Life rolls on...

Moses has these incredibly dark, brown eyes.  I've only managed to find his pupils once, with the light shining in just the right way to help me distinguish them from the shiny, almost-black liquid all around.  Today I noticed I can see my whole head reflected in his iris while I feed him his bottle and he gazes up at me.  I pray that the face peering down at him is the one he is beginning to associate with love, with care, with fun, with Mommy. The feeling he's never had and will never develop in the "normal" way.  But, I pray as he takes in my face, he will know that he can trust me, that he won't be alone anymore.  You have to wonder what goes on in their minds.  Does he still remember the orphanage?  If we went back, would he get excited to see his previous care-givers, his little "friends"?  Would it scare him?

He's doing a little better at night, although we usually have a couple good nights and then things go downhill for a week or so.  I'm pretty sure he's teething and that is throwing off eating and sleeping.  But, we are much more functional than we were a month ago, praise God!  He's growing, too, and getting so heavy I'm not sure how much longer I can safely bend over and lift him out of his crib without causing back problems.  Scotty and I both noted that he hardly feels lighter than Jubilee at this point!  Although he doesn't make any typical pre-verbal noises, he loves to make kiss sounds and blow raspberries and is definitely making forward movement on his tummy.  He sat through his second church service yesterday with success and we even let a couple people hold him.  All of that might have played into the rougher night we had last night.  But, I suppose at some point you have to try to live a more regular life-style again.  I still haven't made it back to the gym and I wonder when that beloved routine will return.  At first, it was out of exhaustion that I wasn't going, now I think it's just because I've lost the habit (and my old gym closed).  In another couple of weeks, Scotty will begin teaching and our routine will go through another major switch that we'll need to adjust to as a family.  It might sound funny to most, but I can hardly imagine our lives being dictated by the 9-5!  We've had such flexibility in these hard and wonderful 9 years as church workers and I will miss that, somewhat.  But, I know the structure will also be a great thing for Scotty and me.

My parents come on Wednesday!  Shhhh...it's a surprise for the girls.  They're going to freak out!  We're so excited to have them here, to introduce Moses to one set of grandparents, to show them our half-finished house and just to enjoy hanging out after more than a year of being apart.