Sick baby.

To say that I worry a bit when my kids get sick is an understatement.  Ever since our experience with Zion, the slightest illness has me fighting for my faith and trust to believe that God is going to heal my baby.  The afternoon that Scotty went out of town, Sunday, Jubilee started to run a fever.  I assumed it was something minor, like teething issues, and we prayed she’d be fine while he was away.  Monday she was hot, but was acting OK, as though she were not too sick.  I had already scheduled her one-year check-up for that afternoon and waited throughout the day to see what the doctor thought was wrong with her.  When we took her temp at the pediatrician’s office, she was quite concerned that she was running 103.5 and wanted me to monitor her very closely and take a pee sample.  Well, we know all about pee samples here.  When Natty was little and running a high fever, we had to tape this little plastic bag on her to try to catch her pee.  It ended up being one of the most stressful experiences I’ve had with Natty’s health.  I had to take Jubilee downstairs to the pharmacy to get a pee collector, take her back up to wash her bottom real well in the public restroom sink, and then tape this bag on her.  Then we sat in the waiting room with a TV program playing what, of course, had to be a medical show about some horrible illness a young baby contracted and the trauma she and her parents went through to diagnose and treat her.  Well, I was already stressed out and this was not helping.  I ended up sitting around for 45 minutes waiting for my baby to pee (talk about a watched pot!) and then finally left because the dying baby on TV was not encouraging me at all.  That night, I put Natty and Jubilee with me in my room and slept little as I kept a close eye and ear on J, set multiple alarms to give her the next round of pain killers and listened to Natalie who lay awake for a couple hours after one particularly loud bout of crying from her baby sister.  The next day, the fever was about the same and Jubilee seemed to be feeling much worse.  I was tense all day, but had to leave her for a good part of the morning to attend a Father’s Day party at Natty’s school.  She seemed to feel worse and worse and by evening she had spiked another high fever, even though I had just given her a dose of ibuprofen.  By this time, I’m sick to my stomach from trying to handle all this without Scotty and am thinking I might need to take our baby into the emergency room for some blood tests.  For 2 solid days I spent almost every minute of the day fighting to trust, fighting to not freak out, fighting to find joy and telling myself that I serve a great God that loves me and my baby.  I spent a lot of mental and emotional energy on that and by Tuesday night, I couldn't keep it together any more.  I called a friend who got on the horn and within minutes had someone lined up to come stay with Natty at the house and another person to go with me to the hospital if I needed to.  I called a good friend in the US at least half a dozen times for medical advice and encouragement and had no less than 4 people asking me to call at any time of the night if I needed them.  By the time I went in to check Jubilee’s temp one more time in order to make a final decision, I knew I had a small army praying and available to me.  Praise God, her temp had dropped and I was pretty sure we’d make it through the night without a hospital trip.  The relief I felt when I felt a cooler head was palpable and I had a good cry- my heart swirling with a mix of gratitude, thankfulness and absolute recognition that no matter how weak my faith is, my God is faithful and takes care of me.  I am so humbled by the amazing friends he has given me here and being able to trust that even without Scotty’s presence, I had so many others that were there for me.  Things started out well on my birthday- with no fever.  But, as the day wore on, the baby wore out and by lunch she was hot and we had to make an emergency trip to the lab where they drew some blood.  Running around with a limp baby on my birthday, trying to find a lab open at lunch time is not my most favorite of birthday memories.  But, a few hours later when the tests came back, the doctor reported she just had a virus that we would have to wait out.  Yesterday, although still looking pretty pathetic, she seemed to be more herself.  Today, she is back to feeling pretty bad and sleeping a lot, but no fever.  So, the saga continues and although I know she has something that will eventually go away, my heart is a little tense as I watch my little one suffer.  I wonder if God, even knowing the eventual outcome, feels something like that when we suffer.  I know He knows our pain and walks with us.  I try to rest in His sovereignty and hope each time I go through these times it will come a bit more naturally to trust Him the next.

Good-bye Nana and Papa.

Last day's hiking activity with my parents and friends.

I think I just saw my parent's plane fly over our house.  They left fairly early this morning and since then I've enjoyed being in the quiet and cleaning, organizing, cooking, etc.  But, I can't say that there isn't sadness, too.  Natty started yesterday saying how she didn't want Nana and Papa to go.  She cried pretty hard this morning as they were leaving.  Good-byes have gotten so much more sad since children have come along.  Natty really gets it now- that we won't see Nana and Papa again for a long time.  It's hard to watch her suffer and know that in another reality, maybe we would see them all the time.  But, this is our reality and for the most part, we are used to living away from our families.  It's in times like these that you are faced with one of the losses you try not to think about too much that living oversees brings. I tried to remind Natty, and myself, that we were blessed to have 3 weeks with my parents and do lots of fun things together.  It was a great visit and we are thankful that our parents can make the trip here and share in our lives for a while.  I'm glad it's a sunny, happy sort of day outside and that Jubilee is sleeping long and giving me a few moments to reflect and work and pray.  I'm glad that there are things to look forward to in our lives this week and in the weeks to come.  I'm glad that one day, there will be no more good-byes and we will all be together with Christ, worshiping and playing forever.

Wedding!

Ready for the big event!

We had the great privilege of attending our house-helper, Fely's, oldest son's wedding yesterday.

Fely walking Juan Carlos down the aisle.

 It was pretty traditional, but because they are a Christian family, it lacked the obnoxious component of everyone getting trashed.  Fely asked us to be padrinos de los anillos, which means we foot the bill for the couples' wedding rings and felt honored to be asked something of such importance to them.  We're not sure what else that implies, but suspect we might find as time goes on that there are other responsibilities that accompany this honor.  In a high-context society such as this one, a lot of information is assumed understood or can be received by a third party.  We found out later that it is tradition for padrinos to be a part of the picture taking process (which occupies a couple hours after the ceremony while the guests wait patiently in the reception hall), but we had no idea so we disappeared right after the ceremony.  Oops!  Thankfully, we were able to attend the wedding with some good friends who work with Fely's husband and so we drove up together late morning for the celebration.

The church.

Waiting for the ceremony to start.

 After a quick ceremony in a small church in El Alto, we drove (because it was hailing) nearby to a reception hall, complete with posters of naked women in the entryway.  The hall was large and airy, lending itself to drafts and freezing my feet from the moment we walked in until we left, 5 hours later. People were already seated at the metal tables set up and so we sat down as well and began the long wait for the happy couple to return from their picture taking.  Usually couples will drive around to popular spots around town to take pictures, sometimes during a span of upwards of 3 hours or so, while the guests are served hors d'oeuvres (in this case, animal crackers, cheese puffs, lollipops and copious amounts of soda ) until they return.  We played a few rounds of cards while we waited and then got in line for the gift presenting after man and wife arrived.  Then, they were covered with confetti from wedding-style pinatas hanging from the ceiling, did a few laps around the hall with tables clapping as they passed and then they sat down and stared straight ahead like they were waiting for the judge's decision.

Getting confettied.

At one point, Fely and her husband came to me and Scotty and asked us to sit with them at the front because they were busy getting food ready.  I realized that this was an honor associated with us being padrinos and we obligingly sat down, boys on one side, girls on the other.

Sitting with Juan Carlos and Nancy.

