Waiting.

I'm pretty sure I've never met anyone who enjoys the process of waiting for something that they're desperate to have, without an end in sight.  It's not a fun place to be.  So far, in the adoption process, we have waited- for paperwork to get finished, for phone calls, for interviews, for news, for a child.  When we got the call from the lawyer a month and a half ago that there was a baby boy that could be assigned to us,  I knew it would be a while before the plan came to fruition.  But, here we are, one step away from him being officially assigned to us, meeting him and bringing him home, and I'm not feeling so patient anymore.  I live with my phone nearby in case the lawyer calls.  Christmas is around the corner and our greatest wish is that he could be here with us for that time.  It also means that if he's not, there's another several weeks of vacation (which isn't much of a vacation for him in the less than loving atmosphere of the orphanage) that we all endure before any progress is made again on his behalf.  Our friends are praying.  Our family is praying.  People we hardly know are praying for his release.  Deep within us, we trust that God has a perfect purpose in all things that happen to us, even in the waiting.  Even if he were to lay around a while longer where he's not being properly cared for.  Still, I can not escape the overwhelming desire to rescue him from that.

I've really enjoyed having Natty home from school with me these last couple of weeks.  We try to do something a little special each day- I want her vacation to really feel like a vacation.  I'm almost done with Christmas shopping, so I can really focus on the girls during the day.  I'm still a bit in denial about the 9 person team coming in less than 2 weeks, but excited about what that time with them might hold.  This year, we've chosen to go very simple as far as presents for the girls are concerned.  Large, silky fabrics to play make-believe with, clip boards to assist in drawings, a piggy bank, a sticker album.  Nothing that's a true toy, because those mostly wear so quickly.  Scotty and I will plan to spend a night away as our present to each other, as long as baby boy isn't in the house.  It's nice to keep things simple, know we're saving money, but still making sweet memories as a family.  I'm excited to participate in some of the outreaches the team will be doing so that my girls can have a better sense of how blessed they are.  I'm thankful, as we do advent together as a family, for the reminder that Christ came to free us from sin, from the desire to have things and seek out contentment in them (even a new baby or house) and that one day He will return to bring us to our perfect home.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

The rains seem to have finally made it.  It's cloudy dark outside right now and the girls are both having quiet/nap time.  Our Christmas tree is up and twinkling and we've dug out the Christmas CDs (do people still use CDs?).  4 strands of broken or half-working lights are resting on my couch.  I swear they are designed for maximum irritation...how do you burn out half a strand of lights??  Every year as we unpack our limited decorations, I tell Scotty I want to buy some decent stuff and he says to wait till we build our house.  We've put that off till March or April, but at the rate things are going, I still wonder if it will ever happen.  We have gorgeous, intricately cross-stitched stockings made by a family friend with our names on them (even Zion!).  I'm hoping baby boy Miser will have one hanging up next year.  My parents passed on Santa and Mrs. Claus salt and pepper shakers.  And, we are slowly growing a collection of meaningful ornaments.  The girls went wild this year as we poured over each thing and talked about where it came from or who gave it to us- I love family traditions.  I found an old Christmas magazine someone had mailed to me and folded back the corners on some pages with delicious holiday goodies I'll be trying out this year.  Today marks the beginning of advent and I look forward to replacing our normally scheduled family devos with Nancy Guthrie's, Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room.  The girls and I crafted some salt ornaments today and we have a whole list of other activities we want to do together before the new year.  Natty will start the second half of kindergarten (she already did a full year in her Bolivian school) at Highlands in January.  She'll be in class till later in the day and, to me, it feels like a real school and that my first born is going to be gone for far too long.  This holiday season seems like the end of her baby girl days.  We're continuing to pray that our little boy will come home to us soon.  There's been a ridiculous amount of talk in the air about the horrific state of government run orphanages after a particularly devastating news story about a baby boy who died in one recently.  It's been hard for me to hear these facts over and over and know our little guy is living there now.  God is teaching me a new level of trust in Him, but we are anxious to rescue our son as quickly as possible.  Scotty has a full day of teaching scheduled tomorrow where he will be observed and then (we assume), offered an official position at Highlands.  Also coming up, my best friend brings a YWAM team to visit for 7 weeks!!  This month is FULL of expectation.