Does God really love me?

I don't know about you, but as someone who has been a Christian for a while, I've had the truth that God is sovereign adequately drilled into my head.  And, I believe it.  But, sometimes it can be a very rote answer to whatever struggle you might be going through.  Someone might have thrown that out there as a half-hearted encouragement.  You nod politely, but aren't sure how that's supposed to help the pain or confusion or disappointment.  The girls' Bible has helped me get to the root of why this isn't always as comforting as it should be.  It all comes down to the first lie: Does God really love me?  The serpent used this lie to convince Eve that she should, in fact, eat this delicious looking fruit of the tree that the Lord commanded her not to eat from. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered.  "If he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, juicy, delicious fruit?  Poor you, perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy." (The Jesus Storybook Bible, written by Sally Lloyd-Jones)  How many times do we want something that looks good, that seems good, that MUST be good for us...but God has chosen something way better?  For Adam and Eve, the alternative to this nice looking fruit was a perfect and beautiful life and connection to their creator and Father.  For me, there is always something, but the big thing right now is our adopted son.  Having him home with us seems like the perfect, good, right thing.  But, do I believe that the Lord loves me and has something even better for me and our family?  I do believe it.  But I still pray: Lord, help my unbelief.

First day of Highlands!

I've had several people recently encourage me to focus on what I do have.  Specifically, the 2 beautiful daughters God has graciously given me.  Sometimes I get very caught up in the daily frustration of no news, no baby, unfulfilled dreams and I forget about pouring into the children right in front of me.  I've really tried to make a mental switch these last few weeks and take advantage of the sweet days we have just me and them.  When I was pregnant with Jubilee and on bed rest, I loved having uninterrupted time with Natty.  I couldn't get up and go anywhere; there were few distractions being mostly immobile.  So I focused most of my energies on just being with her.  That is easy to lose a midst the distractions of life.  Natty just started "real school" today.  She's doing the second half of kindergarten at Highlands International School, and 3 days out of the week, she'll be there till 3pm.  This is a new and exciting change for all of us, and it means seeing less of my little girl.  Kindergarten might not seem like a big deal for some, but it's a signal for me that time is short and kids grow up fast and I want to appreciate my days, whether they're exactly as I might have dreamed them to be or not.