Back online

Well, as much as I enjoy Facebook, it is not what has kept me from blogging. Our internet company, who was doing a trial run with us in this area, finally decided to start charging us, but didn't inform us. So, we assumed for a bit that the internet was down, because sometimes it just goes down unexplainably. Then we actually called and they informed us that they had shut it down cause we hadn't paid. You would wonder how we were supposed to know they were going to start charging us, but you sometimes just stop asking the obvious questions and do what needs to be done. So, it's taken a week or so to get someone out to push the magic buttons that turn it back on- and here we are. Ahhhhh...to have internet again in the house. Having a baby and being homebound a bit is tough when there is no internet to connect you with friends around the world.

Anyway, I'm not sure I can remember all we've been up to in the past few weeks. The big news is that the new constitution passed on Sunday- which means many things, many of which I'm not totally sure of. Check out this article for more info: http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2009/01/25/bolivia-newconstitution.html. We had the day off for the big vote, as there is to be no vehicle usage or gathering in groups on vote days- so no church. Scotty had plans to go help our neighbors paint their mostly finished home, but they never showed...so, we had a wonderful day to ourselves with Natalie. We took in a fantastic Piper sermon, as well as some devo and prayer time together, a walk, some reading, yummy food, etc... It was truly a rest day. Scotty started teaching Algebra 2 a few days a week at the Christian school as a big favor to the director. We're really hoping it will be a chance to get to know some of the kids and their families, always wanting to give those who don't attend church the opportunity to come to ours. I've spent a fair amount of time helping Natalie get into a good nap routine during the day- she had gotten to the point where she was only sleeping 30 mins at a time, or less. That was tough for me and I think for her too. We're doing better now, but it's a bit tougher to try to plan events around her naps. I have really been working through a lot of issues as I learn to be a wife/mom/missionary. I want to set up a pattern for my baby to thrive in, while being flexible. I want to balance ministry and time with friends- still thinking about the needs of my child to not be out when she needs to be in. I fight my natural introversion that keeps me from picking up the phone and calling women who need to talk when I am home with my baby. I want to know how to support my husband in the many ministry areas he is involved in, while not getting bitter or jealous that he is able to get out more or see more people. I have a long way to go in figuring it all out, and probably will never do it perfectly, but am learning a lot about being obedient and living out to God's glory the different roles He has given me.

Scotty & Lisa's update from Bolivia

Happy New Year from the Misers in Bolivia!

We're posting our newsletter here in the blog in case you couldn't see it in the email format we just sent out or else to encourage you to sign up to get it in your email inbox if you don't already! Hope you enjoy these photos and recent events in our lives…

Christmas Eve

Ericka and Hugo arrived with their 2 sons, Pablo and Jose, at about 4 pm to start the holiday festivities. We put on some Christmas music while Ericka started laying out all the ingredients in the kitchen for picana, a chicken, beef, and lamb soup. Christmas Eve is the time when Bolivian families get together to open presents and eat this traditional meal at midnight. We have started the tradition of sharing this special evening with our good friends, the Ramirez family. While Scotty taught the guys how to play Settlers of Catan, our favorite board game, Natalie and I hung out in the kitchen while Ericka wildly chopped, grated, spiced and boiled in preparation for our feast. Both families would have preferred a non-traditional, earlier meal time, but it was still 8:30 before we sat down to dinner. The picana was wonderful and we were filled by it and the time of devotion we spent after dinner, contemplating why Christ came to earth. This friendship and participation in a Bolivian custom is a true gift to us at Christmastime.

A New Home for the Mamanis

Picture a family of four: Pastor Edgar, wife Becky, 14-year old son Daniel, and one-year old Sami. Now imagine them hanging out in a bedroom, surrounded by boxes of their possessions, with 2 beds to share between the 4 of them. This room is located in the house of Edgar's parents which is also shared by his siblings and their families. This is what the Mamani family has called home for several years. Pastor Edgar has been praying, saving, and seeking financial help so that his family could have a home of their own and some space to raise their 2 boys. Unfortunately, Edgar is the only Christian in his family and is often taken advantage of by his relatives to pay more than his fair share of bills, groceries and other family expenses. Recently, a friend of ours mentioned that her aunt was selling a small home on a decent plot of land. Our colleagues and Scotty and I had the great privilege of contributing to the house fund, having also joined the Mamani family in prayer over the last year that God would supply a new home for them. Along with an interest-free loan that is designated to help national pastors and their own saved income (Becky has been working two jobs as well as taking care of their children!), they were able to purchase this property in December and move in right before Christmas. How great it is to see the smiles on their faces as they share with us the new freedom they feel in owning their own home. And we give thanks with them in recognizing how the Lord does all things well in His perfect timing and will.