I made small talk with the bride, whom I have never met, and her mom for about 45 mins or so.  It was a bit uncomfortable at times, being in center stage but not knowing what proper etiquette was.  I did my best to make friends with the nervous, young bride and asked her questions about how she and Juan Carlos had met and how they had become engaged.  We talked about her family, including 9 other brothers and sisters, and empathized with her mom who just lost her husband of 30 years a few months ago.  Finally, the couple got up together and left the building, so I took advantage of doing the same to find the sun that was finally coming out from behind the clouds and warm my chilled body.  After 10 minutes in the sun, I felt much better and figured since I saw a taxi dropping off large buckets of potatoes and wash basins full of lettuce, it must be close to lunch time (at 5pm).  We went back inside and before long, more wash basins began to emerge full of small, disposable containers of food.  We checked with Fely to see where we were supposed to be seated- it was looking cramped at the bride and grooms table.  We got the go-ahead to sit where we had started off and received our food with prayers for God's protection.  Normally, I am not concerned about food that I eat here, but this was pork, and pork can do nasty things to you.  A good Bolivian friend of ours had made a comment one time that he almost always gets sick eating pork, but it's always worth it.  I can't say as though I feel the same way.  But, we knew the right thing was to eat it and it actually tasted pretty yummy.

Lechon- pork.

 So, we enjoyed using fingers to pull of salty pig goodness, tear up potatoes, fried bananas, yams and salad.

Wash it down with some more soda and then we were off.  My parents had graciously spent the whole day watching the girls, who were both fighting colds, and we managed to make it home just in time for me to nurse Jubilee and put her to bed.  We never got to taste the cake, but that probably wasn't going to get cut until around 8pm.

11 cakes!

 All in all, it was a great experience and another way we wanted to tell Fely and her family how much they mean to us.

Chinese animal piano

Friends of ours from church gave us a present for Jubilee's birthday today.  It's called the Animal Piano.  It was made in China.  I'm afraid I am going to have to share with all of you the awesome, badly translated phrases that appear on the box.  I hope some of you laugh as hard as we did.

1. Correctly choose standard pronunciation, graceful tweedle.
2.  Lovely of! (at the top of the box)
3.  Press the animal head key, will send out each wow.
4.  Be careful of the po tential (2 words) entanglement hazard with neck, hair or fingers if there are string, wire, wheels or rolling parts in the product.
5.  Dot not shoot towards human body if the product consists of shooting function.
6.  Color and packing of the product real object have a dissimilarity to please to take real object color as quasi. (this might be my favorite).
7.  While converting to look for function, the electronic organ will send out the interjection of animal and be you press opposite in response to of key, the electronic organ will send out "you answer rightness", be you press wrong the electronic organ will rectify for you mistake. (ok, maybe this one is my fav)
8.  There is the keep company with of piano of the cartoon music piano, I can study to more music everyday, more fun.
9.  The kid studies musical teacher To the kid's vivid education start from here!
10.  Contain the small parts has already suffocate dangerous, not for children under 3 years.
11.  Have to adult is there while using play, in order to serve as guardian and point Lead.

Yes, there were that many ridiculous statements on a small box.  Also, another "Made in China" gift we received was a bag full of rattles called "baby rattles" or something that also included a warning saying "not suitable for children under 3 years of age".  Baby rattles?  Not intended for babies?  The ultimate in hilarity might have been a box labeled "Digital Train".


 It was made of wood and had parts that hooked together with numbers on them- digits.  Hence, digital train...  So awesome.

Almost one.

My mind is full of details about Jubilee's impending party on Saturday.  Appetizers and people to contact and people to remind about things they already committed to do and how to transport food and how to prepare it all ahead of time without it getting soggy.  And my days are filled with stuffing gift bags and making cupcakes and running errands and cooking and trying to spend time with my parents in the midst of busy schedules.  I desperately want to enjoy Jubilee's first birthday party, but I find myself overwhelmed with the work that it's taking to pull it off well.  I want to just kick back with my parents, play with my kids and not worry about anything.  So, I decided to take this quiet moment while the house is asleep and remember God's faithfulness in Jubilee's life- from the time of conception through her first year.  I won't have another chance to do it before she turns one, so today I will remember and be encouraged.  Oh, my, where to start?  How often I think of all that the Lord has done in her little life and know that He was so very gracious to us.  With her pregnancy came a lot of fear, but He provided amazing friends all around us to encourage me and help with Natty and other practicalities once I was on bed rest.  The two months I spent sitting on my rump gave me really special time to connect with Natty before her sister came along and taught me to depend more on the people around me.  It also showed me what a hard-working, sacrificing, loving and gracious husband I have.  In our journey back to the US, the Lord worked out several sticky situations that worked against us ever making it to Gainesville, where I felt I and the baby would be safer.  Upon arriving, I had an electric scooter loaned to me and a fantastic doctor who accepted me as his patient, even though he supposedly wasn't taking any new patients.  And, of course, parents who let us mooch off of them for 5 months and took good care of all of us. Plus, God threw in a wonderful new small group from my church that provided us with new and needed friendships and support for the months ahead.  Many fun days followed and good doctor reports that truly made us thankful after the pain we had been through with Zion.  And even though Jubilee made a surprise entry into the world a few weeks early, she was perfect and healthy and delivered by one of my new church friends!  I still remember the incredible joy I felt upon hearing her first cries- such a mix of relief and gladness and fulfilled hopes and a little bit of grief that I never heard that from my Zion.  The days ahead were hard and Jubilee struggled at a very early age with a nasty respiratory virus.  But, the illness that sends most babies that young to the hospital was passed through without major complication...although with quite a bit of concern on my part.  However, God continued to show Himself kind and powerful and really sustained us in those first few months of rocky newborn days and various health challenges as well as moving from one place to another until we returned home.  Here, Jubilee arrived without problem in the altitude- one of my greatest concerns and prayer requests and has thrived ever since.  And now she is almost one year old.  She is a joyful, smart, outgoing gift from our good Father and we celebrate her and thank Him for this time to remember all He has done in our lives.

Carnaval

It's that time of year again: carnaval.  When everything shuts down for 4 days and people decorate their homes and cars with streamers and balloons and confetti and light firecrackers and throw water balloons and wish for the Pachamama to bless them and their stuff.  We went for a drive today- something we had been waiting to get a truck to do.  We got a truck!  We took it for a drive.  We decided we'd try to find a camp ground we had heard about to see if it would be suitable for our church to have its annual camp there.  We had to take a bit of a scenic route, as the direct one was shut down due to damage done by the rains.  It seems as though a few bridges have been blown out and walls knocked over.  So, we left right after breakfast with the girls strapped in for an adventure.  We didn't know exactly where to go but headed up in the right direction and stopped on the way for a kind man to draw a map for us in the dirt.  

Man drawing route in dirt.

The roads began to get narrower and bumpier and the landscape a bit more like the country.  All around us we heard the familiar "pop!" of fire crackers and saw plenty of small children bearing large water guns.  A few flashed big grins as we drove by and they hosed down our truck with water.  A small, but steady stream wove back and forth from one side of the road to the other, crossing right through the thoroughfare of cars, trucks and donkeys.  At last, we saw a small sign announcing we had found the camp we were in search of.  There was a narrow street running down to the entrance with a small ditch cut through the middle.  Scotty decided to he would back down the street, since there was not even enough space to do a 3-point turn to get our nose in the right direction.  I cringed inside, and maybe a little out, too, but really do trust Scotty's driving ability, as he has proven himself on numerous occasions.  Shortly in, the car lurches and bumps and I'm pretty sure our tire has gone into the ditch.

