Snow day.

Well, not really, but that's what Scotty calls days when there's a strike and public transport and a lot of other things around the city shut down. Most of the time, private vehicles are allowed to circulate, and today was no exception. I wanted to mention a couple interesting things I saw today. The first is something I've seen many times before when the public transport has decided to strike (today they are demanding higher wages/passage fares): men with sticks and rocks standing at the entrance to our neighborhood. What are they doing with those sticks and rocks, you ask? Well, they plan on throwing the rocks at any public transportation vehicle that is running and then taking the driver out and beating him with sticks. Sometimes it's just a threat, sometimes they mean it. I don't want to be around when they mean it. I might have mentioned before that we have a car that is the same make and model as many taxis around here and we are often momentarily mistaken as taxis, i.e., public transportation. I always go very slowly through this intersection when those rock-bearing men are around so they get a good look at my obvious gringa-ness and realize I am no threat to their strike. So- we found all things calm when we arrived downtown and less traffic to deal with. Our purpose was to pick up visas that Scotty was told would be ready today. This is the first time we haven't worked with someone to do our visa paperwork, which usually is better off done through someone else who has connections in immigration and knows how the system works. However, our president is continually changing the system and the people who are working in it, so no one really knows what is going on. Therefore, it's easier to do it yourself, even if it can be a bit of a wild goose chase. Miraculously, he was able to go downtown only 2 or 3 times, collect up all the stuff they asked for, turn it in and they gave him the date it would be done! We went in expecting to pick them up and they said our paperwork had been "under observation" because we were missing 2 very important things. The guy pointed to a sign taped to the glass window that mentioned following up on your paperwork for this very reason. However, it's not a notice you're likely to notice because it's tucked on a window that is usually behind a long line of people doing their own paperwork and you would never have been able to see it, nor do they refer you to it when you turn in your stuff. Also, once Scotty had gathered everything together they asked for, turned it in and gotten a specific date when the visa would be ready, he didn't think it would be necessary to come back and ask, just in case. Right? Not right. So, not such a big surprise and he'll be back on Monday to turn in what should be the last of the requirements. When we got back to the neighborhood, all the men were still around and now burning a tire.

The other interesting thing I saw on the way home was an orphanage. My good friend Andrea had lovingly searched for a place that could take all the milk I had painstakingly pumped and stored while Zion was alive. She had heard of this particular orphanage near where we had lunch and told me that it was surprisingly nice and that all the babies seemed to be clean and happy. A lot of places that take babies don't take awesome care of them and tell their workers not to touch them because once they've experienced touch, they will want more and there isn't enough help to go around- so they don't want all the babies to freak out about it. Sad. Anyway, the most amazing thing about this place is the little turn-box in one of the front windows right along the sidewalk. The home is located on a main drag in town and anyone who wants/needs can tuck their baby in this box and rotate it in toward the inside of the building and walk away. I wish it were so easy to get babies out this same way. Scotty and I have always considered adoption and since we lost Zion, I have wondered if God isn't pushing us again to think about it and act on the desire He has given us. However, we've heard it's next to impossible to adopt from Bolivia as an American. I still think we'll go back to this home and check it out and see if they can hook us up with a lawyer. And maybe, just maybe, they'll have a baby that we can pick up and take home without any hassle...