Don't Waste Your Next 5 Months

Of course we have set some goals for this New Year, but recognize how different this year will be from many. We are planning on taking our home assignment from June to December of 2009 and so have the unique challenge of considering how to make the best of 5 short months of ministry here in La Paz. Scotty has kick-started the new year by preaching 3 Sundays in a row on "The New Creation in the New Year (2 Cor. 5:17)". For various reasons, he will not be able to continue in the theological course he's been taking for 1½ years, but has the opportunity instead to fill a much needed role as an Algebra 2 teacher at Highlands. This Christian international school located just on the other side of our small neighborhood of Mallasilla is where we have been holding our church services and where we plan to eventually send our children. We have a special relationship with them and see this as a neat way of deepening our interactions as well as opening doors to reach the students and their families, many of whom are not Christians. Scotty has seen a great need among the men of Mallasilla Bible Church for a study that will challenge these fathers and husbands to fulfill the roles God has for them and hold each other accountable to living holy and purposeful lives. He'll be meeting weekly with them to lead a study of John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life in Spanish, with the aim of finishing before we leave in June. Adding these things to the varied responsibilities he has as a leader of IBM will keep Scotty plenty busy for the next 5 months!

Mama Lisa

My new, constantly evolving role as a mother is one that has been a source of much joy and challenge, continually bringing me before the throne with the desperate need of God's strength and wisdom to permeate my life. Natalie is a beautiful, happy, relaxed baby who instantly wins over all she meets. My hope is to balance this blessed job of taking care of her daily needs with visiting women from church and in the neighborhood, as well as participating in the new, weekly woman's Bible study that is being held nearby. My weekly goal is to have at least one family, couple or individual over for a meal to create and strengthen friendships within the church community. I also hope to help us become more organized in the way we communicate with each of you, doing that more frequently and personally.

Please join our Support Team!

God has graciously provided for all of our needs through your generous support ever since we (separately) hit Bolivian soil in 2003. Now, with a new fiscal year and little Natalie recently joining Team Miser, we need to boost our support level with SIM. If you would be interested in joining our support team, please contact us or you can begin giving here!

We Can't Wait to Visit You This Year!

This past November was the first time we've been home in over 2 years, and the trip was too quick to do much more than briefly see our families and introduce them to Natty. Some might think that 6 months is a long time to be away from ministry in Bolivia (we think so too!), but we see such value in being able to personally connect with our 5 supporting churches and supporters in 14 different states! Scotty will also be able to take a few seminary classes, taking him a few steps further to receiving his masters in Christian Thought from Gordon Conwell in Charlotte. We also have the need to raise more support now that our little daughter has come along. These 6 months will be a special time to travel, visit with you all, see our families, rest, study and ultimately be more prepared to return to Bolivia. Stay tuned to see if you can help meet the various needs we will have when we are in Charlotte and Florida!

Contact Information

Our permanent email address is scottynlisa@gmail.com

Our mailing address in Bolivia: Casilla 3-12052, La Paz, Bolivia, S. America

Our blog: Scotty & Lisa's big fat blog

Our Mission: SIM USA, PO Box 7900, Charlotte, NC 28241

The new creature in the new year

Scotty has been preaching at IBM the last 3 weeks on the new creature in the new year. It's been a great exercise for him to have this challenge to communicate God's word in Spanish as well as a reminder for us personally to not set goals or make resolutions without seeking the Holy Spirit's direction and empowering to carry them out.

I had to take a couple pics of Natty in this adorable outfit that my friend Jana gave me. As I'm figuring out, there are many outfits that are labeled one thing but seem to fit differently that they would lead me to believe. This one says "6 months" but is just fitting her perfectly right now at 3 1/2 months. The skirt won't slide over her chunky thighs for much longer. The first pic shows that no matter what your age, it's not flattering to a lady to take a picture from below her waist...The second one is much cuter.

Natalie isn't sleeping through the night yet and actually seems to be going through a phase of sleeping less than she has been. But, she smiles a lot, is learning to laugh (especially when Daddy tickles her feet with his beard), loves to grab at the toys that hang above her on her play mat, and definitely gets excited when we walk in the room. She is an absolute joy and receives much attention from the neighbors and our church friends- hopefully it won't go to her head.

This and that

It's rainy season. It's holiday-time here in Bolivia, which continues through the end of February, after Carnaval. That means the days are slow and lazy. Scotty and I are enjoying more free time and trying to do more stuff together and with friends. I'm loving it. Natty loves it. Here are a few of my favorite things (key Sound of Music soundtrack):

1. Morning nursing sessions with Scotty sitting next to me in bed drinking coffee. Making Natty laugh afterward.

2. Morning walks around the neighborhood with Scotty and Natty. Stopping in at the local market to say hi to the ladies and buy fruit.

3. Inviting friends over for meals and games.

4. Watching it go from hot and sunny to cool and rainy with big, breathtaking clouds above the mountains...and then back (gotta love rainy season).

5. Cooking new recipes and eating leftovers.

6. Taking walks in town at night to get ice cream and people watch. Walking along the river and in the park with the stroller.

7. Doing devos and praying together in the afternoon.

8. Catching up with old friends.

9. Thinking and talking about how to make the best use of our 6 months in Bolivia this year (the last 6 months we'll be in the states!).

10. Bedtime with Natty- bath (sometimes that involves a lot of crying), PJ's and sitting on the bed to chat and read a story with Mom and Dad- so sweet!

It can be a big challenge during this time to feel like you are doing ministry. The church has all but shut down. School is out for the summer and people travel or do a lot of stuff together as a family. We see an opportunity to do a lot of laid-back "ministering"- just interacting with people in our small group and growing in friendship. The lot of us went out for lunch after church on Sunday...fun times and yummy chicken. We've had a few families over and want to continue to do that. It's strange how things really do get quiet for several months at this time every year. Scotty is preaching for the 3rd time in a row this Sunday- being the only leader left in town right now. But, he's on a roll with a good topic- the new creation in the new year. I think we're making the best of it and I'm thankful to be together more as a family.