Oops!

 Yes, it's confirmed.  We pile out and me and the girls head down on foot to find the camp while Scotty waits for some friendly men from the community to help him out with planks.

Pretty place to get stuck in a ditch.

Thankfully, it doesn't take long before he's free and we find someone to let us into the camp grounds.

Jubilee was quite the attraction at the camp.

Taking pictures of our baby-doll baby.

The surroundings were beautiful- I'll start with something positive.  However, I will freely admit that I'm not a "roughin' it" kind of person.  I can do it for a few days, but when you have small (crawling) children, it's different.  I tried to remind myself that there are few options in La Paz and we have to have something big enough for a good sized group as well as economical enough to not exclude anyone in the church.  I'll just say that if the elders decide we'll camp there, I will survive and write to blog about it.  But, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  Anyway, back into the car and bumping down the road pass the group of old, toothless men drinking and enjoying their holiday.  We're all tired now and Natty is making up nonsensical songs and I'm racking my brain to figure out what to make, quickly, for lunch when we get home.  Scotty is still getting over a nasty cold, so everyone but me is quietly in bed and I'm loving the still house and the blue skies we haven't seen for this long at once in weeks.  It sure has been nice to have some days off and one of these free moments I need to get my mind wrapped around finishing up Jubilee's birthday party planning and thinking through a few aspects of my parents' visit next week.  But, for now, I'll enjoy a few moments of calm.

First day.

So, I imagine you all will be wondering how the first day of school went.  It was great!  We all woke up early (too early) and excited and didn't spend as much time as we usually do lounging in bed and getting a strong cup of coffee into our systems before moving on.  I'm a little sad to be leaving behind that relaxing tradition...I'm not much for rushing around first thing in the morning.  However, we had plenty of time to get ready and eat without pushing Natty too hard and then I ended up driving her to school while Scotty stayed with Jubilee.  When we got there, I saw no cars and no people!  I suppose I should have double-checked the starting time, I thought.  When I rang the doorbell, a work kid who was painting the wall opened the door...bad sign!  But, a teacher shortly came down and I asked if Natty was supposed to come at 9, trying to imagine what we would do for half an hour before any stores open if she was supposed to arrive later.  She assured me it was fine and we went upstairs to her little classroom where a handful of kids were sitting at a table.  I left her to get acquainted and chatted a bit with the director.  She asked me to stay because they were going to have a prayer time when all the kids showed up to ask God's blessing on the school year, the kids and our families.  It was sweet to see them all standing together with the hands out, repeating the prayer of the director.  Then they sang some songs and recited some verses.  For the most part, Natty was doing her best to imitate the Spanish and looking around with curiosity, but not fear.  When they lined up to go back into their classroom, I told her good-bye and assured her we would be back when school was done.  Scotty picked her up and I was brimming with excitement and standing at the top of the stairs- dying to know what she thought of her first day.  She said she had fun, couldn't remember exactly what they did and seemed to generally enjoy herself.  Even though it's only been 3 days, every day she comes home smiling and dancing and in a great and usually silly mood.  School seems to do her good and I am so happy/relieved!  I am incredibly thankful that our friend introduced us to the school and even though it's a little too quiet in the house without her, the morning goes by quickly and I am more excited to spend focused time with her in the afternoon.  With party planning and my parents coming in about 2 weeks, I don't feel like I'll have a good idea of what my mornings might look like when things settle again, but I am already appreciating that time.  We made it...

The change.

No, I'm not going through menopause...but, my child is starting school tomorrow.  How did this happen?  How can 4 1/2 years pass by so quickly?  I imagine I am not new to these feelings of seeing your little ones grow up.  I just sent Scotty and Natty off to a superbowl party while I sit at home with a sleeping baby and a nasty cold.  It feels very final.  Natty will come home from the party, go to sleep, and wake up in the morning to get ready for school.  That's it.  No more, what do you want to play this morning?  Will you come to the market with me?  Do you want to help me in the kitchen?  Now it will be, see you after school!  Be kind to the other kids.  Do you remember how to tell the teacher in Spanish if you need to go to the bathroom?  What is it that makes us not want changes, new phases?  Natty's little life has been a greater joy to us than we could have imagined and challenged me as a woman and mother and daughter of God in so many ways.  But, instead of appreciating this time, I just wonder if I played with her enough, if I really listened, if I stopped enough to show her that what she was saying was important to me.  My plea of the Lord is that I will be thankful for every moment I have and look forward to the promises that come in every new phase.  Of course it's natural to mourn that they will never be so very little and dependent on you in the same way- but there must be so much fun to come!  I think I need this little prod to remind me to take advantage of every moment with my children and not be so easily distracted by other things, because life is short.  What a gift to be responsible for steering our little ones down the right path in life.  So humbling to be on the same journey with them and to practice forgiveness as we both stumble.  I'm proud of my sweet Natalie.  She is maturing into a wonderful, creative, thoughtful, empathetic little girl and I can only thank my God that He has given me the grace and privilege of being her mother.

Seasons.

I feel like I hear the word "season" a lot in the Christian vocabulary (mine included)...  A "season of quiet" or a "season of busyness" or a "season of rest".  It's a good word, I think, because there does seem to be defined periods of time that the Lord creates in our lives that often have distinct beginnings and/or endings.  I think I'm coming to an end of a season, of sorts.  And, I'm not sure how well I'm handling it.  It's the season of babies.  I've had my last, unless the Lord adds by adoption.  One child is starting school in a few weeks.  I went to her little kindergarten and enrolled her yesterday.  Then I bought her some jello to make myself feel better.  I'm not freaking out yet, but I might cry a bit the week she starts.  I had to remind myself that some missionaries have to send their kids to boarding school and at least she'll still be living with us and home in the afternoons.  Also, I'm planning a huge first birthday party for next month.  My baby is going to be one.  So, I feel this change and have been feeling it coming ever since Jubilee was born.  My kids will only get older and bigger and more mature now.  We won't go through newborn cries and breastfeeding and snugly baby stages anymore.  I think I've done a fair amount of grieving (or complaining) about that already so I'm starting to come to terms with it.  But, it feels weird.  However, I'm starting to learn that life is a series of events that may or may not be exactly what you want and  you can choose to fight against them or trust that they are the Lord's perfect plan for your life and they are good.  I'm working on the latter.

Differences.

Sometimes we're surprised by how frequently we continue to clash with Bolivian culture.  I think we're realizing that we are and always will have a North American way of thinking and reasoning and it's not something we're always even aware of until we find ourselves frustrated inexplicably.  It's helpful to see it, however, and to come to understand the fundamental differences that shape Bolivians in their own special way.  So, as Scotty and I continue to adjust to life here after almost 10 years (!), I just wanted to share more about what I love about this country.  Yesterday, Scotty and I had a few minutes in the afternoon to take a walk together.  We walked as a family to a house nearby where Natty has a special friend, dropped her off, and then hiked around with Jubilee in her backpack.  As we were returning, we ran into a new-ish neighbor that we have exchanged pleasantries with a handful of times, but don't know well.  She was walking with her sister and we stood around for some time talking with her, sharing our hopes to start building our home across the street from her very soon and so on.  Her sister, who doesn't even live in Bolivia anymore, offered the use of her house (that she stays at when she is in town) to store building materials in if we want to buy them early before prices go up again.  She told us to stop by anytime and made sure that we knew exactly where her house was and gave us the exact date of her departure so that we could catch her before she leaves.  Our neighbor offered to give us any help we might need as we thought about starting our house, since they had recently built their own home.  A common phrase I hear here is "cualquier cosa"- if people can do anything for you, they will and are honored to be asked.  I love how involved people want to be in your life and that feel of community you have with your neighbors and those in your circle.  It can be tough to get used to from our very independent mindset when you're given unsolicited advice from everyone and anyone, but we see now that it means people care and I see how much closer that is to what God intends for us as His family- to be intimately involved in each others lives.  I pray that I can learn from my Bolivian friends.

