She said what??

I had (another) disturbing encounter with one of our neighbors the other day.  It would be very easy to dwell on my thoughts and feelings regarding this conversation, but I think it won't be hard for you to guess how I felt when I'm done.  It all started something like this:

Her:  So, wasn't it in the plan for you guys to have 4 kids one day?
Me:  Oh, I don't know about that.  We are in the process of adopting, though.
Her (resembling how you might look if you just found the other half of a worm in the apple you'd just bitten into):  Why??  Don't you want to have more of your own kids?
Me (not the first time I've heard this):  Oh, he'll be just as much my kid as my two girls are.

From here, I'll just bullet-point the "highlights" regarding her thoughts on adoption:

• you'll end up with an indigenous child and they are inherently dysfunctional, you know
• an adopted child is similar to a stray dog you've found on the street- you might offer it a home, but you'll never be able to love it like the family pet 

When arguing that you have to be prepared for whatever issues your child might have, regardless of them being biological or adopted, her response was:

• but if you're good, you will have loving and healthy kids
• there's an energy that runs through your body and if you are filled predominately by hate, anger or stress, that results in bad kids and cancer
• here, she used the example of the recent news story in La Paz of an 8 month old baby boy who was so badly abused in one of the state-run orphanages that he died: because his parents were alcoholics, was her logic

You can be sure that I rebutted her arguments as calmly as possible with much personal and Biblical ideas, but she was not to be swayed.  This is an "educated" woman we are talking about.  Her husband is a doctor.  Although she expresses herself forcefully, she is, unfortunately, not the exception.  We will have an uphill battle in a culture who still struggles with racism and less-than-loving views on adoption.  My great hope is that God will use us (and the church) to be a living example of what it means to be adopted.  To realize that the truth of the Bible is that we are His adopted children and are co-heirs with Christ.  We, adopted children, have been promised the same inheritance as God's only Son.  I know our baby boy's tragedy can be redeemed.

Does God really love me?

I don't know about you, but as someone who has been a Christian for a while, I've had the truth that God is sovereign adequately drilled into my head.  And, I believe it.  But, sometimes it can be a very rote answer to whatever struggle you might be going through.  Someone might have thrown that out there as a half-hearted encouragement.  You nod politely, but aren't sure how that's supposed to help the pain or confusion or disappointment.  The girls' Bible has helped me get to the root of why this isn't always as comforting as it should be.  It all comes down to the first lie: Does God really love me?  The serpent used this lie to convince Eve that she should, in fact, eat this delicious looking fruit of the tree that the Lord commanded her not to eat from. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered.  "If he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, juicy, delicious fruit?  Poor you, perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy." (The Jesus Storybook Bible, written by Sally Lloyd-Jones)  How many times do we want something that looks good, that seems good, that MUST be good for us...but God has chosen something way better?  For Adam and Eve, the alternative to this nice looking fruit was a perfect and beautiful life and connection to their creator and Father.  For me, there is always something, but the big thing right now is our adopted son.  Having him home with us seems like the perfect, good, right thing.  But, do I believe that the Lord loves me and has something even better for me and our family?  I do believe it.  But I still pray: Lord, help my unbelief.

First day of Highlands!

I've had several people recently encourage me to focus on what I do have.  Specifically, the 2 beautiful daughters God has graciously given me.  Sometimes I get very caught up in the daily frustration of no news, no baby, unfulfilled dreams and I forget about pouring into the children right in front of me.  I've really tried to make a mental switch these last few weeks and take advantage of the sweet days we have just me and them.  When I was pregnant with Jubilee and on bed rest, I loved having uninterrupted time with Natty.  I couldn't get up and go anywhere; there were few distractions being mostly immobile.  So I focused most of my energies on just being with her.  That is easy to lose a midst the distractions of life.  Natty just started "real school" today.  She's doing the second half of kindergarten at Highlands International School, and 3 days out of the week, she'll be there till 3pm.  This is a new and exciting change for all of us, and it means seeing less of my little girl.  Kindergarten might not seem like a big deal for some, but it's a signal for me that time is short and kids grow up fast and I want to appreciate my days, whether they're exactly as I might have dreamed them to be or not.

The team is here!

I left the house early in order to pick up our YWAM team and make the trek back up near the airport where we would start our Andean worldview tour with our friend, Andy.  After hiking up a long set of stairs, we hopped on the green line cable cars and made our ascent, about 2000 ft. up, to El Alto.  After checking in with Andy and getting the low-down on the day, we began walking.  I was impressed with how well he knew the city, sometimes forgetting his family used to live up there and still spend quite a bit of time in those parts for work.  Horns were already blaring, even though it was only about 9:30 in the morning and as we entered a large market with very narrow rows, we realized that plenty of people were up and shopping.  Markets are nothing new to me, but I wasn't used to how crammed everything was, including the people.  There were more smells, more stuff, more roots and rocks to trip over.  Andy moved fast- he knew we'd be less of a target for pick-pocketing if we weren't slow.  At one point, me and two other girls got caught behind a long ling of aggressive traffic that was not looking to let any pedestrians through.  We saw a few tall, blond heads bobbing down the row way in front of us, but quickly lost sight of the rest of the group.  We decided to keep moving forward, figuring we'd come upon them before long.  At the end of that row, we ran up against a road teeming with people and public transport vehicles, but no one we recognized.  There was some tension as we decided to navigate back into the chaos, but we prayed and eventually met back up.  After passing through the witches market, explaining sacrifices to the Pachamama and learning how to stuff and chew coca leaves, we ended the sketchiest bit of our tour by passing by the shaman's stalls with their sacrificial fires burning.  Somewhat wierded out at first, before the end I felt joy that we were a group carrying the Spirit of the living God within us- light in a very dark place.  We took some time to tour through the massive, general cemetery (all above ground, mausoleum-style), do some more urban hiking through a large market in the city of La Paz and ended our quest at a fancy coffee shop in the rich south zone.

General cemetery

I was impressed with what we saw, realizing anew how accustomed I am to my own life-style and how I can fairly easily tune out the poverty that mostly characterizes the nation I live in.  God challenged me again to seek ways to live more sacrificially, more generously, toward those who are in need.

Team praying for the Highlands International School and our church, IBM.

Hanging out, drinking coffee, eating the gingerbread house.

These 8 young people, with my long-time friend as their leader, have been such a blessing!  They are willing, servant-hearted, laid-back, fun and in love with the Lord.  We've really enjoyed getting to know them and are being re-inspired through their enthusiasm about what the Lord is up to here.  They've participated in several different ministries and will head off on Monday to Cochabamba to see what God's doing there and join up with that.  2 of them even stayed with the girls overnight so we could have some time away!  We are so grateful they came.

Christmas dinner!