10 years?!

I have to laugh at this picture that was taken during a day retreat we went on last weekend to celebrate 10 years of marriage.  We look so tired!  I suppose 3 months of hardly sleeping will do that to you.  Sigh.  But, taking a day away in this beautiful, relaxing place was just what we needed.  Friends of ours have a retreat center about 25 minutes downhill from our house.  The landscape changes dramatically, as does the weather, and by the time we arrived, we were in a green valley with farms all around.  They had reserved the whole place just for us with the purpose of really resting in God's presence, spending time in the Word, praying together and just hanging out.  We were blessed to have our trusted house-helper come to stay with the kids, the first time we've left Moses for a whole day.  They all did great!  And we were able to reflect on God's goodness to our family these last 10 years.  Here's some highlights:

2005: Married and moved to our first home in Charlotte, NC.  We quickly developed a tight community through Desiring God Community Church that made that year amazing.  So glad to still be in relationship with those peeps.

2006:  Back to Bolivia!  To the land where we met and fell in love and where God has called us to live long-term.  Back into Spanish classes.  Found the apartment we've lived in since and have long out-grown.  Met our church planting team!

2007:  God creates our first baby and we lose him.  Scotty breaks his collarbone in a bike accident.  God begins forming our character through suffering. We decide to take a trip to Spain: Madrid, Barcelona, and Sevilla.

2008:  Natalie Inez is born- we're parents!  Let the ride begin...  Also squeeze in a trip to Argentina and Uruguay earlier in the year.

2009:  We take a long home assignment and travel the east/mid-west to see the incredible friends and supporters God has blessed us with.  So fun to celebrate Natty's first birthday with our family!

2010:  Baby #3- a boy!  Little Zion Scott is born premature and rocks our world for 19 days.  He leaves us all too soon and we learn what real suffering looks like.  Life will never be the same and God becomes more real than ever.

2011:  The church plant we have helped start is well established.  Scotty is deep in the work of being an elder and small group leader.  God rocks us again with baby #4 and we decide to have this one in the U.S.

2012- Jubilee Sage!  Our great joy as we experience the fulfillment of hope after loss.

2013- Burn out.  It's big and ugly and hanging on.  We struggle in ministry and as a family.

2014- God leads us back to the U.S. for rest and counselling.  He does a miracle in restoration and healing and we're back in Bolivia after a couple months and ready for some changes.

2015- Baby #5- Moses David!!  We've been through a roller coaster of experiences and emotions in his adoption journey and now he is finally home where he belongs.  Plus, we're building a house and Scotty starts his long-awaited job at Highlands.  So much excitement!  So much stress!  It's been a full year.

What will the next 10 bring?

In the trenches.

I'm sitting on my bed with coffee and dark chocolate and a candle burning.  It's cold outside and cloudy today.  The wind cuts right through your clothes and makes it impossible to be warm.  Sounds cozy in here, right?  Don't let me fool you- I also have a very sick little boy glaring at me with half-closed sick eyes and whimpering faintly because he's almost totally hoarse.  He was burning up with a fever last night and crying continually.  All.  Night.  Long.  I don't think I've ever gotten so little sleep...even in those crazy high school lock-ins at church (remember those?).  Scotty and Natty started school yesterday and my parents left in the wee hours of the morning and I thought I would have this lovely week of getting Moses back onto a decent sleep schedule at night, start going to the gym and generally have perfect control over my circumstances.  Ha!  I don't think the Lord sits up in heaven smirking down on us with a sarcastic grin, but He must wonder why we learn so very slowly.  So, I'm still in the depth of the trenches and wondering if I should try to get this very sad little boy a a doctor (except his pediatrician doesn't work today) and asking myself if life will ever be normal again.  Here's to chocolate and a moment to blog.  Small victories.

Full.

This is the quietest moment I can remember having lately.  I can't actually remember having a quiet moment in the last few months.  There are so many things I want to do.  Sleep.  Read.  Take a walk.  Cook something healthy and yummy.  Clean my ever-messy house! (I don't really want to do this one but wish it would happen magically).  So, I'm blogging instead.  Somehow blogging makes me feel satisfied and helps me to process where I am right now.  It might be quick and it will have no pictures, but I will be able to type out all that has been going on and feel a little lighter by the end.

My parents are here!  They came 2 1/2 weeks ago and leave on Tuesday.  We've mostly stayed around the house and found that cooking for 6, cleaning up after 6 and playing with small children can occupy an entire day.  Mom has helped me organize and graciously washed all our dishes.  Dad has been helping Scotty with projects and entertaining Moses, who is crawling!  Mo has responded well to their visit, although he has regressed at night.  Boo.  This could be due to just about anything and I am learning to roll with it.  The girls have LOVED playing ponies and animals and just about anything with their grandparents and we take daily walks over to the land to see progression on the house.  How lovely it will be to host people when we have a larger home!!  You're all invited.  :)

Scotty has had the last week at Highlands doing school prep and orientation!  During this last year of transition, there have been a few moments when I've thought- when is it going to end?  The date for school to start and Scotty to begin working officially seemed to hover so far off into the misty future.  But, as always happens, it got here!  He's been so busy trying to keep up with house build stuff and getting to know his way around a new community and job.  He's so happy and I love that.  We know it will be a huge transition for our family (another one- yay!), but we also know it will be so healthy for all of us.  I love that he will be on campus with Natty and eventually with the other two.  I love that he already has some really good guy friends among the staff...something he hasn't had and really needed for a while now.  I love how it is challenging him to live with excellence and integrity in his work, something that is so important to him, in order to honor Christ and draw others to Him.  It's going to be so good.  And maybe a bit challenging.

I feel like I've lived in this apartment cave for the last few months.  Adding a third child, and one who is essentially special needs, is a lot of work.  I've come up for air a few times and been able to go out with some girl friends or to a Bible study, thanks to Scotty hanging out with all three, but it's been intense.  However, I feel strongly that this is God's call on us as a family, and me in particular as a mom.  He has sustained us and will continue to do so.  I'm hoping with the start of school, Natty and Scotty out of the house, and just the three of us here, I can get into a routine.  I like routine.  A lot.  I miss time and energy to read, to work out, just to think.  But, that will come.  Right now- my baby is sitting in his crib screaming and trying to get my attention, so we will hold off on more thoughts for now.  Thanks for sticking with us.