A Saturday.

It's the first day of December!  I am SO excited about Christmas this year.  I think Christmas is always special, but it seems extra-special for some reason.  Maybe because it's the first year Natty has been in Bolivia at an age to really get into it.  Maybe it's because last year I was big and pregnant and couldn't really walk a lot to enjoy stuff and the year before that I had just lost Zion.  With Natty's exuberance about everything and our sweet, little happy Jubilee-baby and the thought of Scotty finally having a good chunk of family-time...I'm really in the Christmas spirit!  We are also loving the idea of doing advent with our church family this year, for the first time.  A lot of Christmas traditions that are "normal" for us North-American Christians are not looked highly upon  in the Bolivian church or are just starting to be accepted as the church grows in maturity.  We see the need to spend the month of December preparing our hearts to really celebrate the coming of our King and remember all that means to us as His adopted children.  Natty and I made an advent calender out of matchboxes and she already enjoyed opening the first one this morning (and will be even happier when I fill the rest with candy along with the scripture)- we want to set the stage for not only a fun time of baking, Christmas music, presents, ornaments, and friends, but of recognizing how much Jesus Christ deserves all our worship as a family as we remember His coming.

Today is my favorite type of Saturday.  Yesterday, it turned cold and rainy and dreary- a perfect winter day here in the middle of Summer! :)  After the rains stopped, the band of Andes mountains outside of La Paz were sparkling white and very dramatic.  I wish I had taken a picture!  We thought of driving out toward them to find snow and play in it, since Natty has no recollection of snow yet, but other duties were on our mind.  This is the first day in weeks that Scotty doesn't have anything major to do, so we made breakfast this morning, read books, ate, watched part of The Iron Giant and then got the girls ready to go out.  First stop- Ketal!  Our large supermarket has many interesting things inside, but we were on the hunt for lunch (in the form of small, stew-filled cornbready snacks) and garland to house our church advent candles.  Saturday is THE DAY to shop as a family, so the store was already humming with activity.  We paused at one girl handing out food samples and all tasted a kid's vitamin drink.  Sweet and milky and when we asked if it had sugar, she answered, "No- it's normal."  Normal?  And how is it so sweet, then?  Anyway, we found what we were looking for, picked up a Christollen and headed to destination #2: Awesome toy store!  I don't know what this store is called, but it's in the back of a store filled with men's dress fabric.  It's the only place I've seen such a great collection of fun stuff, educational stuff and didactic stuff- it really is fun to look around there and it's good I'm a Miser, cause otherwise I would buy way too much.  We found the toy we wanted for Jubilee, bought it and went to the second large grocery store in town that has a decent furniture store inside.  I had seen a nice, leather chair there that I thought Scotty might like for Christmas and wanted him to look at it before I bought it.  Upon further inspection, it seemed more of a dark purple than brown (which is how it was labeled and how I initially saw it) and was a bit rickety.  Now I'm back to the drawing board with him for Christmas gifts.  We took a quick spin through the grocery store for a few more things and at one point another free samples lady came by and handed Natty a fairly good-sized styrofoam bowl.  I was curious what could be in there and when I peaked in to check it out, I was surprised and a bit amused to find a Natty-lunch sized portion of some type of Ramen noodle soup.  She looked at us nervously while we giggled about that free sample, maybe worried that it was something she shouldn't eat.  This store was also packed, but we managed to make good time, leave the crowds behind us and return to our cozy home for naps and the rest of the afternoon left to playing and resting and left-overs.

The end.

Ballet and census day.

Natty is a poodle in her first ballet recital.  I DID NOT do her make-up.  :)

 I will try to give a swift recap of the last few weeks, since Jubilee is threatening to cut her nap short today.  Yesterday, we signed Natty up for her first school!!  Kids start rather young in all-week nursery around here and it's something we decided not to do since Natty is so content at home and I wanted her with me as long as possible!  However, since starting ballet, I see how much she is enjoying other kids and we also recognize that her personality makes it tough for her to learn Spanish when she's not around Spanish speakers a whole lot.  So, at 4 1/2 (in February- the start of the school year), she'll be attending Emmanuel Christian school!  It's actually just a little place set up in a neighborhood near Scotty's office and is run by the sweetest Christian ladies.  Most of the kids are day-care age, but there is a pre-kindergarten and kindergarten class.  There seems to be very personal attention given to each child and a commitment to working closely with the parents.  We had seen one other school- a pre-K through 12, and it was big and scary and not what I was looking for.  After walking through this place with Natty and chatting with the staff, we felt very comfortable and I was confident it was much more suited to her tender personality.  I am thankful God led us there- it was something I had been praying about for quite some time!

Practicing before the show.

Natty had her first ballet recital(s) Sunday night and Monday.  She has grown from being terrified of ballet to walking in to the studio calmly and enjoying the other little girls.  She constantly dances around the house and mimics what the older girls are doing in their classes.  She encourages me to copy her and then praises me, "Good job, Mommy!" when I do it well.  We had a week full of rehearsals, lots of extra costs and then 2 fun nights of watching our daughter perform in front of a very full audience for the first time!  I think it was a bigger milestone for us than for her- I can't believe I have a daughter old enough to do anything on a stage!  I'd like to say she was the best dancer in the Baby Ballet class, but I have to admit that I was practically rolling in my seat as Natty missed her cues, had her hands often going in the opposite direction and generally got distracted as any other 4 year-old might do.  The second night, the ballet didn't start until after her bedtime and it showed in her performance.  The poor girl was so tired.

So exhausted after a long week and 2 performances.

We let her come home from her first night's show, after her bedtime, to an ice cream party with 2 friends and then they stayed up who knows how long playing in her bedroom before they finally fell asleep.  She's still making up those lost sleep hours.

Today is census day.  Every 10 years, a nation-wide census is taken and everyone is ordered to stay in their homes until 6pm.  This isn't like other days where you stay home but can roam freely.  They have threatened fines and even jail time if you don't stay inside your house- no walking!  Bummer.  However, it comes at a good time cause I can do all my Thanksgiving meal prep today and Scotty can write Christmas letters that we desperately need to get ready soon.  Tomorrow, we'll spend Thanksgiving with our beloved SIM team and have invited our pastor and his wife to participate this year, since it's an American holiday that Edgar has always been interested in.

Happy.