Redemption

So, we just got spanked at euchre again by Scotty's parents. We almost won...for real. So, after saying good-bye, I find myself still up after some people have gone to bed- a twist on the usual. I'm not a night person. I've been thinking about writing a blog about something I've been thinking about, but feel like it's one of those ideas that only the tip of your brain grabs a hold of and you're not sure you even totally understand it, much less are you capable of expressing it to other people. But, I'll try. So, I've found as I grieve that it's incredibly helpful to hear the stories of other moms and dads who have lost children as well. The ups and downs they experienced, the lessons learned, the real, rawness of their hearts. I hope my blog will one day serve the same purpose to another poor soul who will forever have a piece of her missing. And then I realize again that even though I can relate to these women, they can't walk in my shoes with me. Grief is a solitary experience. So then I get sad thinking about that and have to remind myself that the Lord is here and that He knows what I am going through. But that feels different because He hasn't written a blog about it... You know what I'm saying? It just doesn't feel as tangible. But I know that the suffering the Lord has endured is completely incomparable to what I am going through now. I was talking to the Lord about this the other day and still wanting to feel convinced that we're in this together. Then I had an idea. It might not be a completely theologically correct one, so bear with me. If Christ's death on the cross was God's plan to redeem man and be a sacrifice for sin once and for all- that must include the effect of sin on the world, right? In other words, because Adam and Eve (who I am really unhappy with right now) chose to disobey God, sin and brokenness entered the world and terrible things happen that aren't in line with God's expressed will- like natural disasters and babies dying. So, when Christ died, was it not only for the sins that people commit but for the terrible things that happen as a result of sin- like Zion's death? If that's the case, as I have always imagined it, at some point as He hung on that cross taking on the sins of all His children from all time, He also took on the death of my son and experienced that pain. So not only does He know it but He's felt it. He's felt what I'm feeling and we're in this together. It's nice to have that great Someone to walk through this with and I pray He will continually strengthen my faith and hope to remember that He is here.

What's new

Papi and Natty time.

Blackberries!

Cook-out with our favorite Cochabambinos.

Grass at the guesthouse.

Taking off from El Alto- a plateau at 14,000ft.

Well, I don't have much profound to say today...I'll save that for another time when I've had a few quiet moments to think about what might be going on in my mind and heart with regard to Zion.
Today, I'll just fill you in a bit on what we've been up to- just for the sake of those who kindly check my blog and want to know how we are doing. We just returned from 6 days in lovely Cochabamba. The weather was on and off rainy all week, which made for just enough sunny and warm days along with some nice, cooler, rainy days that were perfect for book reading, or when Natty was up, movie watching. Scotty was in meetings for the mission from morning to dinner time, so the in-laws and I enjoyed hanging around the SIM guest house. My favorite part is the beautiful, large, grassy yard. Natty woke up every morning and immediately demanded that we go outside. Most days she could roam with bare feet and would run as fast as her chubby legs would take her to chase after a bird or look for the dog or just because she could. One day, she spent an hour or so throwing her dog to me and then dramatically falling down and rolling around in the grass when she missed catching him as I returned the throw. On one of the walls was a glorious blackberry vine that she would also insist that we pick from anytime she noticed or thought about it. Scotty's parents happily took care of Natty one morning while I went to the used clothing section of the cancha- Cochabamba's enormous market. It was a joy to be by myself and slowly browse the stores without interruption. And, Scotty and I even managed a date at our favorite restaurant. Other than this trip, we have been mostly around the house or nearby running errands. Every room in our apartment now has a couple painted walls, thanks to my father-in-law and Natty continues to enjoy the extra playmates that our parents have been to her. IBM's women's Bible study started up last week with a whopping 20 ladies in attendance! We'll be studying Beth Moore's Jesus the One and Only in Spanish and I'm looking forward to getting back in touch with some of the women from church through this time together every 2 weeks. I also feel like Spanish sounds like a foreign language again because of how much time I've been with my English speaking family and really need the speaking outlet. Natty is as pleasant as ever- we are oh so grateful for the lovely personality God has given her. She has just started the "why" phase- asking that often complicated question about half the time we tell her something. She loves Clifford books, playing in dirt and water, taking walks, sculpting with play-doh, eating and dancing/singing. She's starting to enjoy other kids more, too, and I am thinking of finding a class to enroll her in after our parents are gone in order for her to have a more creative outlet and make new friends. Overall, we are feeling so thankful for the time we've had together as a family and know it was so important for us as we continue to wonder what the future looks like for us and our ministry. Thanks for continuing to pray.