Still missing Zion...

We got back from another trip to Cochabamba yesterday. I decided to go with Scotty to his quarterly (they've been a bit more frequent recently) mission meetings because I was hoping to see 2 sets of people- one, a great couple that will hopefully be joining our team after they are done with language school and became instant grandparents to Natty when they were here for a visit less than a year ago; and two, a dear old friend and her family who was in Cochabamba for a visit. We set up with several mission families to spend Sunday at the lake outside of town where SIM owns a cabin. The spot is quiet, still and has a great yard for the kids to play in. There were 4 toddlers on site that day, so it wasn't as still and quiet as it could have been, but Natty didn't once complain of being tired even though she missed her afternoon nap all together. It was good to spend some time with these families that we enjoy so much but rarely get to see because of living in different cities. It was fun to watch Natty interact with other kids and do things she loves to do. I was thankful to be a part of a mission in which we are all different but all loving and serving Bolivia.

The few days passed quickly enough with good interactions with the very people I went to see. Natty had the time of her life, as usual, in the yard at the guest house. She was barefoot in the warm fall weather from morning to night and her feet were black with dirt all day. Up to this point, she has never been interested in swings at the playground, but she decided finally that she loves them and spent hours swinging on the tire swing in the backyard. I just enjoyed being outside in the warm days and mild nights. Nothing too exciting to report. Before we knew it, it was time to board the plane back to La Paz. Natty told me she was sad we were leaving...:( I found myself sitting in the airport, sad as well. But, not because we were leaving Cochabamba. For some reason, out of the blue, I felt so intensely the absence of my son. The memories of the few, precious days with him came flooding back. The momentary feeling of holding him- the desire to do it again. The longing to have him as a part of our lives. It was all so strong, so real. Sometimes those feelings seem to be in the background- always there- but less intense. Yesterday, they moved up to the foreground again. I'm thinking about him a lot today. I'm wondering if this will be how it is for the rest of my days. It's nice that those thoughts are just sad- they aren't angry or questioning or doubting or bitter-usually... God has given me a strong peace, a lack of answers in some regards, but peace and trust. I am thankful to Him for that because I know it is only from Him that it comes. I've seen the depths of my natural man and it is only God that can bring light there. He is good.