Jubilee is growing and continues to be a smiling, sweet baby.  She has popped out with some attitude here and there and seems to get disgruntled a bit easier.  I think it's that hard stage where they're interested in so many things, but aren't mobile yet.  She's eating lots of new things and hasn't turned away any new food that I've given her.  She's still not a big fan of nursing, and I've had to reconcile myself to that.  It's been tough cause I know breast milk is still best and she's so low on the weight charts that I worry when she doesn't drink much.  But, I'm doing the best I can and feeding her as much as I can and the rest I am learning to leave in God's hands and trusting that all will be well.  She's starting to roll all over the floor in order to inspect things around her, but hasn't made moves toward crawling yet- except to move from a seated position to down on her tummy.  She is a joy to us all and she and Natty have an especially sweet relationship.

Catching up and a doctor's visit

We've been busy.  Often my time is filled with things that need to get done, but I can't exactly recount to you what all of that was by the end of the week.  Does anyone else ever feel that way?  Is that a product of having young children?  Last Thursday through Sunday, Scotty was participating in a seminar given by SIM friends on communicating between cultures.  He was reminded of a lot he already knew about what makes Bolivians different from Americans, learned some new stuff and generally was encouraged to recommit to adapting to what is culturally appropriate in life and ministry.  We had some good chats about it afterward (I wasn't able to attend) and I am proud of him for putting together such a large event with a lot of other responsibilities happening at the same time.  We had our good friend and Spanish teacher from our Cochabamba days come in a stay with us during the conference as well.  Baby J got shifted to our room and decided she'd rather wake us up than sleep in a new place.  Thankfully, her sleep patterns returned to normal once she got back in her crib.  This week, Scotty has been busy with meetings out the wazoo and preparing to preach tomorrow.  I've been asked to teach a young woman's Bible study in a little over a week on any topic I'd like (where to start??) and am plugging away at that this week.  As much as I dislike teaching and fear how it might go over, I have to admit that I learn so much in the process.  The girls are healthy, praise God, and Jubilee is growing little by very little.  I never knew what a blessing it was when Natty was small to have a plump baby.  That's about all that is going on at the moment!

Wanna have a little peek into what it looks like to take the girls to the pediatrician?  Thankfully, at most doctor's offices, you can call and make an appointment for the following day or sometimes even the same day if you have a free schedule.  At Natty's 4-year check-up, I talked to the doctor about bringing both girls back in the following week to get shots.  She said just to call the nurse when I was ready.  (Unfortunately, there's no making an appointment ahead of time).  The pediatrician only works Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 3:30 on.  Therefore, I can't call before 3:30 to make sure that day is OK for shots.  So, after dropping Natty off at ballet, I begin calling the office to try to make contact with the nurse.  I was determined to do the shots that day since both girls needed some catching up on vaccines.  I called FOUR times trying to reach the nurse and even called the doctor's cell phone to see when she might be back in the office (she was running errands).  Doc tells me she'll be back in 15 mins and I can call then.  By this time, I'm feeling bad about bugging the office staff with so many phone calls.  Finally, we decide just to drive to the office after ballet and hope for the best.  When we arrive, I make Scotty call and the nurse has just walked in the door.  She says to meet me at the clinic next door (where they are doing shots).  We head to the clinic, sit and wait for the nurse to come, than wait for someone in the clinic to come and give the girls shots.  The nurse brings the vaccines from the fridge next door in the pediatrician's office and passes them off to 2 ladies who don't wash their hands and get ready to poke my babies.  My body goes tense and the inner battle of whether or not to say something to them begins to rage.  The nurse that works for my pediatrician did wash her hands and she's going to be the one holding the girls, I justify to myself.  Still, I wonder what rationale there is behind coming from touching who knows how many sick patients in a large clinic to touching my healthy children and not washing hands.  I asked our SIM friend who did the culture seminar, who happens to be a doctor, if it would be offensive to ask them to wash their hands.  He said, "yes".  But, I'm not attempting to form any relationship with them, I counter...  I was still silent.  They are still healthy, so I thank God and continue to pray for His protection.  Anyway, there's poking and crying and paying a pittance to the clinic for their services and then we walk back to the pediatrician's office to pay the nurse for the shots and get a receipt.  Wrap that up and then we're in the car and out.  It's not the most efficient system, or easiest to maneuver, but we manage.

Oh, and I just have to mention what an incredible gift our little Jubilee is.  Natty, of course, is a treasure as well.  But, I have to say that as far as babies go, I can't imagine much sweeter or easier than Jubilee.  I so enjoy just sitting and playing with her, watching her facial expressions, seeing her ever-present smile and know that God has been so very kind to let us have her for a while.  Her life makes me think so often of our Zion and how much we miss him, but I can't stop speaking constant thanks for our baby girl.

Natty turns four.

They grow up quick.  Everyone says it, but you don't know just what it means until it happens to your children...especially your first one.  Often I tell Natty her birth story, per her request, and sometimes it seems like it was ages ago that it all happened.  But, when our first born little girl turns 4, it seems like only yesterday!  She has changed so incredibly much in such a short period of time.  She's always been a sweet, sensitive little girl and her life has taught me so much.  Being a mother is a journey of learning to die to self, be patient, re-examine what grace means in your life and in the lives of others and to depend on God.  Natty is fun, silly, smart, an amazing conversationalist, talks to adults like an adult, loves to read, loves to play games, still takes a great 2-hour afternoon nap, is timid in groups, loves to play in water, just learned to ride a bike (with training wheels), eats almost anything, adores her Daddy, is such a sweet big-sister that surprises me with her love for Jubilee, wants to adopt a little brother, always wants to wear skirts, can melt-down in a heartbeat, admits that it's very hard sometimes to obey, is very cautious, doesn't like dolls and has practically memorized her Jesus Storybook Bible.  She has gotten to an age of asking good questions about faith and God and started her first ballet class a couple months ago.  It is a privilege to be her mother and I am so proud of the little person that is being formed before my eyes.

We decided to go to Lake Titicaca to our favorite fish restaurant to celebrate her birth.  She loves to be around water and this particular place takes you out on a little boat ride after your meal.  Because there was a possibility of blockades on her actual birthday, we went the day before with our friends, the Hursts (with 2 of their girls), and our house helper's 2 daughters.  It always takes longer to get out of the city than we think.  After driving up a couple thousand feet to El Alto (the slum city that lies right above us), you are often redirected because of huge holes in the road, marches, construction, parades, markets or just grid-lock.  I never cease to be amazed by this interesting and broken-down city filled with crazy drivers and exhaust.  But, after getting out, it's smooth sailing along the Andean plateau with snow-capped peaks, llamas, and fields of crops all around.  When we got to the hotel where our favorite restaurant is, it seemed empty.  When I walked in, 3 guys that worked there were dancing around twirling napkins.  They looked sheepish when I said hello and asked if they were serving lunch that day.  One guy looked like he might have to disappoint me, but said he'd check in the kitchen.  He confirmed, to my relief, upon returning that they were serving lunch and were just scaling our freshly caught trout!  The girls played while the grown-ups chatted and we all tried to ignore our growling tummies (we didn't get to the place until about 1:30).  But, was it worth the wait!  Freshly baked bread, salad, home-made corn soup, and absolutely delicious, fresh fish.  We brought along the cupcakes Natty and I had baked the day before and enjoyed all of this while gazing out on the enormous, sparkling lake.  The skies were clear and were that incredible blue of a place with little atmosphere. I don't think I've ever seen water glimmer like I do when we're at Lake Titicaca.  We took a short spin out on the hotel's boat after lunch and then packed it back in the Landcruiser for the return trip.  The way back took even longer when we got to El Alto where the festivals of Day of the student/love/friendship were in full swing, but we made it back home about half an hour before people started arriving for our small group. We were so tired on Natty's actual birthday after our day trip (and Bible study until almost midnight), that we just stayed home and did things Natty loves to do- big breakfast, movie watching, family walk and family game-playing.  Happy birthday to my precious big girl!