Happy New Year!

Starting the new year with a smile.

Holiday fun

Christmas seemed to sneak up on us this year. Probably because we got home on the 11th of Decmeber and then spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything in order and the house put together after unpacking the loads of stuff we brought back from the states (mostly for Natty!). We also had a Christmas program at church the Sunday before and sadly, the wake and funeral of the grandmother of our good friend Jimena to attend. The neat thing is to see how Natalie really opens up paths into peoples lives. As we walked into the wake (which is basically where all the friends and relatives of the deceased sit around the casket and wait for people to come and grieve with them), there were many people looking very sad with eyes red from crying. But, as soon as Natalie came in the room, the old ladies brightened up and out came the smiles and the hands to hold her. I'm often not asked if a person can hold the baby, she's just taken from my arms and I have to let go. One of the older aunts of our friend took her from me and paraded her around the room, getting everyone smiling and cooing- a nice break from the time of mourning they were going through.

Christmas morning was relaxing. Natalie got up fairly early to eat and then we all sat on the bed to open stockings. I hadn't planned on getting anything for her, since she received so many gifts back home. But, Scotty surprised me by buying this fun, squishy lobster (that's about her size) that we had seen in a store that she just loved. She always lights up when she sees his big claws flailing. We had also decided to keep things simple this year, seeing as though we had bought plenty for ourselves when we were home. We're also hoping to establish customs at Christmastime that keep our children focused on Christ's birth and life and not go overboard with presents. We had a nice walk around the neigborhood after breakfast. Christmas breakfast in my family has always been cinnamon rolls. Well, as a new, often tired mommy, I didn't want to go through the process of trying to make them. So, we happend upon cinnamon roll flavored pop-tarts in the grocery store and sprang for the somewhat expensive imported treat instead. Then it was off to the Hursts for the afternoon and a scrumptious meal with some of our missionary colleagues and friends.

The night before, Christmas Eve, is actually the big holiday here and we have started the tradition (a year ago) of eating picana, a meaty soup, with our good Bolivian friends the Ramirez family. Ericka brought over all the fixins and prepared the soup at our house while Hugo and their 2 sons played Settlers of Catan with Scotty. It was a neat night of sharing, playing, laughing, eating lots, and having a little devotional at the end to remind us of what Christmas is all about. How we love that family!

Things are always very slow around the holidays, but we're hoping to have at least one family over each week from the church to try to get to know people better and share lives. There are many people hurting at this time because of deaths in the family or illness and we remember how Christ came to heal and love the hurting and want to be ministers of this grace too.

$60 treasures

This might be a fairly random post, but I haven't done random for a while... So, normally it is very cheap to live in Bolivia. A bus fare to a city 8 hours away costs $4. A large meal in a high end restaraunt will run you about $7. But, then there are other items that can only be imported from other countries, usually the states, Brazil or Chile, that cost significantly more than you would pay back home. Cars, for example, can be outrageously priced because they all have to be brought in from other countries. Then, if your vehicle is anything other than a Toyota or Nissan, you pay like crazy for replacement parts. Basic houseware items like plastic storage bins, trash cans, rugs, etc... that you could pick up at Wal-Mart (and find a plethora of all in the same place) for cheap, cost more than a month of groceries. We've been searching for a new trashcan for the kitchen for months, not willing to pay the $40 that most places were asking for the same, poorly made, small, plastic can that we had bought the first time, which broke quickly. Today, as we were grocery shopping, a shiny new can presented itself at the end of one of the rows. I think Scotty must have seen a sunbeam shining down on it and heard angels singing. I just saw the price tag of $399 Bolivianos and said, "how can we pay almost $60 for a trash can?!" Scotty presented what seemed to be a rehearsed speech about how perfect this beauty would be in our kitchen and for all time and I realized that we had searched high and low and were destined to pay the price. So, I stuck it in the cart. I've got it pictured here with one of our favorite treasures that we just picked up in the states- a stainless steel french press that cost about the same. We've broken about 4 glass ones in the last year, so we were ready to splurge and this one was actually significantly less money than all the others of the same size that we had found online. Anyway, there you have it...sometimes you have to suck it up and pay more than you know you could find something for at Wal-mart.

Another random event that happened to me as I was driving home yesterday. I found myself following an old, beat-up pick-up truck with 2 cows standing in the bed. Large cows with udders swinging right in my line of sight. The man had tied a rope behind their rumps, as if that would stop them from tumbling out the back if he had to stand on the brakes. It was pretty funny to watch them sway back and forth as he drove over speed bumps and almost loose their footing when he changed lanes too quickly. Then there was the herd of llamas that rounded the corner onto the major road we were taking home this afternoon...

