayed in his nursery room until he was ready to come out. We were distracted as we drove home today, so I didn't have much time to think about the fact that we were leaving our baby behind, but as soon as I got in the door and looked around, home just didn't feel right without Zion in it. I didn't know where to start. Since I was on bed rest for 9 days, and then recovering from a C-section for another 3, a shower sounded nice, but I couldn't manage to bring myself to do anything for a while but sit on the couch and stare into space. How could something so familiar and normal suddenly feel so out of whack? My thoughts keep drifting back to my little guy- his chest being forced up and down by a ventilator, his cute little perfect toes, his adorable nose being stretched a bit to one side from the tubes, his somewhat transparent skin. The last couple of weeks have definitely taught me how to pray and how to recollect my thoughts to the truths of who the Lord is when they start to wander to those dark places. Not one day has gone by where I haven't felt God's presence, even in the midst of despair, sadness, fear and pain. I know we have a long road ahead and even now I have a hard time trusting that our baby will be OK. I've read the Bible too much and known too many amazing Christian people who have gone through tragedy to believe that God's perfect plan is always the one we would choose for it to be. But, I continue to trust that He will sustain us, our son, our faith and prove Himself good. His promises are the only firm and unchanging things in my life.

Day 23: The one with the middle schoolers and power tools.

Watch your fingers, girls!

So, Scotty is both the middle school Bible and science teacher at Highlands.  He didn't study to teach science, but has an inquisitive mind and an appreciation for helping kids understand the world from a Biblical perspective while enjoying how the subject lends itself to more creative teaching techniques.  One such teaching opportunity came today.  I rolled in to pick up the girls after school and saw that a bunch of middle school students were scurrying around the back patio area like little mice with black and neon green gloves on.  I knew this had to be the work of Scotty Miser.  Highlands was at one time a brick factory and this particular part of the school is still a wonderland of bricks, random brush piles, cement stairs and platforms.  In other words, the place where every 6th grader wishes they could be during school hours.  Some kids were picking up branches, others were picking up garbage and then a lucky few were using a power circular saw.  Now, for those of you who have middle school kids, have had middle school kids, have ever been in the presence of middle school kids or were ever a middle school kid, you might cringe, cover your eyes and shake your head when I put the words "6th grader" and "saw" in the same sentence.  However, rest assured that Scotty has given comprehensive instruction on power saw safety and is standing by every moment of its operation.  But, as a mom, I think there's a mental reflex that happens when you see tweens handling power tools.  I asked one boy what he was doing and he happily answered, "We're cutting fire wood for the hike!"  Then I realized that all those other kids working together in groups were also inventing new and fun ways of creating fire wood.  Scotty calls this "Creation Care Wednesday" and it is such a fun way to teach the kids how to recycle, take care of the earth (sometimes they collect garbage around the school grounds) and generally value this incredible resource of Earth that the Lord has given us.

Another thing I think is so fantastic about working at Highlands are things like the hike that the one boy mentioned.  In a couple weeks, every willing 6th-8th grader will head out into the mountains with my husband and a couple other teachers.  A few years ago, they discovered a hikable trail behind a nearby mountain where they can drive, drop off the troops and then pick them up a town or two over.  The spend the night in the wild outdoors and for the vast majority of the these kids, it'll be the first time they've ever hiked, slept in a tent or spent so much uninterrupted time out of doors.  The struggle is real, but it has become one of the things most elementary students look forward to as they think about becoming middle schoolers (cause, let's face it, middle school can be rough) and I know Scotty loves the opportunity to connect with the kids outside of the classroom in a more relaxed and enjoyable way.  This will also prepare them for the 2 Incan trail hikes they'll have the opportunity of doing when they reach high school.

How fun is our school?!

Day 22: Moses.

He's into ALL the superheroes these days.

Moses turned 5 last week.  With him, there have been days and weeks that felt like an eternity and yet it's hard to believe he's such a big boy already.  There have been so many challenging phases in his development, as there are with all children, but some of those phases have brought me to the point of utter exhaustion and despair.  However, as usual when we look back, we can see the way God has done a redeeming work in us and in our situations.  I just want to take a moment to process through some of these glorious things the Lord has done in my son's life, to celebrate him and to remind myself:

Moses can now sleep through the night in his own bed!!  I had seriously given up on this ever happening and wasn't even trying to work towards it.  For the last 4 years, he's started the night in his bed and either been brought to ours our come on his own at some point in the night.  Not anymore- hallelujah!!