I am God.

It's windy today.  When I look out the window I can see plastic bags jerking through the air and clothes whipping around on the drying lines.  I can feel a breeze coming through any (closed) window of my house and the curtains inside lightly move.  It's been hazy lately- a result of the dry season kicking up dust and no rains yet to settle it back down.  I have another cold and the dry air hits my sinuses hard.  My head ached as I walked around Mallasilla this morning- the first walk I've felt well enough to take all week.  But, I recognize the blessed life I lead.  I have a wonderful relationship with my husband.  I have two beautiful, thriving daughters.  I have sweet friends.  But something the ladies talked about in Bible study last night tugs at my heart, at my comfort.  Suffering.  I've been there before...I don't want to go back.  And yet, we all agreed and could not deny as we read scripture together that to suffer is sometimes part of a good plan that the Lord has for us.  He shows Himself to us in a more profound way.  Just look at Job.  "I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you."  I've said that in suffering...or maybe something not so eloquent.  But, I get that.  However, my heart still says, isn't there another way to see?  Sometimes I feel like I am more afraid than ever of suffering.  I haven't yet fully learned or accepted that to know the Lord, to see Him, is the greatest gift He could give us...no matter what it costs.  I think He has been telling me lately that there are still things that I hold on to too tightly.  Sometimes this world, this life, means too much to me.  I know there is freedom in letting it go, but I'm afraid it will hurt too much.  A friend pointed out that after Job had voiced his complaint and questioned why he even had to be born, the Lord said, I am God.  He didn't give specific answers or even comforting ones.  We know something Job didn't know in that moment- that God would restore Job's life with even more sweet gifts than before.  But in that moment of pain, God's answer was, I am God.  He doesn't always promise to make it better and that is a hard truth to swallow as His children.  But, He is God.  And being God, He is good and kind and love.  Sometimes, I still struggle to fully believe that, despite whatever I might be going through in this moment.

Mini-trauma

This one takes everything in stride.  Food?  Sure- why not?

So, I'm going through a mini-trial at the moment....so I must blog about it.  I have no idea, really, how many people read this blog and I might not publish every little thing like this that I go through if I knew who did read it- however, it is the best way to work through my feelings.  So, here we go.  Jubilee went in for her 6 month check-up on Monday.  She looks great, but she is underweight.  Like, off the charts.  I know the charts are not always perfectly accurate, but the fact that she has left her growth curve, somewhat significantly, is not a good sign.  Her pediatrician only recommended that I start her on solids, but didn't have any advice or words of wisdom apart from that.  I trust this woman, and like her personally, but medical friends from home have encouraged me to monitor things a bit more closely to make sure she does start gaining weight again.  This, of course, is not a huge deal, but anytime something is not right, it makes this mommy nervous.  So, I started cereal yesterday and she enjoyed it.  I spent a good part of yesterday afternoon praying for Jubilee and for my heart- that I would trust the Lord and how He works all of this out.  Today, before lunch, Jubilee almost completely refused to nurse.  She had some and then decided she was done.  Freak out time!  Then that all-to-familiar battle started of my body going rigid and my mind racing and crying out, "No!  You must eat!".  Then, the other, usually softer voice that speaks reason and peace reminding me that this is just one meal, it's not going to ruin her or our goals of weight gain.  But what if she keeps doing this??  What if I have to give up breastfeeding and go to formula!?!?- the irrational mommy-voice screams.  I do my best to calm down and try to "encourage" Jubilee to eat....about 10 more times. She finally gives me a good bite or two and I give up.  While this is going on, Natty is getting ornery and impatient because I haven't played with her all morning and I'm giving Jubilee way more attention than she wants me to.  However, she asks me to tell her the story about when we lost her favorite stuffed animal and God miraculously brought him to us.  A story of God's faithfulness.  Than, out of no where, she repeats what I told her yesterday about her pediatrician remembering her after over a year of not seeing her and asking if she had gotten over her constipation.  Natty struggled with this issue for over a year as a toddler and it was a super stressful time.  She's totally fine now.  A story of God's faithfulness.  The Lord wanted me to remember the things He has already brought us through, faithfully, and trust that He will do it again in this situation.  Even with those Holy Spirit reminders I fight against the need (why is it such a need?) to worry.  So, here I am.  Wanting to choose the right path- the one of peace and trust.  I feel more relaxed and calmer, but my heart is still a little tense.  I'm trusting that in another few blogs, I can testify to the good way that God has worked this one out and how my little one is packing on the pounds.  And if things don't work out so simply, I want to say as we have in much more serious situations, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Snippets.

So, we were out of town in Cochabamba most of this week.  Scotty has quarterly meetings there as part of an advisory council for the mission director.  I'll fill you in on the last bit of time with a few snippets of life, in no particular order.

The girls travel well.  We left for the airport right around Jubilee's nap time- 12:30.  We had the usual wait of an hour for our flight, plus a few more half hour delays brought on by our plane not being able to leave its previous destination to come to us.  We bided our time in the sunny departure room, sipping cappuccinos and playing "race" with Natty.  Jubilee happily watched, slept, and nursed.  I had a good conversation with the girl working at the jewelry counter, who unfortunately knew nothing about the Bolivianite (an amethyst like stone found here in the mines of Bolivia) and where in the country it comes from.  But, she did have a little girl, too, and was open to my questions and conversation about life.  When the plane came in, Natty got super excited, we walked out onto the cold, windy tarmac (not to mention noisy, since there was another plane raring to go next to us), boarded our jet and took off.  A quick snack and 30 mins later and we were there.  In those 4 hours there was almost nothing but smiles, other than a few short cries as Jubilee tried to fall asleep.  Yes, my girls might sometimes seem like angels- even to me- but stay tuned for the bubble bursting.

I took a walk the Sunday before we left.  We didn't go to church since we had to leave early for the airport, so I was able to get in a nice walk around the 'hood.  Whoa.  Note to self: No walks on Sundays.  I thought it would be nice and quiet cause it's Sunday and that seems reasonable.  Twice as many stray dogs out.  I honestly thought I might get attacked several times.  There is comfort in knowing by sight the dogs around town.  There is not comfort in seeing new, large dogs travelling in packs.  There were groups of men reeking of alcohol- obviously still out from a drinking binge started the night before.  They kinda just set up camp on a rickety, wooden bench outside of a small, corner store.  Although most of them looked harmless and probably couldn't walk straight, I'm never a fan of being a blond foreigner walking by a group of drunk men.  And generally there was a lot more traffic than I expected- people probably going to families homes for cooking and lunch and guys dressed in soccer garb to go play all day.  The Catholic church's bells were ringing just as I walked past the drunk guys...calling its people to come worship.  It was a bit ironic.