Now that we have a baby, going out on the town is a big event for us. The other night we met up with some of the international school teachers for Mexican food. Natalie had been fussy all day and I was a bit nervous about how she was going to do. As soon as we got there, she became mesmerized by the TV, which was showing awesome '80's videos. She was quiet and content for a while, had some dinner herself, and then sacked out in her carseat. On the way home, I got a hankerin' for ice cream- the kind with chunks in it- which is uncommon here. Thankfully, a new ice cream place opened up this past year that has some mix in options. They are an open air venue with no seating, so we ordered our cream and sat in the car chatting and watching the people walk by. I told Scotty that it was a real treat to do things like that, which never seemed too exciting before, now that we have a baby. I like being able to enjoy more the simple pleasures of life.

New day

Happy baby with color in her cheeks.

I so appreciate the encouraging words and prayers of so many of you regarding my last blog. As I expected, I woke up feeling much more hopeful about the whole situation with Natalie, although I still get a little concerned if she starts to cry without a good reason- that's what she did when she wasn't getting enough oxygen. But, even though her breathing seemed a bit delayed last night, she showed no signs of struggling or lack of air throughout her sleep- and she slept a normal night, which she didn't do on the first night of being in a "new" place during our travels. She has been herself today and has retained almost her normal amount of rosiness and given us lots of smiles. I have to thank God that she has recovered quickly and hasn't needed the oxygen after mid-day yesterday. I'm thankful for all our friends, and even those who don't know us well, bringing our needs before our good Father. I am always reminded when seeing my baby struggling, whether it's with big things or little, that God knows to a so-much-greater degree the hardship of watching His child in pain. I know that He has ordained each of Natalie's days and loves her more than me. I continue to ask for faith and trust, even though I know these things, so that the knowledge will pervade my thoughts and emotions and change the way I view the events of my life.

Fear or Faith

Many of you have commented on how you enjoy my honesty on the blog- my thoughts and struggles as a woman of God, a wife, a mother, a missionary. Well, today has been a rough day and I feel like sharing. We boared the plane late last night to make our overnight return trip to Bolivia. We were excited to be going back to what has become home and reconnect with friends here. Natty did awesome on the trip- sleeping the whole night and having to be woken up to eat. I started to become a little nervous as we neared La Paz, knowing that not only do a lot of adults, but several babies I know have had a really hard time entering into the altitude. We had our friend Tim, who was driving our truck up to get us, have an oxygen tank on hand, just in case. As soon as we unloaded from the plane, Natty started getting quieter and quieter. Then she started whimpering and getting pale. I told Scotty I didn't think she was doing too well. I kept my hand over her chest, wanting to feel the reassuring rise and fall of breathing normally. Too many times I didn't feel the rising that I was hoping for and would call her name and try and get her to respond. By the time we finally asked a police man to let me through customs to head toward the medical room, I was panicking. Natalie was pale, limp, and had blue around her eyes and lips. I was pleading with the Lord and trying to stay calm at the same time. The doctor, or whatever he was, was very nice and immediately pulled out a large mask to hold close to Natalie's nose and she was soon coming back into alertness and regaining color. Again, I held back tears and tried not to think of what could have happened or might happen when we left the airport. We were able to stay until Scotty could find our luggage and get Tim in with our oxygen tank. We decided to head to the clinic where she was born, just to see what they would have us do. They watched her and kept her on oxygen for another 45 mins until her blood/oxygen saturation level was good. They sent us on our way and told us what to watch for and to keep oxygen on her until noon. I can't even tell you the fears that were looming in my heart and mind the whole morning. We were exhausted from not sleeping much on an overnight flight, being affected ourselves by returning into altitude and not just a little stressed by what we just experienced. Although the medic in the airport was nice, I got the overall feeling he wasn't sure how to deal with babies or what level of oxygen to give them. He was trying to send me on my way and I asked if we could stay longer. He then turned down the oxygen and Natty started crying and turning blue again. The people in the hospital are always somewhat helpful, but the equipment looks quite outdated and often doesn't give good readings. I must admit, I have a hard time trusting doctors in this country. So, here I am, a new mom going through a range of emotions. I begin to wonder what would happen if something even more drastic were to occur to Natalie- would she get adequate care? Am I putting my baby in danger by living here? Is this what God wants for us? Can I really raise a family in an enviornment that is so dangerous? Added to this was the news that our good friends just returned on an emergency visit to the states because they found a serious heart problem in their baby- and it could possibly be altitude related! What an overwhelming day it's been...never has transition back to Bolivia been so hard, never have I wanted so badly to get back on the plane and go back to where it's "safe" and where my family is. Although I can't honestly say I'm totally at peace with what's happened, I do see how God is going to really stretch my faith now that we have a baby. I will have to choose whether I'm going to live in fear of what could happen or live in faith, knowing that the Lord is in control, even when hard things happen. I'm still feeling tired and a little overwhelmed and not ready to leap back in to life as we know it. I know I will sleep fitfully tonight, wondering if my little girl is still breathing. But, I also know and trust that God's mercies will be new and fresh in the morning. I hope in that.