Moses is attending school from 8:30-12:30 every day and (mostly) loving it!  The teacher says he is helpful and independent and plays with everyone.  We have definitely seen his fear ramp up in the last few weeks because of the transition, but he goes every day with his sisters into the campus, says good-bye and usually has a smile on his face.  This is a big deal, especially because it's still a challenge a lot of times to leave him at home with someone other than us.

He can empathize.  This might not sound like a huge deal, but it is.  Sometimes kids who have a trauma history don't quite make the connection between their behavior and the affect it can have on others.  I mean, even non-traumatized kids (and adults) can struggle with this!  So, when he sees one of his sisters hurting and he looks at her with concern on his face and gives her a hug- it gladdens my heart.

He can make good choices!  I've mentioned self-regulation on the blog before: the idea that we have certain skills that are naturally developed to help us control our emotions, behaviors and thoughts.  Again, this is an area all children have to mature in, but it is an especially difficult one to master when there is a trauma history. (Trauma history is about 100 blogs in and of itself and one that I'm still learning about.  There is so much brain science to come out in the last 10 years to help us understand what is happening neurologically in our children and if you're interested, I could try to summarize some of those ideas in another blog) Moses has learned how to delay gratification, accept when I have to say "no" to something he really wants, compromise so that we can both be happy and communicate with his sisters when they are doing something that bothers him.  Wow!!

Apart from developmental advances, we love what a funny and smart boy he is.  He loves to tell jokes and make us laugh.  He gets so excited about things and his joy is contagious.  He still loves to sit and read although he'd rather play Avengers with you.  He loves talking to God and often tells me when he gets scared at night, he tells God jokes.  He's sensitive and sweet and often informs me that I'm a good mommy (except when I'm "mean", which is also somewhat often) and that's I'm pretty.  He looooves having people over and showing them his stuff.

So, these are some of the big things.  What an incredible journey it's been learning how to understand our child and find effective ways to nurture him and equip him with the tools he needs to succeed.  I am truly grateful.

Day 21: Ferry boats.

When you drive to Copacabana on Lake Titicaca, there is a point at the straights of Tiquina where you need to drive your car onto a ferry to shuttle across the water to the other side.  For many years, the government has wanted to build a bridge across because the distance really isn't very far and it would greatly improve the experience of the many tourists who travel there on a daily basis.  But, the community has strongly opposed the idea, as ferry boat operator is the main income of many families in that town.  These ferries are a sight to behold.  They look like they've been slapped together out of old boards that were found in a scrap heap and don't even have a solid bottom for the car to drive onto.  There are slats that run horizontally that hold a couple long planks that run vertically for the cars and buses to drive onto.  They usually squeeze on three cars or one bus and one car and every time you hold your breath as you watch this wonder occur.  How they don't sink is a mystery to me.  I had to drive up onto one of those things by myself one time and I might have aged a few years in the process.  Especially because when you reach the other side, you have to back off of those planks onto the other narrow, movable ones that connect your ferry with land. 

We love to get out of the car when we puttering across and get whipped in the face by the frigid wind.  At that point, I'm guessing we're at least 13,000 ft. above sea level, so it's always cold.  You can feed the ducks and sea gulls if you have some bread with you and take in the general splendor.  My favorite part is watching the man who operates the boat grab his bucket and start bailing out the water that he's taken on over the course of the day.  One has to question where that water is coming from and if at some moment the entry point of that water isn't going to burst open resulting in a very cold swim.

Why am I telling you all this about the ferries?  Well, some of you may be wondering after a few slightly despairing blogs I wrote how I am doing.  It's a cheesy analogy, but I feel sometimes like that ferry boat.  I'm in good working order, even though a few minor repairs have to be made along the way.  Sometimes I'm taking on water again, at risk of maybe starting to sink, but I pick up the bucket and start tossing the water and continue moving forward.  Mostly, by God's grace, His peace is once again reigning in my heart and mind and He leads me one foot at a time while we continue to walk by faith and not by sight.  We're still not sure where the boat is going, but we know we'll get there OK.

