Redemption

So, we just got spanked at euchre again by Scotty's parents. We almost won...for real. So, after saying good-bye, I find myself still up after some people have gone to bed- a twist on the usual. I'm not a night person. I've been thinking about writing a blog about something I've been thinking about, but feel like it's one of those ideas that only the tip of your brain grabs a hold of and you're not sure you even totally understand it, much less are you capable of expressing it to other people. But, I'll try. So, I've found as I grieve that it's incredibly helpful to hear the stories of other moms and dads who have lost children as well. The ups and downs they experienced, the lessons learned, the real, rawness of their hearts. I hope my blog will one day serve the same purpose to another poor soul who will forever have a piece of her missing. And then I realize again that even though I can relate to these women, they can't walk in my shoes with me. Grief is a solitary experience. So then I get sad thinking about that and have to remind myself that the Lord is here and that He knows what I am going through. But that feels different because He hasn't written a blog about it... You know what I'm saying? It just doesn't feel as tangible. But I know that the suffering the Lord has endured is completely incomparable to what I am going through now. I was talking to the Lord about this the other day and still wanting to feel convinced that we're in this together. Then I had an idea. It might not be a completely theologically correct one, so bear with me. If Christ's death on the cross was God's plan to redeem man and be a sacrifice for sin once and for all- that must include the effect of sin on the world, right? In other words, because Adam and Eve (who I am really unhappy with right now) chose to disobey God, sin and brokenness entered the world and terrible things happen that aren't in line with God's expressed will- like natural disasters and babies dying. So, when Christ died, was it not only for the sins that people commit but for the terrible things that happen as a result of sin- like Zion's death? If that's the case, as I have always imagined it, at some point as He hung on that cross taking on the sins of all His children from all time, He also took on the death of my son and experienced that pain. So not only does He know it but He's felt it. He's felt what I'm feeling and we're in this together. It's nice to have that great Someone to walk through this with and I pray He will continually strengthen my faith and hope to remember that He is here.