Last Day

Well, today is our last full day in the states. Tomorrow we board a plane with more than twice what we came here with, and head back to Bolivia. The time here has been great- very full. We've spent a lot of good time with family, playing games, sharing meals, playing with the baby. It's been neat to see how she has changed even in this little amount of time and cool to share that with the grandparents. She's grown so much and although she has no more of a routine, eats more frequently during the day (I seem to be doing this as well), and generally remains unpredictable from day to day, I feel like God has given me the ability to relax and take each day as it comes and not expect certain things of an infant that she really can't fulfill. It's definitely not worth the stress that I can often conjure from wanting her to fit into a specific mold according to what the baby experts say. I am just thankful she is getting enough rest, enough to eat and is healthy and happy! Plus, I realize we have yet another transition to weather as we return to life in Bolivia and know that will shake things up too.

It's always a little surreal to leave this shiny, sparkly country and return to the impoverished city of El Alto where the airport is located. The initial shock wears off as we wind our way down into the city and eventually stop in the neighborhood where we live, which has its share of nice homes and wealth. And yet, I think we need to be reminded as we return from this place where we have been so abundantly blessed that there are so many more people that have not even the dream of things we take for granted. We were challenged in many ways on this trip, as I expected, with the temptation to want "stuff" just cause it looks cool and we can't buy it back in La Paz. I've struggled with wanting new clothes just so I can look fashionable, even though those fashions will change again next year. It's a mental and spiritual struggle to keep my eyes focused on the eternal things and on how God is using us and will use us in the future- based solely on our faith in Him and not in how nice our things are. We're excited to go back and see our friends, get our baby back into her "normal" surroundings and see what God has prepared for us.

First Date

By the way, Scotty and I met on Thanksgiving, 2003. That was a good day- but I never would have expected all that has come since then!

We had our first date since Natty was born last week. We left her in the capable hands of my parents and set out for a fun night in our favorite local pizza restaraunt, Satchels. On the way we stopped at a used book store and enjoyed a bit of browsing- a rare luxury we don't have in La Paz. Then to Satchels- an eclectic, fun, delicious spot set in a removed area of my hometown. Besides the indoor seating, they've scooped out the insides of an old VW van and installed a couple picnic table style booths and we were lucky enough to find a spot inside! It was a cold night, but the little electric heater set on the floor and lots of twinkly lights made it a cozy spot for our grub. While waiting for our pie, we perused the funky restaraunt store filled with things like old pez dispensers, bacon-style bandaids, fake facial hair, etc... We chatted and relaxed and didn't worry about the baby. It was great! I love my husband. :)

Thankful

Everyday should be a day to give thanks to the Lord for His amazing goodness- in the hard times and the easy times. But, today I think especially of all that I have been blessed with. I'm in the United States being well taken care of by my family. I woke up in a warm bed, next to a godly husband in the house of my in-laws who love us very much. I have a healthy baby who has brought so much joy and sanctification into our lives. I never lack food or anything else that is necessary for a comfortable life. I get to see my parents again before going back to Bolivia. I get to serve God in a foreign country, one that we have come to love and see as one of our many homes. We have wonderful friends of all nationalities waiting to see us again in La Paz. I have been forgiven much and have the hope of spending eternity with my God whose love is better than life. I am blessed and I am thankful.

Home!

We've been back in the US for about a week now and a lot has happened. Natalie did pretty well on her first plane trip, although she was too interested in the lights, people, sounds and movement to sleep very well. We were out of the house at 5am and didn't roll into Orlando until 8pm and she slept less than 2 hours that whole time! That made for a very long trip for me but she slept well that night to make up for it. The days have gone by quickly as we've tried to pack in some shopping, visiting people, and 3 days of wedding activities for my good friend Jennie. I am realizing now what everyone warned me about- it's really different travelling with a newborn! Some days have been better than others, but Natalie has probably had some of her more difficult days while we've been here. Maybe they are harder for me because she lost any sense of schedule that she was working her way into. Some days she'll sleep tons and eat infrequently, other days she'll want to eat every hour and not sleep at all! I'm trying to be flexible and understand that there are many changes, both in her and her surroundings, that are contributing to what is going on. It's so great to be with my parents so that Scotty and I can get out for short spurts to run errands or jog or whatever. We're hoping to have our first baby-free date this week at our favorite local pizza joint.

The first day back, we were enamored with the US. Everything is nice and clean and green (at least in Florida) and so many coveniences! We have been quite spoiled here by our friends and family. But, we continue to think of our beloved Bolivia, our friends there and the church. I know God is going to use this time to really refresh us and get us excited to be back in the place where He has called us to serve. Although we are thrilled to be back for now and enjoy all that America has to offer, our hearts remain in La Paz. But, oh, how I wish Bolivia had a Target...

Mastitis blues

Well, I realized today I hadn't written a blog for quite some time. I realized almost a week ago that I did, in fact, have mastitis- thanks to many knowledgable medical friends and no thanks to doctors here. Anyway, the last few days have been a blur of pumping, warm compresses, massages, frustrated breast feeding, more pumping, crying (me and the baby!), fussiness (Natty had a growth spurt in the middle of my issues, meaning less milk than normal and cranky baby), etc... It has been the toughest week since she was just born. I've done a lot of venting, a lot of question asking, and sadly, a lot of doubting. Everything and anything has caused me to worry, be anxious, stress. The last 2 days, I've spent a lot of time praying, reciting scripture (or at least bits and pieces I remember), and seeking God's hand in all of this. It's still not over and my body is far from back to normal, but I have more peace that God is in control and will move us through this time. We're also in the throes of packing and trying to get everything prepared to be home for a month. We've got 2 more days to wrap it all up! I'm excited to get home and have some more hands to help me with the baby. I'm especially excited to see my friends and be in a wedding! I'm realizing how tiring and full-on this last month and a half has been since Natty came along and know that I need some rest and refreshment. Hopefully, we'll be wise about our time and how we spend it, trying not to do too much. Thankfully, we are in a spot here where we can leave ministry responsibilities in the capable hands of others and we look forward to coming back with new direction and strength to serve.