We were happy to spend some time in the beloved SIM guest house in Cochabamba.  We are still looking for a couple people to run it, so if you're reading this and feel a little spark inside, call me.  Natty immediately headed outside into the big, green yard for the swings.  I immediately got into a taxi to pick up some grub at the grocery store.  Ah- Cochabamba!  I was comfortable in short-sleeves (still winter here) and loving the familiar sights of town and the grocery store I must have visited 100 times while living there.  I picked up some cotton candy on my way out as a special treat for Natty and we enjoyed some play time back at the guest house before putting Jubilee to bed and leaving Natty with an SIM friend while Scotty and I went out to Paprika for our anniversary dinner.  We had celebrated our engagement there the night he asked me to marry him and it is a favorite of many.  It was nice to walk and talk and hold hands and not be in a hurry and eat good food.  Can I tell you about the amazing present he gave me before we left?  Well, I have to admit that Scotty is not a gift-giver.  He actually picks great presents, but doesn't enjoy it and often puts it off until the last minute.  I don't think he'd mind me sharing this on the world wide web because I've said some nice things about him before on my blog.  :)  However, for my first birthday as a married couple, he gave me a Nalgene bottle.  It was purple.  Yes, that's all.  I was a bit underwhelmed, although, I did carry that bottle with me everywhere I went, at all times, for about 5 years.  One Christmas, he admitted to me on Christmas Eve Eve that he hadn't bought me anything yet.  I'll let that be in the end of the examples for now.  So, let me read to you a section from the card he wrote this year for our 7th anniversary: "Seven years, seven presents: a photo frame in gratitude for such a beautiful family and great memories together.  A notebook and pencil case because you are such a gifted writer and because it makes me think of future travels together (the notebook had travel graffics on it).  The (chocolate-scented) candle and glass holder represents our future home, full of light, warmth, hospitality and the smell of chocolate coming from the kitchen!  Dark chocolate because you like it and After Eight (chocolate mint candies) because that's when I get to hang out with just you."  How thoughtful- right!?  All the gifts were beautiful...and yummy.  He totally made up for those other lame times.

It was a joy to have 3 days or so to just focus totally on the girls.  I didn't bring my computer so that I wouldn't be tempted to get online and waste time or ignore them.  I played all the stuff Natty wanted to play.  We took pictures of Jubilee and made her laugh.  We ate snacks that are bad for you.  Natty was happy and sweet and I was loving it.  For a while.  Toward the end, my sweet girl turned into Natty-the-sinner.  She was unrepentant when disciplined for doing wrong or disobeying.  She made little fists and punched the air with them like she wanted to hit me.  She glared at me.  Her attitude screamed, "I don't care what you say!  I like to sin!"  It truly broke my heart and frustrated me.  Of course, this wasn't the first time I had seen this, but it was a bit more pronounced on this trip.  How can such a young thing who is receiving such nice treats and love from her mommy treat her this way?  I wonder if God sometimes asks the same of me...  By the end of the trip, I was having a hard time enjoying my daughter.  I prayed hard and continue to every day.  No one teaches them to do wrong- it comes naturally.  As much as I talk about our relationship with each other being broken when she disobeys, only the Holy Spirit can make her want it to be right again.

Today is Saturday and we don't have any major plans.  I love this.  Tomorrow is pedestrian day- no car driving allowed.  Scotty will go over to church early tonight to set up for our Saturday night service since we won't have normal church tomorrow.  After the girls get up from naps, we'll have a family date to the ice cream store.  I'll stay home with Jubilee since church starts at her bedtime and listen to a sermon and try to connect with some long-distance friends.  We're still trying to find some neighborhood friends to hang out with tomorrow when everyone is stuck at home.

I had a lovely long conversation with a Bolivian friend last night at Bible study.  We were the only two to show up until an hour and a half after the study was supposed to start (!!).  I feel like it was a God-ordained time of reconnection with her.  Then a few more trickled in and we had a more intimate time of sharing and prayer.  I really enjoy that small group.

Well, hope you feel caught up!  Check my facebook for pics of our time in Cochabamba.

Pass the rabbit.

Saturday was fun and busy!  I had a lovely walk after our daily oatmeal routine to walk a friend's dog and then wandered a bit around the neighborhood.  It doesn't take much to get your heart rate up when you can't avoid going up and down some pretty steep or long hills.  I spent the rest of the morning trying to make a Bolivian dish for lunch- potatoes covered in a milky peanut sauce so that we could have a "picnic" at the house where we were dog-sitting.  These friends didn't know we were going to crash, but we knew they wouldn't mind if we utilized their cable TV to watch some Olympics.  So, I packed up our lunch, the baby, the baby stuff (even for a short visit, I feel like we need so much stuff!), jackets, etc...and we drove to the other side of the neighborhood for a little outing.  We had just enough time to have a nice lunch, make some coffee, put the girls to bed in their borrowed beds and turn on the tube.  Olympics!  This is the first time we saw more than a few minutes at a time.  I particularly enjoyed watching the rubbery legs during women's speed walking (we saw Bolivia cross the line!) and the women's high jump.  After a couple hours, we packed up all our stuff again, went home, changed a diaper and packed back in the car to drive to Mallasa, about a mile from Mallasilla.  We arrived at Javier and Jimena's family home where a group was set up at tables under a shade outside.  It was a gorgeous day and we had a lovely view of the surrounding Andes and enjoyable interactions with our friends and their extended families.

The menu of the day was a little bit of this:

Viscacha.

Some of this:

Bunny.

And some of this:

Duck.

What all that looks like fried.

There were some other Bolivian sides that I won't bother trying to describe.  I liked the viscacha best and Natty liked the duck.  These are church friends that are also neighbors and we've been wanting to reconnect with them since we came back.  It was a perfect day for it and I felt grateful that we have relationships with people that enjoy inviting us to their family events.  Natty was a bit shy with the other kids (she still isn't so keen on trying Spanish) and Jubilee was needing a nap- but there were no major meltdowns.  I realized how we need to do some more of that kind of thing to break our kids into Bolivian culture and start getting them used to being a bit more flexible and comfortable with people that are not like them.  I suppose if I look at myself honestly, it's Mom that often has a hard time getting outside of the routine.  Sigh.  We returned home to put the babes to bed and settle in for a nice movie to round out a great day.  I had some ideas for more family fun on Sunday, but I woke up feeling a bit queasy (could it be the bunnies?).  The Lord spared me during church, but by the afternoon and into the evening, the yucks returned and when I went to bed a few minutes before Natty, I was afraid a flu might be coming on.  I actually physically tense up when I think I might have to vomit and it makes me feel even worse.  After reassuring myself that I probably wasn't going to die and it was just a natural process of getting rid of whatever bad is in my system, I relaxed, fell asleep and felt mostly better by Monday.  This week is already flying by, like all the rest, and I am still trying to get into a better habit of putting aside time to really focus my heart on the Lord.  I've had some good, quick moments before the girls wake up in the morning.  But, I still find it hard when we are up several times a night with a fussy baby to get up early.  Natty has been obsessed with listening to and reading her Jesus Storybook Bible lately and I find that it is encouraging to both of us during the day.  Now, her songs and her pretend reading include phrases like, "Jesus died on the cross", "It was God's plan from the beginning",  "God is always with us", "God loves us", etc...  Today she informed me when she was being distracting while Jubilee was trying to nurse, "God made me loud, Mommy."  At least she's more interested in God...