Day 20: Titicaca

Well, I've officially failed the 30 day writing challenge but I'm going to go ahead and attempt to finish out these last 10 days.  Starting with...

Our Family Trip to Copacabana!

We're going on a road trip!!

Can you tell I love family trips?  We feel strongly around here that getting outside of the every day routine and making fun memories as a family is super important- I mean, who doesn't?  So, using Moses' birthday as an excuse to get away, we took Friday off of school and hit the road.  One of the blessings that makes this possible is a beloved family that lives in our old apartment one street over who have a son Natty's age that we hire to come feed the cats and dogs.  I'm always thankful to have friends who live nearby!  So, here's a few special things we always look forward to when we do family vacay: the kids get to eat sugary cereal, bedtimes are more flexible, more treats, no agenda, souvenirs, movies, special places to stay.  For our family, getting away means relaxing and not pushing a lot of activity into our day.  It also means foods that Mommy and Daddy would normally not allow.  And, we always try to find somewhere cool to stay since we will be spending a fair amount of time in that place doing a lot of nothing in particular.  This time, Mommy totally scored with The Snail.  

This place was so whimsical inside with beautiful views of the stunning Lake Titicaca from the round windows.  There were plenty of beds and best of all, a yard with hammocks.  The hammocks would have been the highlight of the trip, but there were only two and the kids kept fighting over them.  They were still pretty great.

Another highlight: alpacas- the nice ones and the evil ones.  The nice ones lived next door and you could feed them puff cereal and dig your fingers into their thick fur.  

Nice alpaca.

The evil ones lived on our hotel grounds and tried to bite you every time you walked by.  And, they were usually not tied up and would often wander into our yard and look at us menacingly from outside our windows, daring us to come out.  We didn't like them and I had to slap one in the face one time, but they added some spice to the trip.

Bad alpaca wants to bite my face.

The last time we went to the lake, we camped in a tent on a random piece of land outside of the city that belonged to a man we met that day.  Moses was two.  There were no bathrooms.  There were hailstorms with loud thunder and lightening in the night.  You can imagine how relaxing that trip was.  This time, since the kids were bigger and we weren't challenging them just by lodging in nature, we decided to push them to hike the stations of the cross.  This hike is up a pretty steep hillside and is a place where some people go to seek the favor of God, Mary and the Pachamama all at once.  Therefore, there are vendors selling sacrifices and amulets and shamans waiting to perform whatever ritual you need.  

Candles lit on at the top.

The hike is strewn with garbage, an unfortunate pattern in a lot of natural wonders in Bolivia, and reeks of incense.  Although there was much grumbling and complaining at the beginning, I think the kids got into it on the way up.  By the time we got to the top, Jubilee and Natty were feeling a certain amount of the spiritual darkness and were ready to head back down.  Moses seemed content to have made it all the way to the top.  I prayed with the girls as we walked and reminded them that we carry the light with us and have nothing to fear from the darkness, also reminding them that this is the reality for a lot of people who live in the place they call home.

Not a bad view of Copacabana from the top of the hike.

Other high points from the trip worth mentioning: taking out a swan paddle boat (well, this was a Donald Duck boat to be specific) that caused one of my girls great trepidation and led us to turn back early;

Some of us enjoyed the paddle boat.

riding across the straights of Tiquina in the famous well patched and worn wooden ferries that don't look like they can hold us and that giant tour bus (but it did); 

We're riding the ferry and not sinking!

cats that lived on premises;

 a delightful, tiny sandwich shop run by a local Brit; 

Waiting for sandwiches.

family church time on a private rock beach outside of town.  

So peaceful!

It's back to normal today, but we are so thankful we had some time away to rest, reflect and enjoy each other!

Intermission

For all my faithful readers out there (thanks, Mom!) who are wondering where I've been for almost a week- the killer combo of a head cold, Moses' birthday and preparing to teach women's Bible study has kept me otherwise occupied.  Other women more powerful than I could have also blogged, but my brain space is limited and my creative energy easily run down.  So, stay tuned.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have something to say or maybe I'll even blog from the beautiful and serene Lake Titicaca where my family is going to spend the weekend.  I feel more relaxed just thinking about it.

Either way, I'll be back.

Sorry- couldn't help the reference.  Also, who knew terminator movies kept coming out well into the 2000's?