Grace

We had one of those days yesterday. Everything started out fine and then by the afternoon, I was feeling like I had the flu. I didn't pay much attention to the fact that one of my breasts had started to hurt the night before, but I quickly realized that my fever and chills must be related to that somehow. Then, Natalie launches into a fussy, crying period that didn't end until late last night. Scotty was gone for the afternoon, so I was trying to rest, but not able to keep Natalie asleep for more than 20 mins at a time. I felt terrible and had a few of those moments where I though "I can't handle this!" At that point, you feel like all the confidence you were gaining as a new mom disappears and you wonder if things are ever going to be better, and how are you going to get through- lots of overly dramatic feelings like that. Scotty came home and gave me a hand and I started calling medical friends to inquire about what might be going on in my body. Mastitis was the general consensus and I was encouraged to seek the help of a doctor. I called my gynecologist, who was inconveniently out of town. A pediatrician answered the phone and gave me a few tips on how to help things. He said if it seemed to get worse, I should call a certain doctor, which I assumed at the time was him. Then my friend gave me the number of her gynecologist, who was also out of town- must be a convention going on. He gave me the number of the same doctor to call as his stand in. I started worrying that if I didn't get on antibiotics, something drastic could happen. I called my pediatrician and she said she wouldn't be able to prescribe anything for me- I should talk directly to my gynecologist. Arg!! So, I called back the original pediatrician who was answering my gynecologist's phone (are you confused yet?) and asked if I could come in- it was now about 6pm, getting dark, and starting to rain. He said "yes" and when we got to the building, we asked the secretaries where the office of this doctor was, and they acted clueless and said there was no one by that name. We asked if there was a pediatrician in the building and they said "no". So we went downstairs, dumbfounded, because we were in the exact spot where the doctor had told me he could be found. I called him again and he confirmed the location. The problem was, I couldn't understand him when he said his last name because my cell phone kept cutting out. I caught the first name and we found him on the sign, asked the secretaries again (who seemed to be sharing a little secret between themselves on our account) and they quickly directed us to the right office (why didn't they mention before that there is a pediatrician in this building??). We sat down a bit confused after explaining to the even more confused personal secretary for this doctor why we were there and I started putting the puzzle pieces together. This doctor had told me to call a different doctor if things got worse, which is who I was asking for, and I thought he was talking about himself. So, now I realize that we've shown up on his doorstep and maybe he can't help us at all. But, here we are, having come through rain and I'm starting to feel lousy again and we're just waiting and waiting. I can feel the tears coming on, wondering if we're going to have to go find this other doctor instead, Natalie is starting to cry in her car seat, and I just wanted to crawl into bed and make it all go away. Finally we are seen and the doctor is nice and gentle and reassuring and tells me there's no infection, just a blocked duct. He gives me some instructions and we get to go home. Scotty takes Natalie, who seems to be eating much more frequently (growth spurt?) and she begins to scream, without ceasing, for what seemed like an eternity. We finally give her gas drops, I nurse her to calm her down, and she finally falls asleep. Her night went better and we got some rest. All this to say, I was super stressed and just wanted my baby to stop crying and go to sleep. I felt totally out of control, sad, helpless, tired, on the edge of breaking. But, God never lets the stress/tension get so bad that we spontaneously combust. She stopped crying, we all fell asleep, and the routine continued mostly as normal. I woke up feeling better, she's serenely sleeping in her crib right now with that angelic little face, and God's grace prevails- His mercies are new every morning. Suddenly, all those thoughts from last night seem far away and we've moved past the crisis. My body still has some healing to do and it's still too early to say how she'll be feeling today- but there is peace again. If only in those moments of craziness, we could remember that we are not alone and that we will get through by the grace of God. If only I could trust more in Him and not let myself get so upset. I am thankful for God's grace in calming my baby, in taking away my fever, in giving us a peaceful night, in providing an amazing husband who's willing to watch the screaming baby while I try to rest, in bringing on a new day full of possibilities. How would I survive as a mom without this grace?