Family time

I've had two lovely family days this week- each looking quite different.  Scotty has been working a lot lately and so decided that he needed to take a day off this week to spend with us.  Thursday, he took Natty to the club to go swimming- something she's been talking about since we arrived.  I was able to take a nice walk around the neighborhood before they left and then spent the rest of the morning making stuffed eggplant.  I got my first dog bite, thankfully from someone's pet and not a stray.  Still, I looked up information on rabies and got kinda scared.  That would not be a fun death.  Scotty told me he was 110% positive I won't die from rabies, so I'm gonna be pretty mad if he's wrong.  At nap time, we finally got to read some more of the great book we're going through together on cultivating godly habits as a family and then had an ice cream "picnic" (Natty's word for eating on the couches) and a trip to the land after.  I spent some time staring at Zion's grave, fluctuating between extreme sadness with a fresh reality check that my son's body is buried down there and incredible gratitude that He's running around in heaven with Jesus.  I wandered around to the back of the little room that is in the back of the property and saw the plum tree that we had been given that we weren't real sure was going to take.  The branches were still dark and dead looking but there were little white blooms and tiny green leaves shooting out of them.  It was such a clear and tangible reminder of how God brings life from death, and beauty, too.  That night, we were able to go out on our first date since coming back!  I was a bit nervous leaving Jubilee with a sitter, as she is a bit unpredictable at night.  At first we were just planning on going out to dinner, but I realized around 6 that we might be able to get to the theater to see a movie we'd been hoping to see if our sitter could come immediately.  We called her and asked her to take a taxi up to the house, I finished getting Jubilee to bed and we frantically got ready.  She came and we rushed out of the house, with the baby still crying off and on in her crib (I wasn't too happy about that).  I had asked Scotty to double check on the theater's website to make sure the movie was still there- I had seen it online the day before- and when he looked, it was gone!  We called and the recording made it sound like it played at 4:30, even though I remember the website saying 6:30.  The La Paz newspaper online listed it as still playing at 6:30.  So, we took a chance, drove quickly, literally ran through the mall-like compound and found that it had, in fact, gone out of the theater.  Boo.  We had chugged down some rich shake before leaving the house since we thought we'd miss dinner, so we window shopped for a bit and then went to a nice Italian restaurant where we had the place to ourselves through half our meal.  It was a lovely night of relaxing and talking with my husband and the girls did great.

Today, Scotty had an all-day meeting starting early, so I invited over a friend and her two girls for lunch.  Natty has really become such a sweet, helpful little girl that is pleasant to be around (mostly) and I really enjoyed her company and the way she didn't complain that I spent most of the morning in the kitchen.  Helps when you let her lick the cookie beaters.  We enjoyed a few hours with our friends, watched the Muppet Movie and then played around until bed time.  Jubilee was her usual happy self and I absolutely adored watching the two of them interact.  Natty loves to sing and dance for her and make her laugh and Jubilee just glues her eyes to Natty whenever she's in site.  I think they'll be good friends.  The day was relaxing and fun and I felt such appreciation to the Lord for my sweet little girls.  I also love that Natty is at an age where spiritual things can be understood and find that there are so many moments throughout the day to teach her and tell her about our great and loving God and our need for Him.  I also realize as I talk, how much I need to hear those truths and be changed as well.  She loves her Jesus Storybook Bible, which I would recommend it to anyone who doesn't already have it, and is starting to remember the stories quite well.  "One ticket to not Ninevah, please!" was her refrain today.

I finally got to attend women's Bible study on Friday night and enjoyed seeing some ladies for the first time since we've been back.  I tend to be one of the first ones to leave those events as they used to run quite late, but they've started the meeting earlier and I was happy to feel the energy to engage in some good conversations after we had finished and still make it home by bed time.  Yay!!  It's been a nice week.

Ballet blues

Most of you are probably aware of some of your biggest faults as humans/mothers/wives, etc...  I have found since having a baby that I am not as flexible as I'd like to be when it comes to throwing my schedule off and throwing my day out of whack.  I'm pretty sure I mentioned in my last blog how much I like control...or at least, predictability.  That sounds nicer, right?  Anyway- we decided to do a little test run of a ballet class for Natty today.  I was under the impression when the secretary asked us to come in today for the teacher to look at Natty's form and flexibility (really?  for tiny kids?) that it was going to be a quick thing.  We had set up an Olympics date at a friend's house since we haven't seen any of the games yet for shortly after this check.  Well, she actually wanted Natty to participate in the full, one-hour class.  Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal normally, but having a baby that eats/sleeps in this time frame shakes things up a bit.  And, I felt a little uncomfortable with the way that the secretary at the ballet school threw some ballet slippers at us, told me I couldn't go in the class room (this is very scary for a 3 year old to do for the first time) and shoved Natty in to a big group of Spanish speaking girls in pink tutus without even introducing her or the teacher or anything.  She just had to jump in and try to make heads or tails of what was going on.  I have to hand it to her- she did amazing.  I ran upstairs to watch from this tiny room packed with Mommies who already had the good seats (all 3 of them), trying to crane my neck to see my little gringuita attempting to understand what was going on and how to coordinate her body in ways that she's never been asked to before.  There was nothing to introduce her to the art of ballet or dance or how to hold her body or anything.  Just try to keep up!  Maybe I'm asking for too much, but it all seemed to happen so fast.  I couldn't hear what was going on, but there were a dozen times when the teacher had to come over and position Natty because she wasn't catching what she was supposed to be doing.  Or, she would blankly look at the other girls who were trying to explain things to her.  She just doesn't understand Spanish anymore.  Then, Scotty showed up with Jubilee to watch and we took turns holding her while the other watched Natty.  The other thing that was causing me minor (ok, major) stress was the young mommy who was there with her 2 year old daughter.  They, of course, thought Jubilee was adorable and the mommy kept telling the little girl to grab her hands.  Does anybody think about how much babies put their hands into their mouths and how many illnesses are going around right now?  Seriously- everyone goes for the hands and the face.  And, there's no asking- there's just grabbing.  J did great until about the time the class was ending.  She had missed her nap and it was past her normal snacking hour and we ran into some friends and Natty had to take a flexibility test where her legs were pushed open wider than they've gone before (isn't that bad for tendons?) and shoes her size were trying to be found and on and on and all I could think about was how much my baby needed to eat!  Even at the moment I knew I needed to relax and just let this one go today, but I couldn't do it!  Then, we got home later than normal after watching some Olympics and I scraped together something to eat and had to abandon the meal part-way through because Jubilee became quite tired since bedtime had already passed.  I felt exhausted after all that and I kept asking myself if I could have somehow avoided the stressed feelings or if that's just my personality.  Or is there some sin mixed up in there somewhere?  What is it that makes things like that so difficult for me?  Part of what brings on the stress is that when things get a little out of control, all my emotional energies are going into trying to deal with the crisis and there is nothing left for people.  If interacting with people outside my family are part of that crisis moment, I feel as though I am giving them the shaft which upsets my delicate introverted sensibilities and I feel bad about that for the rest of the night.  Oh, my...  Again, the blog is where a lot of processing happens, so forgive my rambles.

However, Natty sure did look cute in her borrowed bright green ballet slippers skipping around the floor with all the dark-haired girls.  She seemed to have fun, despite the language barrier, and she will hopefully continue if she can learn to communicate (a condition given to us by the school).  If she decides to give it up, we might just put her into pre-K a few days a week.  :)

Also, we got all the stuff turned in for Jubilee's visa and only had to pay 5 days of tardy fees!  Hooray for Scotty and all his hard work!