Sacrificial living

So, apart from all the lessons you learn having a newborn- patience, selflessness, trusting more in the Lord, etc...(these have all been good/hard lessons for me lately), God is also convicting Scotty and me of several other major things. One of these things is greed and sacrificial living. Scotty is a generous person by the grace of God. We are both cheap, but he is able to freely give a little (or a lot) more than I am. He has always challenged me in that way and now we are both being challenged to an even greater degree. There is a book we are reading together that I highly recommend by John Piper called "What Jesus Demands of the World". It starts off fairly basic, the things you need to know/do to be a Christian, but grows increasingly intense. The last chapter we read yesterday was about storing up for yourselves treasures in heaven and not on earth. This is an idea that has been rolling around in our heads for a while now and last night we chatted once again about how we are living. Do we give sacrifically- not just from the abundance we have been given? Christ calls us to live in a way where we give and it leaves us in a spot, maybe uncomfortable or scary, where we are completely dependent on Him to provide. We have been blessed with a beautiful home, 2 cars, all the "stuff" we could need (and then some) and land to build a home on. We are surrounded by people who have very little. We are also approaching a return to the States- where we feel we need to buy new clothes, new books, baby stuff, and everything else we haven't been able to get here in the last 2 years. But what of it do we NEED, really need. We are taking second and third looks at what our shopping list looks like, knowing that the stores and the ads and people and culture all tell us we must have "new" and "fashionable". But, is that treasure that is eternal? I'm not saying I'm not going to go shopping and buy some stuff- but how I long to do it with an eternal perspective and with my true treasure being found in Christ and not worldly goods- because that is really a temptation for me. And so we are praying for the mind of Christ and the desire to really give of ourselves, our time, our resources to further the kingdom. What a challenge this is!

Mommy daze

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged- and I'm sure you can all imagine why. Natalie has kept me pretty busy and we've actually been getting out more and more to run errands with Daddy, meet friends, and have meetings. She usually does quite well when she's out of the house, I think she likes it more than being inside. I'm starting to get more comfortable taking her out now that I see she typically does really well. I guess I'm starting to become more comfortable with her in general. Once you stop worrying about whether or not they're going to cry or if you're going to know the exact correct thing to do all the time- things get a bit more relaxed. I still find myself sometimes sitting in the house, in the middle of coooking or writing emails or cleaning, holding myself a bit rigid out of fear that I'll hear that little wail coming from the bedroom. Sometimes I have to remind myself to relax my muscles and be OK if she doesn't take a perfect nap or seems a little fussy. But, she keeps herself to a nice little schedule (if you could really call it that) and I can actually get some stuff done during the day. Everyday we love her more and rejoice in her life, her chubby cheeks, her intense blue-grey eyes, and the thoughts of life as a family.

Today, we returned to the house of the Alfaros to have church. It brought back sweet memories of when the Mallasilla Bible Church had first begun and all the growth and worship that took place there. We were there today because we were holding our second baptism service and they have a small pool on the back porch. There were 4 believers giving their public testimony of faith and it was, as always, a neat time to see these friends taking a very important step. Two of them are part of our small group and were convicted to be baptized after we studied this command together, and Scotty had the privilege of assisting Edgar in their baptism. It's great to grow together in our understanding of the Word.

Busy days

Yesterday was Natalie and my first outing when I knew I'd have to breastfeed while we were away from home. I timed it that way so that I'd get some practice in. I love that she falls asleep almost instantly upon being strapped into her carseat, but as soon as we pulled in to our destination, she was up and hungry. Scotty and I pulled up a park bench outside of the store where we wanted to shop and I managed to situate her, myself and the sling in such a way as I could feed her discreetly. Of course, discreet is not as important here as it would be in the states, but I'd like to practice discretion nonetheless. She did alright and it was a great chance for Scotty and I to enjoy the gorgeous weather, stare at the mountains, and talk- I had been wanting a chance to sit outisde since she was born, and I think that was the first time I got to do it. Then Scotty asked if we could continue feeding her while we walked around the store- sure! So, I finished up the feed, in her sling, while looking at cool Bolivian handicrafts. After that, we took a stroll around and did a bit of window shopping, making sure not to push myself too hard while I continue to recover from the surgery. We drove home with me feeling like I had conquered a big fear of breastfeeding in public and realizing that I'm finally reaching a point where I can do more stuff with her outside of the house. After lunch, we went to Greg and Faith's so that they could see Natalie and we could chat unhurridedly with them- something we rarely get to do but always desire. We had a nice time hanging out in their living room, talking politics, movies, and baby and loving that these are our close friends and coworkers on the field. Then I had a few visitors that evening and realized later that I had maybe tried to do too many things that day. Thankfully, Natalie had a pretty good night of sleep and so we got some rest too. Today, I was looking forward to a day in the park with my good mommy friends. We had another beautiful day of sunny skies and warm temps and spent a couple hours on blankets, surrounded by ducks, a small lake, flowers, and good company. We talked babies, I got lots of needed advice, we took tons of pics, and Natalie did great! She stayed awake the whole time, no crying, and seemed to really enjoy lying on a blanket next to some older, chatty babies. She didn't say a whole lot, but we'll get there eventually. Although you can see in the pic that she's quite a bit smaller than her friends, we measured length and feet and her feet are the same size as her 6 month friend and her length just a hair shorter than her 5 month friend. She's a long girl! Later in the day, I had an emotional moment and started to feel all those yucky thoughts surging into my mind of how I don't know what I'm doing- how could I let my baby get diaper rash? how am I going to know all the stuff I need to get for her while we're home so that I'm prepared for the next 6 months? what if her eating/sleeping doesn't even out a bit before we have to travel? etc... It's nasty and shows me that I still desperately need to rely on God, trust in Him, and not let myself dwell on the fears that arise. I prayed, had a nap, and am feeling much better. I realize that I don't allow myself to rest enough during the day and can become overwhelmed by the work of being a new mom, not to mention all the questions. I am constantly challenged to bring all my needs before the Lord, with thanksgiving, and know that His peace will surround me. What a great God we serve!

IBM first anniversary

Happy Birthday Iglesia Biblica de Mallasilla! Today, we celebrated our first year as a church- what a great opportunity to look back and rejoice in all that God has done and all He has brought us through! Scotty and I were unable to make it to the service, as it's still quite exhausting for me to be out for that long- plus the unknown of how Natalie will act for so many hours outside of the house. Breastfeeding in public is very normal here, with really no other options, and I haven't quite mastered that skill yet. All that to say, we just made it to the second part of the service, the anniversary celebration. We took a look back at how God joined a group of Christians already meeting here in Mallasilla with the team from our mother church in the home of a neighborhood family- the many neighbors who were invited and started attending- the new friendships that were formed- the Cuban doctors who received Christ (2 of whom are now back in Cuba, sharing their new hope with their families)- the first Baptism service- the miraculous raising of $185,000 and purchase of land for our future church site- the move to the nearby Christian school where we have room to grow and play- the small groups that were formed, etc... The church we came from sent one of their elders to preach, our pastors father-in-law, who is a pastor, came to speak and pray his blessings over us and all that God has for our future., and many friends and family members were also invited. Shortly after we arrived, us and the other missionary family that was pivotal in the start of the church were called up along with out pastor and his family to be prayed over. It was neat to bring Natalie up with us and realize that we are a family of 3 now and are introducing her into this blessed lifestyle of missionary service to the Lord. Our prayer is that her heart will be drawn toward the nations and sharing the love of Christ with them in however God has gifted her to do so. Although I was tired and a bit stressed from a tough morning, it was a breath of fresh air to be worshipping with our church again and be reminded that God is so much bigger than the little day to day frustrations, confusions, and trials that come my way with a newborn. Natalie was awesome and slept through everything. All the kids from the neighborhood came by and stared intently at her in her car seat, asking me if she opens her eyes (maybe thinking about how puppies don't open their eyes for a few days??), what the seat belt was for, if she was a girl or boy... Many other friends who haven't had the chance to see her also came by to give their warm congratulations, stare at her asleep in her seat, and offer their comments about her size, weight, color, etc... According to Bolivians, she's enormous (a little over 8 pounds) and looks like me (not in the enormous sense). It will be fun to get back into life little by little as she gets a bit older and share her more with the great friends God has surrounded us with.

Cold days and rainbows

We've had a strange few days of rain around here- a little early, since the rainy season doesn't start until December. Usually, October is beautiful and sunny and warm, for La Paz standards. I was getting excited about the warmth, imagining taking Natalie out in her sling (which I am working hard at getting her used to) and walking around the flatter parts of town. Then, a couple of days ago, it turned off cloudy, got very chilly (as it always does when the sun can't peep out), and rained, and hailed, and rained hard some more. We had water pouring in most of the windows of our house- a standard annoyance during the rainy months. A few more things to add to the list for our landlord... Yesterday, during a little break from the rain, we looked out our favorite picture window and saw the most intense rainbow we have ever seen! I was nursing Natty, so I didn't get the best view, but saw the full picture after Scotty snapped a few shots with our camera. How beautiful! I don't mind a little bit of rain, but the coldness that creeps quickly into the house (no central heating) and the dreary greyness can rapidly lead my moods downhill- especially if I'm already struggling with slightly wacky hormones and lots of interrupted sleep. That rainbow was a mood up-lifter and reminded me that God is not only a creative God, but one that has a purpose in all things, even cold days and dark clouds. One challenge with cold days and no heating is figuring out how to dress my baby. She is warm as long as she is in our room, as we keep a heater and humidifier going most of the day. But, as soon as I take her out to nurse her, the cold air hits and I start worrying about whether or not she's warm enough. Unfortunately, my newborn wardrobe consists mostly of light, cotton PJs- so I find myself putting at least 3 layers of whatever I can find that doesn't clash terribly on her. That makes for somewhat laborious diaper changes. My baby also has this fun trick where she saves up all her poop until you're changing her and then unloads it (this is probably more than some of you signed up for) mid-diaper change. Her skills continue from there as she times it just right so that just when you think she's run out and you've put a new, clean diaper on, she unloads again. This fun game can go on ad-naseum and ends with poop-stained outfits, Mommy or Daddy taking of 15 layers of clothes, making baby cold and whiny, and trying to find another onesie that has the little mits (for warmth) while Baby lays chilly and naked on the bed. Fun times... Anyway, I wanted to post this pic, because she is super cute, and because she's nice and stretched out- showing off her long limbs. Natalie is starting to fit into some of her 0-3 month stuff, some of which is plenty wide, but just barely long enough in the arms and legs. I'm afraid this is going to be her lot in life since she has 2 long-limbed parents. Well, enough chat about the baby- I could go on and on, as this consumes my entire life right now. I have started a Spanish Bible study that the women in the church are doing called Conversation Peace, about using our words for blessing. I'm hoping to join up with them within a few weeks and want to be up to date on my homework. It's good to have something outside of dirty diapers to focus on and challenges me spiritually as well as idiomatically (is that a word?). I am not speaking Spanish as much as I normally would these days and feel like my ability is dwindling a bit- this is helpful for that as well.